My Numbers
8 is the number on my pretty pale wrist
14 is the number of times I've wanted to reset
2 is the number of times I've stood on the edge
∞ is the number of times I'll try to make amends
4 is the number of ropes tied around my neck
3 is the number of times my life became a wreck
18 is the number of times I've feared for my life
25+ is the number of times I've cut myself with a knife
31 is the number of times a hands been raised to my face
1 is the number of years I have left on this place
Freak
Another day in hell
There ringing the bells
Calling out for blood
Now we’re on the run
The demons are chasing
Chasing us down
There’s no way out
That silver blade
The crimson blood
It leaves their mark
The light pink scars
You lost the battle, your losing the war
But you pick up your gun, and you head out that door
And the war is raging on
With the battle in your head
The world is closing in
The blood is flowing fast now
Drowning all your sins
Suffocating in the lies
You're going to give in
Pills are on your nightstand
Letters in your hand
You said your goodbyes
The demons will win
Cause the scars never fade
They will always stay
And everyone can see
The freak inside of me....
Hope?
Hope is something that feels just out of reach
Yet it's supossed to make my life complete
It's something I'm yearing to feel
Something that makes life feel a little more real
I'm told that it is the greatest of feelings
Something that gives life meaning
The thing that keeps me from the ledge
An emotion to keep the demons in my head
A thought to keep my insecurities at bay
A flicker of flame on my darkest days
How I wish to feel hope
maybe then I can use it to cut this rope...
I’m doing great...
"How are you doing" is something I'm asked everyday
But no matter how I feel my answer stays the same
"I'm fine, I'm good, I'm A okay!"
Exept that isn't what goes on in my brain
"You're worthless" It screams in the dead of night
"You're weak" It sneers when I try to fight
"You disgust me" It says out of spite.
"You don't deserve it" It calls when I reach for the light
Maybe you don't care what goes on in my brain
Maybe you're wondering if my body's the same
If i'm still at the top of my game
Or if I'm starting to go a little lame
Well my body is dying, that's just a fact
I'm getting light headed, it's turning black
My head is pounding, but i'm to scared to ask
For the little bit of help that might get me on track
So I'll sit here in silence with a smile on my face
I'll sit here real quite, feeling like a disgrace
I'll sit here with patience and try to erase
This stupid, little, waste of space...
Sass, Sass, Sass
I'm Going To Put A Few Down....All Of These Are From Harry Potter!! Enjoy The Sass!!
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Harry: Yes
Snape: Yes Sir!!
Harry: There's No Need To Call Me 'Sir', Professer
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Vermon: Yes - Yes, Good Point, Petunina! What Were You Doing Under Our Window,
Boy?
Harry: Listening To The News
Vermon: Listening To The News! Again?
Harry: Well, It Changes Everday, You See
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Harry: Of Course We Still Want To Know You. You Don't Think Anything That Skeeter Cow—Sorry, Professor
Dumbledor: I Have Gone Temporarily Deaf And Haven’t Any Idea What You Said, Harry
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Dumbledor: My Own Brother, Aberforth, Was Prosecuted For Practicing Inappropriate Charms On A Goat. It Was All Over The Papers, But Did Aberforth Hide? No, He Did Not! He Held His Head High And Went About His Business As Usual! Of Course, I’m Not Entirely Sure He Can Read, So That May Not Have Been Bravery
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My Color
The Color That I Am
That Only I Can See
Is Slowly Killing Me
The Color Of The Darkness
And The Evil In Your Heart
And It Is Ripping Me Apart
The Color Of The Night
And The Emptyness Around
Is Tying Me Up And Holding Me Down
Yes, The Color That I Am
That Now You Can See
Is The Thing That Makes Me, Me........
When I’m Dead...
"She Was So Happy"
"She Didn't Have And Cuts"
"She Loved Living"
"She Never Showed Any Signs"
"I Don't Understand"
"Why Didnt She Get Help"
My Friends, My Family
None Of Them Know
Of The Skeletons In My Closet That Shall Never be Found
At Least Until I'm In The Ground
I Know The Signs To
Why Don't You Understand
That It's Easy To Be Happy
Or At Least Act Like I Am
So When They Find Me Dead
No Matter If It Was Because I Slit My Wrist
Or Hung Myself, Drowned, Jummped
Or Overdosed On My Meds
Just Know That You Don't Deserve To Doubt
Since If You Would Only Looked Into My Eyes
I Would Still Be Here Now
Wouldn't I