In lamplight, I remember you.

Like a backwards memory, fast forward. We were

A carousel of raven feathers, 

Curling smoke from an abandoned cigarette 

How could I forget that we 

were a disaster waiting to happen?

We were untouchable.

Stop, stare out at the watchers.

Laughing in their faces.

What happened to you? A girl

She, was prettier than I

And you thought you could be in love

with the two of us at the same time and 

be perfectly fine

The girlfriend (I) and the friend (she); I

Unaware of your advances, she

not wanting any of it.

She told you that I belong to you.

A reminder of friendship.

What happened to you?

What happened? Well, a boy

thought he could love two girls

at once, hold one at a distance, admire her from afar

and love the other closely.

This is not a poem of the woman scorned but the women

scorned.

We were both fooled, she into friendship and 

I the lover. 

He kissed her, in lamplight.

Under an endless sea of stars, the great moon casting 

her soft rays upon them.

He could have thought this was perfect.

Until she shoved him away, climbed out 

of the mustang. (the ironic chariot) 

Cast herself into a house of watchers.

He called me, 

I laying in my bed draped

in lamplight; the same moon and sky outside my open window.

The dancing pieces of Luna's love on my cousins carpet floor

Your confession ripped through me, 

shattering everything.

I hated you then.

And now, in lamplight, I remember you

the memory sealed into my skull,

unable to forget your ultimate betrayal

I loathe you more.

(edited because I forgot the title)

1. I remember falling in love with you.

2. The first prayer I ever said willingly was asking God if you could love me just as much as I loved you. 

3. I am sure he did not hear me. 

I do not believe in God.

4. You said you did not mean it. 

I'm not sure what "it" was. Abuse is not just one thing. 

It is a number of things tied together with thorns.

It is meant to draw blood.

5. I refuse to accept an apology. 

I refuse to climb back inside your jaws and let you swallow me whole. 

I refuse to feed my body to those who do not love me.

I refuse to die by your hands again.

6. When you said no one could love me like you did, you were right.

I do not let them.

7. Maybe my faithless prayer was heard after all.

8. I do not love you anymore.