Monsters Inside.

“I was free with every road as my home. No limitations and no commitments. But then summer passed and winter came and I fell short for safety. I fell for its spell, slowly humming me to sleep because I was tired and small, too weak to take or handle those opinions and views, attacking me from every angle. Against my art, against myself, against my very way of living. I collected my thoughts, my few possessions and built isolated walls around my values and character. I protected my own definition of beauty and success like a treasure at the bottom of the sea, for no one saw what I saw, or felt the same as I did, and so I wanted to keep to myself.

You hide to protect yourself.”

― Charlotte Eriksson

Chapter 1. Changed

His cold, dead, eyes pierced my soul and that alone made my body feel heavy. He used to be so colorful and full of life, he was so sweet and kind before this, before he became a monster. I stepped back as I saw his gray colored skin moved towards me, I hit a wall selling my fate against its brick textured casing. I felt his skin push against mine, pressing me into the wall further, I could feel my own heart pounding in my toes and I knew that he could definitely hear it which made it worse. I closed my eyes hoping it’d be over soon and then I felt his breath on my neck and then a sharp pain hit my skin, I could feel my blood run down my collarbone, I was gonna die. My vision went dark and I felt my body go limp. I was for sure dead.

My breath returned to me and I shot into a sitting position and then the pains in my body hit me, what was that? Hunger. I was in a very dark room, I knew I wasn't alone, I could hear a heartbeat in front of me near the ground, I want it so bad, I was so hungry and the sound of this person's blood running through them made me crazy, I could smell them from where I was sitting, it was a sweet but familiar smell, I tried to stand but to my dismay I couldn't stand something was holding me down. The dark room was cold but not temperature wise just a numbing cold. I felt numb, I felt the numbing cold liquid run through my veins and I felt… dead. Wait how am I alive still? What was going on? Why do I want to eat whatever living thing is on the ground right now? Then the worst question of all hit me. Did he turn me? I put my hand to my heart and sat in silence trying to block out the other heartbeat but it was so loud and it was only making my hunger grow. I tried to calm myself then the lights came on and the bright LED lights were like putting a lighter in the front of my brain, burning away all the vision I had left. As I curled up into a ball I could hear someone else in the room, no heartbeat. I received my vision and lifted my head up from my position and came face to face with the monster himself. I tried to scoot back as far as I could, it did nothing. He grabbed my arm and smiled, “hello my sweetheart.” I ripped away and stumbled back, the pain returning. My eyes averted to the body on the floor. To my disbelief, I knew who it was and my heart sank to my stomach. He pushed my face into his and looked me dead in the eyes “I said hello.” I didn't know what to do so I pushed him away. Causing him to get mad and push me up against the wall causing the hunger to subside because I was finally focusing on something other than it. He was obviously angry and irritated. “Look I did you a favor now either be respectful or pay.” his harsh voice rang into my ears but just hearing his voice made me angrier so I retaliated “I will never respect you, I'd rather die.” he chuckled “you're already dead.” he continued to laugh as he walked away from me towards a metal door. “Where are you going?” he slightly turned as he placed a hand on the doorknob. “Since you refuse to do as I say you have to pay, I was going to give you another option but you just had to be a brat.” he closed the door behind him and I tried to catch him before he left, I was to slow. I turned and the hunger came back. I moved to the furthest corner, away from the sleeping human on the floor. I began to cry as the pain grew worst and the fear was overwhelming me. He's going to make me do this. I really don't want to, the pain is too much tho. I tried to stay back as much as possible but then the body began to move, they were walking up. They pushed themselves up and made eye contact with me and they had a look of concern but also joy which made this worse. Their excitement grew as they pushed themselves to their little feet, then they ran to me. As he hugged me tight the thought going through my head about my own child scared me I slowly pushed him away and gave him a smile, I could feel his heart race and then I felt my monster come out and I tried to push it away. “ Mummy , what's wrong? Where are we?” I looked him in the eyes and began to cry. “S-sweetie I need you to stay away from Mummy and go sit in the corner over there just don't come near me right now my love, but dont worry its gonna be okay.” I pushed him further away from me and he gave me a confused sad look. “I don't want to Mummy . Please don't make me.” I then became irritated and raised my voice a little. “Arthur, Mummy said go sit down, now!” he cowered at this, I've never yelled at him before. I was about to lose it but my body pushed it away for a little longer. Arthur went to the corner and cried. It was breaking me. I then walked to the door and began to yell for that monster... The man I used to love. “PLEASE, LET HIM GO!!” I heard nothing but the whimpers of my baby boy, it was masking the sound of his heartbeat so it distracted the hunger. I pushed against the door as hard as I could and I couldn't do anything. I was stuck in a room with my son and I was a monster, a monster that was starving. I pounded on the door and yelled once more. “PLEASE DAMIEN! I DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! please...” my voice became muffled by my tears. “Please, he's only 4.” I heard the door handle from the other side unlock. I backed up and watched as he walked in with a smirk on his face. “I knew you'd come around.” I ignored his arrogant comment and looked him in the eyes seeing nothing but darkness. “Just please, I cant hurt him, I'm begging you I'll do anything.” the pain was getting worse and I hunched over in pain I felt tiny hands around my thigh and I knew it was bad. “ Mummy? Mummy are you okay?” my son's sweet voice carried its way into my brain. I looked at Damien and I think he knew that Arthur needed to leave. He grabbed him by his hand and dragged him out. Arthur cried and said stuff but the ringing in my head was too much for me at that point. Next thing I knew someone else was being thrown into the room with me. It was some old lady that had obviously been crying for a while. Before Damien closed the door he simply said one word that made me sick to my stomach “feed”. The door was shut and the lights went black. The old lady didn't even have time to scream before the monster inside took over and tore into her skin like it was paper. It was such a sweet taste and I couldn't get enough at that point, she was dead, I drained her of her blood. My first blood.

Chapter 2. Monsters Awakened.

Sitting back feeling the blood of the women I had just killed run down my mouth to my shirt, I was disgusted with myself and I wanted to die right then. I fell to my side and then the once again blinding lights came on and the door opened. It was Damien with a towel and what looked like clothes. He walked to me and set them on the ground in front of my face. “Here, change, then come out of here when you're done the door will be unlocked, take 2 rights and then a left to get to the main lobby and you'll see me.” he turned and walked away and I did as he said. After changing and staring at the lifeless body of the innocent women I turned and walked out. Taking 2 rights and a left I saw the main lobby and right in the middle was a table that was filled with coloring pages, my son sitting on one side and Damien on the other. I was infuriated. “I TOLD YOU TO TAKE HIM AWAY!!” Damien looked at me and so did Arthur, Arthur got up and ran to me. I picked him up and hugged him. Damien standing up and walking towards me I back away. “Now come on love's, don't be this way, I save your life and this is how you repay me?” his voice annoyed me and I snapped back “saved my life? My life was perfect before you did this to me. If anything all you did was kill me and put my sons life in danger.” I started walking to the doors for the exist but a bunch of men stepped in front of me. “Now love you don't think I'm going to just let you leave?” “let me and my son go, NOW!” Arthur shoved his head into my chest and covered his eyes, it almost made me feel a little normal, he’s always hated loud noises. One of the men grabbed me, almost making me almost drop Arthur. I slowly set him down and he clung to my leg. “You guys really don't want to mess with me right now,” I said in a harsh voice directing it at anyone that was about to challenge me. I then felt Arthurs' hands slip from my leg and I turned to find someone pulling him away about to bite him, to my surprise Damien seemed mad about this and he grabbed Arthur away. I grabbed the guy by the collar of his pathetic tux and looked him in the eyes. Arthur was screaming and then he was gone. I was so angry with the vamp that took him from my leg originally so I shoved my hand right through his chest and I grabbed his heart and in one swift motion I tore it out. The undead heart in my hand as I stared at the son of a b*tch while he turned to dust. I turned to find my boy and he was in the arms of Damien. For some reason I found this relieving because I knew he was safe, not thinking that were in this whole situation because of Damien. I went to grab him and then felt a tug on my back as someone pulled me away. I spun around and it was another vampire he fought but for some reason, I was winning, why? The rest backed away after I took another heart out of a vamps chest. Damien had Arthurs head in his chest and I walked to him and grabbed Arthur not thinking about my now bloody hands. I then walked out of that place without a word said.

Getting outside I felt the fresh air hit me. My brain started racing as I walked home with Arthur in my arms. What did I do? How did I do it? As my mind wondered I was sure people were questioning why I was covered in blood and carrying a child. I ignored all the looks and it was like I could only hear Arthur and I’s breath as we walked in slow motion. I couldn't feel anymore all I knew was the love for my son and the monster I had become. Finally reaching home I pushed the door open but I couldn't get in. I set Arthur inside, “ Mummy what are you doing?” his small tired voice said. “Honey I need you to say, ‘come in’.” he did so and I had relife run over me, can't believe that worked. I closed it behind me and sighed. Before taking care of him I sat him down and explain something to him: “Arthur, you can never tell anyone else to come inside okay? Never ever. Don't go with anyone or talk to anyone.” not really thinking of how young he was I explained that no one was safe and that he shouldn't trust anyone, he just nodded to me and I pulled him into an embrace. After making sure Arthur was perfectly okay and resting I took a shower and my thoughts took off again. I'm a monster now. I can't tell anyone. I can't go to work. I can't face anyone. What about Arthur I can't risk hurting him. I then stopped thinking and finished washing, watching the blood run down the drain. What have I become? Everyone has monsters inside of them, sometimes it just takes a push to awaken those monsters.

Chapter 3. The Truth.

Small heart beats roamed my head, going in my ears and out my eyes as I sat in my windowsill watching, crying as I watch all these humans and living things carry on their ways like nothings wrong like nothing has changed. When Arthur was first born I thought my life was over, no more fun, no more anything, but in reality, he is the best thing I could have ever asked for. I was only 17 when he was born but he made me feel whole, the father wanted to be in his life but things happened and he... changed. In a short matter of three years, the father of my sweet boy became a monster and managed to weasel his way to the top of the food chain. I loved him and he told me he shared the feeling but it was just a lie. When he first changed he told me he couldn't control himself so for mine and Arthur’s safety he left. Now all of the sudden to come back, to almost have me kill my son? What kind of father does that? Arthur doesn't know about vampires or his dad. He's never really asked so I never worried about it. I moved to my bed that I no longer need and laid there like a dead body on a morgue table, I mean technically I was. My mind did nothing but think. Blocking out everything I knew before, learning that I have to control myself somehow. I don't want to be this. I don't want to put Arthur through this. I didn't know what to do but lay on my back with tears pouring down my face, thinking, listening to others heartbeats and awaiting the hunters return.

It was about 3:30 am and there were noises coming from outside my house like someone on the steps. I moved to my window and lucky it looked over the steps and front door. I couldn't hear their heartbeat or see their face, they seemed worried in a panic, almost fake though. I went to the door and opened it, they jumped in surprise. “Wow! Ohh hey... Uhmm I didn't knock...” I looked him up and down, a stranger that seemed familiar but I couldn't put a name to his face. I silently stared at him as he fiddled with his hands and he couldn't stand still. I then spoke hoping the thing would stop moving, he was making me dizzy. “Who are you? And what are you doing outside my house?” his eyes went from the ground to me back to the ground. “Oh uhmm.. My names Camren. And I'm out here because I was sent to get your help.” his shaky voice was now getting on my nerves. “So you need my help at 3:30 in the morning, you do realize people are normally asleep by now?” I knew he wasn't human and I knew he was up to something, his eyes shot up to me and then he locked on. “Well we're not like normal people now are we?” his voice became harsher and his posture was now straight up and his chest popped out a little. I instantly felt intimidated so I backed up into my doorway a little so that I was inside the house. He tried stepping in but since it belonged to me and Arthur, Arthur was the only one that could invite vampires in. The ‘stranger’ was obviously irritated and I didn't know how to act, he went from nervous stranger to acting like he was king and like he knew me. He got as close as he could to me and growled at me. “You know you can't run from the truth. The truth, It'll get you someday and soon the hunger that you feel will be too much and it's gonna take your little boy, well that's if I don't first.” I was then mad but not risking going outside, I didn't know what my strength was at that point and I started to close the door, before it latched I looked him dead in the eyes and in a low toned voice I spoke, “you touch my son and ill rip your heart out through your mouth.” his cold eyes didn't change. My door shut with a light bang, still trying to be quiet so that I didn't wake Arthur. What did he mean? ‘The truth will get me someday’. What's the truth? I didn't know what to think, I couldn't think. I sat in the living room the rest of the morning, I watched the sunrise. Sitting in silence for hours, not saying a word or making a noise it was like I could hear everything going on everywhere, every little critter crawling around, every step someone took outside, every breath Arthur took, I could practically hear his chest rise up and down. Then I heard him wake up, the little pitter patter of my boy's feet took him to the room I wasn't in, “Mummy?” his tired, half asleep voice echoed in the room as I made my way up the stairs. I saw him crawling up into my bed and I laughed and helped him the rest of the way in bed, he curled up to me and I could feel his little body shake as he was cold, I pulled his blanket over him and he fell back asleep. His breath slowed and heart kept beating same as always. My precious boy, the only thing I care about now and I love him with my heart whether it was beating or not I still loved him unconditionally.. I cant hurt him, I need to get him away from me before the hunger comes back. For 2 hours my mind wondered what to do when my mind came to a thought. Marley.

Chapter 4. Marley.

‘Marley’ the name of my best friend, him and I have known each other for years and I knew that he'd hopefully be okay with watching Arthur for a little while. After calling Marley, I packed one or two bags for Arthur and took off to his house. Marley lucky lived about 3 towns away in the countryside and since I didn't really know anyone in the town I live in, no one knew about Marley. I was obviously scared to just leave my baby with someone, he’ll be too far away, my mind spoke as I said my goodbyes to Arthur and thanked Marley for watching him. What was even better is Marley knew about the vamp problem in my town and he was actually a monster too... not the same one as me but he wasn't human. Werewolf to be exact. I know it's the whole conscious thing that wolfs hate vamps but in some cases no, well in my case no. being the new vamp I was, I didn't want to put anyone in danger so I went back to my house and locked the door. Then I heard a voice come into my head, ‘the monster needs to feed.’ ‘it'll get hungry soon.’ I pushed away from the voice and sat on my conch holding in the thoughts and the slight hunger I was feeling. “I'm just glad he's safe,” a female voice said from behind me. I jumped up, ready to attack. I turned in surprise and when I did so what I saw wasn't anything I expected, a younger female, about my age. “How’d you get in my house? Who even are you?” I questioned “your house? I died here first.” I was confused with this and then it hit me, “Cal?” “indeed so” I walked closer to her. Cal was a young girl that passed away in the house from “falling” in the bathroom and hitting her head on the sink, they said she hit so hard that it caused her to have a brain aneurysm. It's a really sad story, another thing to mention is that she was only 20, same age as me when I died. “So... you're a vamp now?” “yeah sadly.” she showed a hint of sorry for me and then I smiled to change the mood. “It's fine tho... thinking about it there can be a lot of different things that can be good about being.. This” I said trying to make the best of it and she just scruff at it “Nah being dead sucks but hey at least you can touch things.” her voice changed pitch when she said that. “I'm sorry that you had to die by the by I heard stuff about you.” “good stuff?” I laughed “yes Cal, good stuff.” she smiled and then my front door opened, she disappeared. “Hello?” a voice said coming from the doorway, I stood back awaiting whatever it was. “I'm gonna come in now I don't want to intrude but...” their voice stopped as they saw me. “Well hi.” I gave them a look that pretty much said ‘get out, who the hell are you?’ Cal reappeared and stood beside me. “Who is that she said to me.” “human” I whispered to my side. The man stood in the doorway almost like he was awaiting a ‘come in’. “Can I ask who you are and why you are in my house?” he smiled and walked the rest of the way in. “ohhhh yeah sorry, Damien sent me, said that you ‘needed food’ or something, I don't really get it but said that I needed to come here.” my heart dropped as I realized what was going on. Cal stepped in front of me and looked at me. “You're not thinking about killing him, are you? Please don't.” I looked at her and then past her. I whispered under my breath, “but I'm so hungry.” I looked at her and then at him “come here.” he did as I said and closed the door behind him. He was then right in front of me, I grabbed him and pulled his neck to my mouth, my teeth now extended from my mouth into the layers of his skin, the sweet blood dripped down and I couldn't help at that point. I am a monster and I can't fix it, no fixing it. I am what people fear, I am the truth that will destroy everything...

Chapter 5. Blood.

Drunk off the smell and taste of the blood I was digesting. Why did it taste so good? Why was I so addicted? My mind wondered but I was gorging myself at this point, I didn't care. I pulled away, holding the lifeless body, blood dripping off of me and the man. Behind me was Cal she scuffed at the sight and turned in discussed. “I'm going now, have fun with the mess,” she said walking upstairs, not looking back at me, I wouldn't look at me either.

I cleaned everything up and discarded of the body, wishing that this was all just a nightmare. After that, I collapsed on the couch with a thud and I didn't move, this isn't real, this can't be happening, why me? I was mad, sad, and stunned by what I have become, I didn't know how I'm supposed to live with myself if I keep killing... I closed my eyes and hoped that it'd be over, then a knock on my door woke me up from the half sleep I was in, I sat up and stared at the door. I don't want to open it I forced myself up and drink myself to the door. I sloppily opened the door, when I opened it my heart jumped and I didn't know if that was good or bad. I was staring that the face of the man who saved me from Damien after Damian would go rogue on me. I stared into the eyes of my friend and I didn't know whether to hug him or kiss him at that point. His name? Oh yeah, his name is Aiden. We met through Damien actually, we became best friends and we may or may not have had a time where we hooked up but that doesn't matter... He's a vampire too so I won't end up killing him, he's also a “vegetarian vamp” that's what I call it, he doesn't drink live blood, only bagged blood which he gets from his job, he’s a nurse at the local hospital so it's easier to do stuff like that and get away with it. Still staring not sure what to say I stepped out and stood in front of him, face to face. I felt the tension in my stomach, the butterflies, the things I haven't felt in a long time. “Hey....” he whispered, His voice is still so .. No!! None of that can happen! I shook myself out of whatever thoughts I was having at that point and slowly spoke in a whisper along with a smile that was creeping across my face. “Hi..” we stood there for another good 20 seconds, staring, silent. Then finally I broke the silence with a hug to him. “Oof.. last time we hugged it lead to a disaster of a night.” he said in a joking voice, “Disaster is not the word id use for that but sure.” we both laughed and then had an awkward 5 seconds of eye locking, almost kissing, inches away from doing it, contact. My mind wondered all the possibilities and may or may not have distracted me from the fact that he was even here.

We both pulled away from the embrace and continued the conversation but on another topic. “So Aiden... what brings you here?” he looked at me and it was almost like he had a bit of sadness, “Well, I heard what Damien did to you, I should have been here for you, I should have never left.” he said as he looked at the ground, I placed my hand on his arm and he looked at me with those puppy eyes, “It's not your fault Aiden, it's mine and you have no reason to be sorry.” “Yes, I do! You should never have been alone, this is completely my fault, I mean I've always wanted to have you live forever, I wanted to turn you when we were together but you told me you didn't want that for yourself and Arthur. I am so sorry.” my eyes filled with tears as all the memories came back to me of the time we had shared and what I was .. human. To think that I was living only a couple days prior was weird... I miss it. I miss being able to hug my baby without thinking of what his blood tastes like, I miss being able to walk into a friends house without having them say ‘come in’. I miss it all. Realizing that we've been standing outside this whole time I was about to invite Aiden in, I moved to signal that he should come in and then I remembered that Arthur was the only one that could do that. “Oh, sh*t I'm sorry I completely forgot that I can invite you in... Arthur is the only one able to and he's not here.” Aiden smiled and looked at me, “so where is the little munchkin I've been dying to met him, no pun intended.” I laughed “he's at Marley’s for a while... until I control myself.” Aiden's face went from smiling to almost devastated. “Marley? Marley as in Marley your wolf best friend? The one I had an issue with? That Marley?” I was confused by his rushed attitude and questions. “Yes, yes that Marley. Why?” Aiden backed away, “Oh god.” “What?! Aiden what is it?!” worry rushed through me like adrenaline going through a hunting dog. Aiden grabbed my hand and pulled me off the steps. “You didn't know?” “Didn't know what Aiden? You're really scaring me!” his face filled with a mixture of fear and sadness scared me more. “Aiden... What is going on?” my voice cracked as I could feel a lump forming in my throat because of fear. Then he looked me in the eye. “About 2 hours ago... Damien and the vamps ... they went to Marley's house...” my whole body froze “They... they burned the place down... I am so... so sorry. I thought you knew that's why I didn't say anything before, and if I would have known that Arthur was in there....” I backed away feeling my legs go to jelly, my stomach turn, my eyes blur. “W--wh..” I feel on my knees, staring at the ground feeling everything stop. I couldn't feel anything but anger and fear. I felt Aiden put his arms around me, I felt him cry, I felt everything that was physically but nothing mental... Only anger. Revenge will be taken.

Chapter 6. Revenge.

The pain and anger of just sitting there were killing me, the thoughts of my baby being gone killed me. Aiden still holding me, I burst up with anger pushing him to the ground. Not knowing what I was gonna do I was filled with anger and I blacked out. My eyes shot open as I was standing in front of a large door, Damien's place. A voice came behind me, Aiden's voice, “Hey, what are you doing? You realize you can't go in there right?” I whipped around and I was vamped out (black eyes and teeth showing) “Aiden don't tell me what I can and can't do!! They killed ...” my voice cracked as I felt the lump forming once again and tears forming and pushing themselves down my face. “T- they killed my baby, now it's time I kill them.” Aiden closed his eyes and sighed, “fine” he opened his eyes and he was vamped out “but you are not doing this alone.” I nodded and faced the door again. Backing up I rammed my hand into the door slamming it open. All eyes were averted to me and Aiden, and as I expected Damien right in the middle of it all. Some of the vamps looked pretty beat up, I scuffed as I walked through the vamps, “looks like Marley put up a fight.” Damien's face almost showed remorse or guilt as if he knew what was about to happen. It made me laugh. He backed away and other vamps stepped in front of him and me. “Oh come on Damien, don’t you wanna fight me? you did a little bit ago, what happened? Oh, the wait was it because YOU KILLED MY BABY???!! OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST FREAKING AFRAID OF WHAT IM GONNA DO?!” I could feel the fear among everyone, why are they scared of me? I'm new. Aiden behind me, I'm sure that he knew I was going to tear them into pieces, he placed a hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down or something, it wasn't working. The anger was growing and my sadness was still at a numbing hold. I could feel it though, I could feel the depression from the loss pushing against my undead heart, holding on to my body. I ignored it, all I wanted at that point was that son of a b*tch to pay for what he had done. The other vamps, I like to call them Damien’s b*tches, anyways they got closer to me and one of them made the mistake by touching me, that pissed Aiden off. Aiden then pulled me back into him and then behind him, Damien’s face when he saw Aiden was like he had just seen a ghost. I didn't explain this but Aiden was Damien’s best friend and his... his maker...

Aiden pulled me back and with his insane strength he shoved his hand right through the vamps chest, pulling heart and all out in one swift movement. I gasped at the sight and backed up, I had never considered the power vampires have, the control, the brutal mentality. I wanted to be able to feel that. I want to control so bad. My mind and body then clicked, it .. ‘switched’ off now I have power, I had no feelings now, no anger, no sadness, no care for anything. I was confused for a second but the feeling of … relief overwhelmed me and I was consumed with nothing but free hate.

Chapter 7. The Switch.

“You are confined by only the walls you build around yourself.”

The fire that once burned inside of me was gone and I was now just a vessel with broken dreams and hopes, I had no recollection of what I was about to do or say, I had no idea what monster I would turn into, I had become the beast that I feared, I had become him.

I stood there, no covered in freshly, popped right out of the body, blood, that was going to stain the clothes I had worn. Moments, before I had a breakthrough where I stopped caring, with the stopping of care I tore Damiens b*tches into little bits with my teeth and hands and I, didn't even frown, leaving Damien, I walked straight out of the hill building and made my way back to the boring old house of mine forgetting about Aiden. “Hey!! Get back here, right now, you tell me what the hell just happened?!” Aiden spoke in a rushed, yet angry voice. “What?” I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, he grabbed me and pulled me to my house, opening the door he pushed me inside following me. “What the hell did you just do?” I smiled. “I killed them, and don't ask why, because all I'm gonna say is ‘because I wanted too’.” concern rose upon his face, “one second you were scared and upset, next you… you do that like it was nothing… and it doesn't affect you that you just killed 12 or so men?” I laughed “they weren't men sweetheart, pure monster, just like you and I, someone had to kill them, why not let it be me?” “What got into you? Why are you acting like this? Are you in denial?” I smirked and looked at him. “Denial about what?” “Your son?” I shot him another smile and a dark glare, “oh yeah... Forgot about that, ehh i'm not that mad about it, the kid wasn't much help anyway-” before I even gotta finish my sentence I was thrown up against my wall and Aiden was inches from me. I laughed and looked him in the eye, “Ooo, someones being rough, I like this side of you, you should show it more often.” he was then infuriated “What is wrong with you?! Your son is dead and you don't even care, (his voice trailed off and realization rolled over his face) you don't care do you?” smiling I simply answered, “nope.” his grip on my arms tightened and he pulled me away from the wall a little, “you flipped your switch didn't you?” “Oooh, so that's what this is! I've been a little curious but I really didn't care to find out because I feel great, I don't have to care at all or even think before doing something, it just happens. It's great.” I looked into his eyes and I knew I should have felt bad but when I looked into his eyes I saw the caring undead soul there but I knew that when he looked into my eyes, he saw nothing but darkness. Aiden released me which made me laugh for some reason and he just looked at me like he was going to say sorry or some pathetic stuff like he always does. I had forgotten the feelings from before already and I was okay with that but Aiden was not. Anyways time went by like nothing and I grew hungry, it was pretty much 5 hours or so since Aiden said anything to me which didn't bother me but I wanted to get under his skin so bad just to see what he would do. He was in the shower and I took that as my opportunity, I walked to the bathroom and stood in the doorway for a little and then made my way over to the curtain and I didn't want to scare him too much so I took a step back and then said his name, “Aiden?” I wanted to seem … nice… just to maybe ensure that it gets what I wanted. He pulled back the curtain just enough to see me, he squinted “Do you need something?” he was still mad at me, his voice had an irritated tone. “Well I just wanted to apologize for earlier but seems like you don't want to talk at all so…” I lead my voice and starting walking outside the bathroom. He sighed and then spoke, “well then talk, and it's not blaming you for your whole switch thing but I'm not happy with you for what you said.”I gave him a fake ‘i'm sorry, please don’t be mad’ face and it worked, he smiled at me, “I am sorry” he chuckled is he buying this bs? I didn't believe this at first, he looked at me with a kind smile I moved closer to him trying to act normal, what even was normal at this point, I am an undead, uncaring or loving, thing. I got to where I was face to face with him and he was obviously nervous which I didn't understand. “Why are you nervous?” he looked at the ground and stuttered in a shaky voice, why out of all things is he nervous? What is wrong with him? “I-- am not nervous, just feel weird because you're not you and this would be like taking advantage of a drunk person…” setting a hand on his newly washed skin, he shuttered slightly and then I used that to ... surprise him. I pulled him into a kiss and then it went from there….

Hours later, after ‘sleep’, I got out of the bed, as I sat up I looked to my side and saw the sleeping beauty, me being the beast I got up and dressed. Aiden turn as he woke, “Where are you going?” I didn't even turn to look, why to bother, “I'm hungry.” as I walked down the stairs I could hear Aiden struggling to get dressed, in the hurried action he caught me on the stairs. “Hey, maybe we should try to work on drinking blood bags?” I scoffed at him with a slight chuckle and then he gave me a serious face, “Ooh, you're being serious... Nah I think actual food sounds better right now.” I turned to grab the door and he pulled me back into his arms, “can you just try the blood? For me?” I felt this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach and it took my breath away, then I pushed it away and the feeling of numbness came back. “Like I said I'm good, I want real food, not some donated liquid that some ‘saint’ gave to the shit hole you work in.” he looked at me and I swore I could see the anger build inside him. “I'm not letting you leave, you will not kill some innocent soul, you'll feel bad forever, you'll have to live with that pain and fear you caused them as they took their last breath.” I started laughing with a hushed, yet harsh, insane laugh. “You have to be kidding me Aiden, I have already killed someone innocent and do I look like I care? No? Well, that's because I don't. Now get out of my way.” “No that's only the switch being off, but when you turn it back on, you'll feel the worst, it's an awful feeling, I don't want you going through that so, I'm sorry for this, but it's for your own good.” before I could even think about questioning him and what he was saying he put his hands on my head and in a swift movement came a snap and I blacked out.

Chapter 8. Reawaken.

The mind is a tricky thing, almost like a ticking time bomb that is awaiting its explosion on impact, it wants to go off but the things around it do not.

My mind was filled to the brim with sadness and anger before my switch, why the hell would I want to change that.? I shot up with no breath in my body, eyes heavy and body … stuck? I couldn't move but I also felt so heavy I didn't want to. My eyes opened with a burning pull and a ripping of the skin feeling. I tried to look around but to no avail, darkness except on singlar light that was hanging over me but last time I was in a dark room I killed some old lady. An evil laugh came to my lips and in my mind, there was a voice that said ‘that's not you’. That sent chills down my spin and it hit something. Next thing I know the door to this room was slowly opening with a figure coming inside the room. It was Aiden, his familiar smell rolled through the air, I smiled. “Hey sweets.” him still in the darkness, my voice was loud like an echoing noise that rang through the room. That told me that there wasn't anything else in the room but me and the chair I was tied to, I could feel the ropes burning into my skin as it seemed it was tightening. He was silent, not a noise coming from him, for a second I doubt that it I was even him until he stepped forwards into the light. “We are going to stay in here until you flip your switch, I won’t allow you to ruin peoples lives just because you felt like it.” He didn’t look pleased at all or sound it, which I mean was expected, I smiled, “Your words are like a gun filled with blanks, it's loud but nothing comes after.” he grew a smirk and that almost scared me a little bit, but with a soft spoken voice that almost sounding innocent I said “Can you please let me go? It hurts just sitting here.” he then got closer to me and in a heartless, no thought, movement he put his foot on the side of the metal chair and kicked it over. I hit the ground with a loud thud and my arm that was tied behind me and the chair, the arm that was pin to the cold ground after being smashed my the chair and myself, was broken, I screamed as the bones in my shoulder and my upper arm snapped in seconds, even though I was a vampire my bones were the same brittle bones I have always have. I was weak and hungry before but now i'm weak and hungry with a broken arm that would heal with in a few hours. The pain sensors in my brain went off when I tried to move, trying to move caused the weight of myself to grow larger and shift on the injured arm which just sent pain up and down my whole left side. Aiden, still standing in the room, close to me, “Is that better?” well, his more gutsy then I thought. My brain didn’t really know what to think at this, the pain was a little much at the time. I gathered everything I had and in a huffed voice I spoke like what just happened was nothing, “got some spark I see.” my voice was scared but also calm and untimid hoping that would make him think that I wasn’t affected. He got closer to me and he placed a hand on my leg and one on my good arm along with holding the chair, he pulled me up and the pain was intense but I held my breath, the second I was now sitting I felt a little better with not having weight on the injury. I huffed finally getting breath and he chuckled, fuck he know, I looked at him and smiled, “come on babe, i’m not that easy to break down.” he just smiled back and walked out of the room without a word. If i’m being honest I was relieved he left. I felt the bone being healed but it was slow, no blood means no energy which just means that the healing process was going to be really slow and ill be super weak. I knew what he was doing to, starving me, he was probably planning on me starving and sense it is indeed painful I would give in and flip the switch, he had a plan, I did not.

Chapter 9. The flip.

I was alone in this room, dark, cold, insanely bored and I didnt have my toy to play around with, Aiden, I used him and had my fun but now he thinks that he's gonna be this ‘hero’ and save me from my switch but what he doesn't understand, I do not want to be saved.

The door was still shut, it had been at least 15 minutes sense I told him that he can do better than breaking my arm, I don't care whether he comes back or not but it did scare me a little to not know what was going to happen, but maybe id get lucky and he’ll just kill me. I was sitting in silence and I was getting impatient with him, but I just waited. For what, I do not know, good, maybe, bad, most likely.

For what seemed like hours he finally came back in carrying something that looked like a suitcase almost coffin like but not big enough to be so. He had tears in his eyes and on his face, I could smell the sadness rotting off of him, why? I just looked at him with a smile and he throw the case on the floor at my feet, “i hope that you can reconsider switching now.” his tone seemed like it was filled with regret, oh well. I just laughed and looked at the case, it reeked of death, hmm, what's in it? He slid it closer, knelt down and slowly opened it, inside was a blanket wrapped body, very specific blanket, I looked down as the fimlar colours and images that lay on the blanket ran wild in my mind, he looked at me and I was emotionless still, he then pulled back the blanket exposing a small charred body that was still of a human, it was him, Arthur. My mind clicked and the heart break set in, I felt emotion, I was crying and then I closed my eyes and there it was, my switch, I flipped it and began to sob as I stared at my boys lifeless body. Aiden noticed, closed the case and untied me, “i am so sorry I had to.” I didn't say anything as he grabbed me and held my sobbing, starving body, I cried and began to cough, I pulled away from Aiden and put my hand over my mouth, when I pulled away there was blood coming out, this isn't normal. As the blood dripped from my mouth and hands as I coughed more and more, I thought I was coughing my lungs out, I could feel one of my ribs crack as the coughs became violent, Aiden was trying to help but nothing did, I blacked out from the loss of blood that was pouring onto the ground and the breaking of my ribs.

Opening my eyes I had a sweet familiar taste in my mouth, blood. Aiden was standing above me, he was giving me blood, but whos, and where was i. I didn’t remember really remember anything at this point but then again everything was really foggy and a blur, like waking up after a night of drinking and having a hangover but worse. The pain I felt in my head was terrible. I sat up and leaned against a wall, I looked around and saw the familiar sheets, I was in my bed, why did it feel so relieving to be here, as my mind started to clear and come back I remembered the stuff I did, the stuff I said, oh my god, Arthur, I started to tear up and aiden's attention was brought, he hugged me. Then I remembered the events that occured with him, that night, that switch is a fucking curse and I wish that it didn't exist. I pulled away from him almost mad, I knew what he did, I remembered staring at my baby’s body, I get it was the only way to get me back but I didn't want to feel this way ever again, I can't be mad at him but I can't be happy with him either, for one he did that and two, “aiden why did you have sex with me while my switch was off?” he choked on his own oxygen and he looked at me “what? Ohhh.. ya about that.. I honestly don't know, I really like you and you wanted it and ..” I cut him off, “so you let the emotionless side of me perseid you into screwing because you like me?” I paused and his face became red and I didnt want to upset him too much, “aiden I thought that you had more self control then that” I started to laugh and he kind of just gave off a chuckle but it lightened the mood. The silence grew loud in my ears and I didnt like it, the tension and awkwardness grew with and I decided to break it, or make it worse. I grabbed him, pulled him in and kissed him, “thanks for saving me, and sorry for saying all the shit I did, you didn't deserve any of it.” he just kissed me back, “don't worry about it love, try and ignore that okay? If you don't ignore the guilt will eat you alive.” I just smiled and hugged him thinking to myself. He saved me, yet he isn't okay still. What's going on?

Chapter 10. Father figure..

{3 weeks later}

With Arthur being gone I felt more empty then I have ever felt before, he was like my little hero, god I miss him, as my brain thought of him it brought tears to my eyes, Aiden walked in, I wiped the tears from my eyes and sat up (I was sitting in my room) “Hey are you ready to go?” he asked almost sympathetic like he didn't really want to go either. “Uhm yeah I guess so.” I grabbed my jacket and walked out my bedroom door latching it behind me, not knowing that would possibly be my last time stepping foot into that room.

As I walked through the front door of the house I once loved, closing that door of bitterness, I felt something, not necessarily like I missed the place but more insecure I didn't feel safe. I pushed away the feelings that were building up inside and kept walking, entering Aidens car, our next stop was Brooklyn. Brooklyn was home of a very special friend of Aiden and mines, he was a witch actually, lucky us he doesn't hate vamps... well Aiden and I that is. His name was Mark, Mark O’Neil. He was a “hunter” per-say, he hunted things, like vamps, evil things that kill innocent people. We met when I was about 15, something I never really wanted to fully admit to, but the past is the past and I have moved on. Anyways, I ran from my home that … that bad stuff happened in and that is were I will keep that but I ran and ran. I was on the verge of starving to death, I had no shelter, no water, and no food, at that point I was “missing” for about 2 weeks, I had just ran out of my last bit of water, literally the only thing I brought with me but at that time I really didn't care. I was walking down the road and I passed out on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere mind you. I thought that it was the end for me so I gave up, then as I gave up, an older man pullover and picked me up he was kind enough not to kill me but take me to the hospital. Where child services came to get me once I was in a stable and take me back to the hell hole that my “parents” lived in, no one would listen to me until Mark, he saved me and from that hell hole and helped me start my life, and then I fell for the asshole that turned me into the monster I am right now. That whole story was beside the point but thinking about now made the time go by as we drove the 215 mile drive to Brooklyn.

Why do I do the things I do? Why do I hold my breath, waiting for something to happen when I know nothing will happen? I was staring at marks house, sitting in the car, frozen, not wanting to get out preparing myself for him to be mad sense I promised that id stay safe which I obviously didn't do very well. Mark knew what happened to me and arthur but I never talked to him, Aiden did, I didn't want to hear the disappointment in his voice but now i'm gonna have to see it on his face. Mark walked out of his house, stood on his deck and I opened my car door and got out, it was like staring at someone I missed so much, he was like my hero even tho I only stayed like 5 months with him until I turned 18, but he was there for me. He walked off the deck getting closer to me as he stepped off those familiar stairs with that old creek that echoed into the air. He finally made his way to me and stood 3 feet away and looked down at me, instead of disappointment on his face he grew a smile that went from ear to ear. Is he proud? My mind wondered on this, he was never the type to “be proud” of something, ever. He pulled me into a long needed hug, something was different though, there was something going on that I didn't know about and I was going to find out.

“Eggs?” I hear as someone opens the door to the room I was staying in, I opened my eyes to see Mark in the doorway, wearing an apron and holding a spatula. I laughed a bit and sat up, not remembering that I was only in a bra, Mark covered his eyes and started to laugh, I covered up. “Yes, Mark, I would love some eggs, sorry about the nudity by the by.” I laughed as I layed back down to face Aiden. Mark walked away whistling his favourite song like he always use to. I turned to find Aiden asleep, he’s so sweet when he’s asleep. My mind was thinking of nothing other than him and how he was perfect. But why am I so caught on him? I didn't want to think about that, go away thoughts. He rolled over so that he was now on his side, facing me, his eyes fluttered open and a smile crept across his pale cheeks. “Well good morning beautiful.” he said in a morning voice. “Morning handsome.” I smiled back at his and we just laid there talking about random stuff, almost human stuff. Is this our normal? *BANG*. Aiden and I jumped to the sound of a gun going off, and Mark yelling at something. We both got to our feet and I rushed down the stairs almost falling. I came to the kitchen to see Mark aiming a gun at something in the corner, he was going to shoot. I ran over to Mark and looked at the thing quivering in the corner of the kitchen counter, it was a dog, a small mangy, dirt covered dog. As Mark pulled the trigger I slammed my hand on to the barrel causing the gun to go to the side of the animal. “WHAT THE HELL J!!!!” my nickname, so weird hearing, I snapped out of whatever little bit of amazement and I looked at Marks face, he was turning red, “Mark, you can't kill a dog, what the hell is wrong with you. You know how I feel about that kind of stuff.” I walked over to the scared dog and it tried moving away from me, “shh, hey it's okay little one, I promise that you'll be okay.” it looked up at me and it had green eyes, I was speechless, i've never seen a dog with green eyes before, I slowly moved my hand to the dog and lightly petted it's head, feeling the dirt that laid on its body. Aiden walked over and the small dog cramed itself behind me. Aiden stopped. Both the men looked at me and then the hiding dog, Mark, not so mad now, put the gun on the counter and walked away, “By the way, breakfast is done, eat up.” Aiden got up and got some food for the dog, “Eggs? Is that safe?” he asked me with concern. “... it’ll be fine if you feed it eggs.” laughing, pulling the puppy from behind me, setting it on my lap, it's a girl.

Chapter 11. The dog.

We feed her, gave her water and soon to give her a bath, she was so dirty, it looked like she was living in a mud puddle. She was so dirty you could barely see what colour she was. I ran the bath in the upstairs bathroom, realizing we don't have dog soap, “crap Aiden, we have no soap for her.” he looked at me weird. “Why don't you just use your shampoo.” I wanted to hit him, he definitely can't take care of animals. I sighed and brought my eyes up to him, “it's just like having a baby, you have to use a certain soap because the skin is more sensitive than ours, if I use my shampoo her skin will be irritated. So ...please will you just run to the store and get some dog shampoo?” he grunted and then smiled, “finney.” as he walked out of the bathroom Mark walked in. He set his body up on the doorframe and looked down at me, “you really care about this thing don't you.” he tried to seem upset or emotionless towards it but I saw the slight smile on his face appear. “This thing, this thing is a living thing and does not deserve to die.” I looked at the dog and smiled, causing the dog to wag her little tail back and forth. “How’d it even get into the house to begin with?” he looked at me in confusion, “i actually don't know, I was cooking and all the sudden, out of nowhere, this dog was trying to steal the bacon off the countertop, I didn't even have any doors open though.” “hm, strange, oh well tho, i'm going to get her cleaned up and figure out what to do with her. I just sent Aiden to go get some dog shampoo.” he laughed at what I said and then got down to my level and sat there. “You are possibly the most caring vampire I have ever met.” hearing those words come out of his mouth almost stung, but I smiled so he didn't see the pain it caused me to be a monster. “Well some of us still have hearts.... Some what.” we both laughed, “you need a name for the mut tho.” his comment took me by surprise actually. I didn't think he cared. “Well.... how about I wash her up and then we can all decide.” he smiled and walked off.

(an hour later)

After sitting there on that hard, bathroom floor, for such a long time, Aiden had finally came back. Handing me the bag with soap in it I took it out, I finished filling up the tub and started washing the pup. As I washed her Aiden kind of just watched from a distance, “Aiden, what are you doing?” he slowly came to my side and then whispered. “I may have been the one that let the dog inside...” I whipped around, “YOU DID WHAT??” he put his hand on my mouth, “shhh, it was an accident...” I didn't even understand how but I didn't care then. “Well... just don't tell Mark, he would beat the hell out of you if he found out you let a dog in his damn house.” Aiden nervously smiled and then slouched up against the wall, continuing to watch me bathe the dog. After she was all clean and not covered in nasty mud, I could see the colour of her fur, it was brown. I wrapped her in a towel, dried her off, and took her down stairs to the living room where Mark was seated. I walked in and sat down in the chair across from him, right next to Aiden. “so , have a name for the mut yet?” I scowled at him for continuing to call her that. “No, nothing yet.” “well, come on now, pick a name, it... she needs one.” did he just have sincerity to his voice? Aiden looked at the puppy and then at me, “How about Wren?” I immediately fell in love with it, “I love it”, I looked down at her, “Well hello little Wren.” Aiden smiled and then looked at Mark. his smile faded and he shied away from his gaze. What was that about? “anyways … the names perfect, if i’m remembering right the name means, a small brown songbird, yes she’s not a bird but she’s small and brown so it has to count for something.” Mark smiled at me and glared at Aiden, he then got up and walked up the stairs, before he had completely went into his room he turned and looked down on the both of us, “I’m going to bed early, I have to get up before 4am for a … hunt, before you both sleep make sure you close up the barn and please make sure the house doors are locked, I dont need anyone trying to get in.” we both nodded he then looked directly at me “goodnight J-bird.”

My nickname that was given to me by Mark when I was living with him, he’s like a father to me, since I never really had one to begin with. My brain wondered. I think that i’m like a daughter to him, so I have a feeling that maybe he doesn't like Aiden because of that, I dont think hes completely come to the matter that im not human or a child anymore, which doesn't bother me in anyway because I love Mark, but I think I love Aiden to.. But I love Mark as a father and Aiden im… My thoughts were interrupted by the small barking of Wren, she was now standing on my lap barking at the window. I set her down and she jumped back into the chair, I was already standing, since it was still really light outside, it was only 5pm, I walked to the window to see if I could see anything that would make her bark. Nothing. “Hey Aiden, would you mind going and closing the barn up for me?.... pleaseeee” I smiled and gave him that ‘pretty please’ look. He smiled and sighed. “Fine but you owe me.” he smirked and walked off. I walked into the kitchen and turned to Wren, “looks like we need to clean up the kitchen a little bit.” starting with the mud mess that was all over the floor, I am guessing it's all from Wren, I grabbed the broom, something in the window reflection caught my eye, it was starting to get dark out so you can see the reflection of you and whatever else is in the kitchen like an imperfect mirror. When my eyes gazed up to the window what I saw behind me made me lose my breath, my balance, it was him, the devil himself, the one that caused all of this mayhem, the death of my son, he made the monster I see when I look in a mirror. It was Damien, with his smug smile across his face, causing anger to grow inside of me. My face fell to face the sink, hoping that whatever was about to happen would be over, I felt someone grab my from behind, whipping around, ready to fight to find Aiden, confused and holding me. “Oh.. hi Aiden...” he gave me a weird look, “you okay?” I just laughed and tried to forget whatever I just saw. “Mhm i'm fine. How was closing the barn?”, I didn't know what else to say I just wanted to change the subject. “Uhm well it was just like ... well closing a barn door.” we both awkwardly laughed and then I continued to pick up the kitchen now with the help of Aiden. After we ate dinner that we both cooked, put Wren in the entry room to the house with food, water, and a bed, then we simply went to bed. What did I see? How did I see him? Why?

Chapter 12. Things happen.

(2am.)

I couldn't sleep, my mind was running a hundred miles an hour, am I ever going to sleep? I tossed and turned as I restlessly held my eyes shut. Stop thinking please, just stop, I want to sleep. After that thought ran throw my already noisey head I heard a loud thud come from down stairs, first thoughts were: Wren. I sighed and flung the blankets off of me, pushing myself out of bed, just once can I not have something happen, breaks, I want breaks. I was angrily thinking the whole time I walked from the bedside to the bottom of the stairs. Then the smell stopped me dead in my tracks, I smelt blood, it wasn't human either. Fear ran through my veins as the thoughts of what could have happened ran wild like the wind. No no no no... please don't be Wren. tears were already filling my eyes. I walked around the corner to the door that was closed and lead to the entry way, I slowly put my hand on the door knob and slowly turned it, with an ageing creek of the door opening I saw it. Blood everywhere on the floor. Wren in pieces, nothing left but the collar I had placed around her neck so she could feel more like she was at home. I was frozen with numbing fear and sadness, once again I was broken. I started walking towards the remains of Wren, I picked up the collar. Covered in blood, skin, hair, I could feel the emotions piling up, emotion overload, then the noise of the still existing monster that did its horrific crime, growls that erupted from behind me, at me, I slowly turned around and I saw it. Leviathan. I backed up and ended up hitting a wall, I didn’t have a weapon or anything, I was screwed. The only way to kill one of these things is chopping its head off… I had nothing to do so with. I closed my eyes tight awaiting my death once again to be killed by another monster. I felt something brush across me, ever so slightly, slicing deep into the skin that held my very body together. Ripped open, the pain started to spread, I didn't fight, no reason to. The feeling of relief filled my body, did you know that a single cut from a leviathan kills anything in a matter of hours? That’s simply because they are some stupid but smart monsters that some god decided to make to stop all evil, yet his creation was the most evil out of all. There was and still is no cure, nothing to help it. I was free. Finally. Closing my eyes as I felt 2 more cuts ranging into my skin, sealing my death, feeling the blood of my own run down my body, everything stopped, it was silent and black, I didn't bother to open my eyes, I thought I was dead.

Light started to seep through the slight cracks in my eye lids, was I dead? I didn't want to open them, afraid to see something such as heaven or most likely hell, where do vampires even go after they die? How did I die? I am a vampire, wait... what's that? I could hear whispers roaming through the air surrounding my head. What are they saying? I couldn't hear anything and the fear of opening my eyes was still greatly impacting me and my option to open my eyes. But I was so curious. I felt oddly numb at the time, slow breathing, coldness was as normal so I wasn't really noticing it, now the smell, that was different, that wasn't anything I was familiar with, more of a dead flesh but clean smell. I know it didn't make sense but my brain isn't registering was it was. I grew more curious and then the courage to finally open the eyes that consiled all that I was hiding from, I did it, I opened them slowly and was blinded by a bright light that was hanging above my still numb body. Why can’t I move? Instantly my brain panicked and I started to squirm under the straps that I could now clearly see, the old whispers now became new, louder, voices saying words I still did not understand. I felt hands on my unsteady body as if to hold me down, I wake up like this way to much. I wanted up. Then feeling a sharp pain in my arm and a calming ‘shush’ of someone familiar filled the inside of my ear. I felt their breath dance on my neck, I knew their smell. Damien.

Chapter 13. Free.

Cold and locked away, not so much scared then defeated, I was once again in the control of the beast I hated more than anything or anyone before. I couldn't feel my legs at this point, being tied down for such a long time, so tightly bound to the freezing table beneath my damaged body. The feeling was also slowly leaving my arms and back. I felt as if there was no point to fighting anymore, I had been stuck there for days maybe weeks, I was starving, drained of blood, day on end of being torched, healed, and touched some more. I gave up. Then out of nowhere a warm arm touched the almost dead skin on my cheeks, I didn't even want to open my eyes, but I could listen, there was a heart beat, a beating drum that pounded, pumping blood through a human being, their breath was slow, they stayed silent, do they think i'm asleep? The must have because not one word was spewed out of them until I opened the rusted over lids that protected the keepers of my soul. (that was weirdest way to say eyes...) as they opened I saw an almost familiar face peering down at me, it was Mark. I felt almost completely relieved but not at the same time, then closing my eyes I listened to the heart beat, it slowly faded away but I was not tied up anymore. I got up and stumbled my way to a nearby door. I opened the door, it lead outside, to an alleyway that was between two buildings and the cool breeze brushed through my hair, somewhat fresh air krept to my nose. I was free. Then I felt my knees hit the ground and my eyes shut.

The peacefulness of my new found freedom was soon to be lost. Sirens blared through the nearby streets, closer and closer the loud alarming noise got right to the entrance of the alley, police cars surrounded both ends, i could fight my way out but i was so weak i couldn't move anymore. But then there it was, fresh, overwhelming sound of a heart beat and blood pumping through someone's innocent veins, it was human and it was my food.

I got all my strength and pushed myself up, rushed around to see the unknowing victim, it was just some lady coming out of her car. Not thinking just feeling hunger grow more and more, next thing i knew i was holding her against her car, slowly killer her, draining her of that blood i oh so needed. I stopped when i felt people ripping my shoulders back, i tried to fight back but soon felt a sharp pain shoot into my neck, assuming a needle. Then it all went dark.

Chapter 15. Arrested.

“When I was 10 I always dreamt that someday, hopefully, I would have a beautiful wedding, kids and a rich husband, the mind of a 10 year old is weird to be honest. But I had those dreams just like every other 10 year old little girl. I didn't have any siblings so, playing as a kid wasn't really fun, not having someone to be with and play with was always hard, I also didn't have friends, at least not till I was about 16 or 17 but by then I was on the run. The only friends I made was the people that would talk to me for about 5 minutes when I was with Mark, the people that would be nice while Mark was in the store with me and they would be Marks “hunter buddies”, if they could see me now… I never thought as a 10 year old girl that I would grow up to be such a monster to myself and others. I guess they dont lie when they say someone changes in a short amount of time.” I voice trailed off as I moved away from the digital recorder that was recording in front of me. The man sitting in the chair across the table from me pulled it in a slow motion away and got a ‘good cop’ smile on his face, “that's good, but what else do you want to tell us? What are you? Why are you a “monster” as you call yourself?” when he said the word monster he held his opened hand up and made air quotes with his index finger and his middle finger. I sat back almost offended and it was obvious in my tone of voice, “i don't know why you quoted around the word monster, its not fake and it's not a joke, i'm a monster, that's that. I do terrible things to innocent people, you witnessed that yourself.” he laughed and wrote on a little, yellow, sticky pad that was stuck on a folder that I could only assume had evidence of my murders in it. “Fine if you don't believe me unhandcuff me and i'll prove it.” I gave a bit of a smirk and he looked at me and stood up, “this should be good, I mean you weigh how much? 100 pounds maybe that? Let's see this.” as he unhandcuffed my bruised wrists were reviled and I rubbed them, I pulled my hand away and the injuries disappeared. His eyes wandered up and down at me. “What's wrong? See something?” I chuckled as I moved closer to him, he pulled his gun out of its carrier, *bang* one shot into my shoulder, I keep walking slowly towards him, blood dripping all over the floor, *bang* one more but this one hit my undead heart, I stopped and touched it lightly, “oo ouch, that one stung.” his eyes widened more and more, you could see the fear peeling off of him, the door that's locked that lead to the rest of the building started to have loud bangs on it, “more of your cop friends? Thats cute.” they pushed the door in and that was my opportunity to get out, they ran at me guns roaring, they missed a lot. I run out the door with incredible speed and pushed a file cabinet infront, “suck it.” I turned to see a bunch more waiting for me, “Shit.”

Fin.

August 29, 2019

Hello, my name is Samuel Wells most people call me Sam. I just turned 18 in july and I have lived in Columbia Falls in Montana my whole life. Ever since I was like 15 i've always wanted to live in Oregon, specifically Lincoln city, Oregon. There was just something about it that I loved and maybe because it was a smaller town right on the edge of the ocean I don't really have any reason why. For 3 years i've been planning to move there once I turned 18 and I had graduated which I actually graduated in the end of may so that gave me enough time to buy a house down there, make enough money for the trip down there which is an 11hr drive. I talked it over with my parents and they were proud that I was taking my “own steps as an adult”, I got all my things packed and ready to go and today was the first day of the trip.

I got in the moving truck and started the “journey”, it was around 6 or 7 in the morning I didn’t really check my phone before saying my goodbyes. The first couple hours were good, until I got in portland and that's when all the crazy started. I was driving in a tunnel and this car came from nowhere and hit the side of my moving truck which knocked me into the wall of the tunnel, i'm guessing I was knocked out by the impact because the next thing I know i'm being asked if i'm okay by a policeman, and being told that “the ambulance will be here soon”. I was a bit dizzy but I got better once I was out of the truck, I looked at the damage on the truck and it looked like it had a big dent in the side of it but nothing to major so the ambulance checked me out and made sure I didn't have a concussion or any other damage and then they let me go after making sure that the truck would work again. I started on the road again to only go to a nearby motel and checked in for the night.

August 30, 2019

The next morning I woke up and I felt still a little dizzy and started to wonder were the heck that car came from and why did it have to be me that got hit but before i started thinking to much into it, I shook it off and took off for lincoln city again. By this point I was in salem and I started to hear talking, I pulled over looking for what it could be but it honestly sounded like it was in my head. It went away after about 5 minutes and I just blamed it on not enough sleep. (1 hour and some odd mins later) I finally reached Lincoln City, it was about 1:30pm and I just wanted to get to the house and unpack so I could get settled in. I arrived at the house and I unlocked my front door and walked inside, and I instantly fell in love with the place. It was perfect because it wasn't to small and it wasn't to big. So anyways I unpacked all my stuff granted I didn't have that much stuff, but once I was done with that I went outside for a walk. I chose a house that was literally on the edge of the ocean it was so close I could walk out in my front yard and end up stepping in the sand. My house was held off the ground by the beams underneath of it because of the possibility of the water level rising, I don’t know why but that just made it even better. I started walking on the edge of the beach and the I seen her, she was beautiful I was honestly frozen, I wanted to go up to her and talk, or at least say something. Before I knew it, it had been 5 minutes of just standing there, frozen trying to build up the courage to even move any closer. I was looking at the ground playing with the sand with my foot like a 6 year old that is hiding behind her mom when he gets nervous, then all the sudden I seen the shadow of someone else standing in front of me. I looked up to see her, “hello” her voice was so calm I was rendered speechless, “uhhh.. H--hello”. I could feel my face getting warm and sadly it wasn't from the sun, she just smiled and slightly giggled before she spoke “so are you a traveler or a tourist?” I was still captivated by her voice get yourself together sam she's trying to talk, speak before she thinks you're a psychopath! My brain was all mixed up at this point so I spoke very quiet to where she had to lean in a little to hear over the ocean waves, “um well I actually just uhh-- moved here-- because -- why not heh…” she just laughed and looked at me in the face “ you're so adorable, very nervous. Im taking it you don't have a lot of random people walk up to you and start conversations?” “uhh no not really i'm more of the quiet type.. “ she smile again “ well my name's Felicity, Felicity Queen” what a beautiful name not realizing that i'm still in a conversation… then she spoke again snapping me out of my trance “and your name might be?” “ oh, oh sorry umm my name's Sam Wells.” “well Sammy how about I give you my number so that we can talk more and then maybe we could go out for dinner at some point?” I was frozen then I took out my phone and she put her number in it, I then decided to answer “.. of course, umm i'm really sorry i'm not a good person at conversing with other people especially when it comes to…” I stopped myself before continuing that and ruining my life. “Especially what?” she had almost a devious smile on her face now, “oh yeah I didn't mean to say the that ..” “sure you didn't, well I have to go but at some point I will find out” she smiled and walked away, my god… I felt like everything in me had melted and I was as red as a tomato from practically embarrassing myself in front of a really pretty girl, why life? Why do you have to suck so much and be such a goof??? I stayed on the beach for another hour or so trying to think of what even to say to her and what the heck just happened in that conversation, and then I decided to get home and cook some dinner, and then go straight to bed because I was exhausted.

August 31, 2019

I woke up and I was still really tired, then I looked at my phone and realized it was 4:53 am. I didn't get why I woke up and then the voices started again, the mumbles of random but yet familiar people. I didn't understand any of it and this time the voices almost lasted an hour after this I was certain I was absolutely insane. Be time the voices completely stopped it was almost 6am so I just decided to stay up and maybe go for an early morning walk on the beach, to hopefully clear my mind a bit. When I got on the beach everything seemed so quiet to quiet if you ask me, I just shook it off do to it was 6 in the morning. I kept walking until I found a rock on the side to sit on, once I sat down I felt my phone buzz so I pulled it out and looked, it was Felicity. The message read “hey Sammy, I was wonder why you're all alone on the beach? I mean you could've asked me to come sit with you.” I stared at the phone for a minute and then I looked around me, no one was even on the beach, anywhere. I started to have this bad feeling in the bottom of my stomach and I couldn't shake it this time, my phone buzzed again and this time I didn't even look at it, I got up and started walking back to my house. The voices started again but they got louder and louder the closer I go to the house, I wanted it to end. I walked right passed my house and stopped at the side walk right beside the highway, I looked at my phone and all it said was “keep walking sammy, make it all go away.” I had enough of the voices, the messages, they scared me and the things they said… they were a nightmare all on their own. I listened to the message to “Felicity” I walked right into the road. I just closed my eyes as I heard the horns honking and brakes squealing. I opened my eyes and I was in a the hospital bed, with people standing all around. I slowly mumbled and they all put their attention on me. “ what happened?” people were still blurry but I could hear voices, the voice of a woman began to talk “sweetie you were in a car wreck in portland and you went into a coma” it was my mother's voice “what are you talking about I was at my house in oregon and then voices started and I walked into….” I stopped and the fear came back to me, “ my phone the messaged, Felicity, the voices” my vision started coming back to me and I seen my mother and father standing there looking at me with concern. My mother spoke to me obviously trying to calm me down “ you're just in shock it's been awhile since you've been awake so you just have to take baby steps okay start with breathing and what are you talking about ogean? You've been here the whole time samuel I promise you.” “ I met someone and they told me to walk into the road so I did to end the voices” at this point I was talking so fast I don't think they could understand anything I was saying. My dad grabbed my arm “son just calm down maybe you just need sleep we’ll leave you alone so you can sleep, but before we want you to meet someone” they pointed to someone at the end of the bed and spoke again “ this is Felicity,’’ i seen her staring at me, with darkness in her eyes. “She's been helping to take care of you while you were out.” my eyes adjusted to the end of the bed and it was her, she had a devilish look on her face. My parents started out of the room and I tried to stop them, they left and Felicity came to my side and didn't say anything but she put her hand over my mouth and nose I struggled to breath and I had no strength to fight her off. Things started to get really quiet and the last thing I heard was her calm voice “See yeah later Sammy” ..the last thing

July 11th 2019

I jolted up and sat up in my bed, forced my vision and looked around, it was my bedroom. What was going on? Was it just a dream? More like a nightmare. I heard a knock on my door and it was my mom and dad they had a birthday cake and they started singing happy birthday when they seen I was awake. My mom came over to me and said “ are you ready for 18? You get to start you new life, you get to go to oregon like you've always wanted to, are you excited sweetie?” I sat there and looked at them dumbfounded then I finally answered “ i'm not, no way am I going back there”. My parents just stood there and then my dad spoke up, “son what are you talking about why?” “ Just trust me it won't end well.”

Entry one - June 3rd 2021

Hey, so I have a story to tell you, it's pretty weird so if your first thought is “oh my god this chicks crazy” don't worry I get it a lot and I even thought it at first. So shall we begin? I think we shall.

So to introduce myself, my names Pasley Daniels and my story begins with my new adventure to a small town called Silverton. It's located in Colorado and it used to be my dream place. I was born and raised in a big city so I never got that small community, love and share stuff, I know that probably sounds weird but in a big city whether you are in a crowd or in a small room with 1 or 2 people you feel so alone. It can be heartbreaking but nobody gets along very well where I'm from, I always got told that small town living would suck and i'd also be alone but I thought different, I thought that if I chose the perfect little town and the perfect house I would always have someone to talk to or to pass on the street without having to worry about getting robbed or worse. So from the age of 16 I picked out that perfect little town and I obviously couldn't pick out the house but I had an idea in my head. Little did I know I should have considered all my options before jumping into it.

I talked to my mum about moving out once I graduated and she obviously wasn't 100% okay with that at first but I told her that it is what I've always wanted and it’d make me happy, she finally agreed to it. So I graduated in 2015, I didn't have plans for college like actually going into a collage but instead taking courses online which seemed okay to me and I was lucky 18 when that happened so if my mum changed her mind (which happened alot) I could just tell her I can be on my own. It was about 2 months after graduating I started to look at the houses there and choose that “perfect” house, I finally chose, I chose this bigger sized house it had 2 floors and a basement along with an attic so practically it had 4 floors if you looked at it a certain way but I didn't really want to count the attic and basement. It was about a 6 and a half hour drive from where I was to silverton. I packed up all my stuff and started down the road.

After about 11 hours of driving I finally decided to take a break and stop at a small resting spot and take a little nap. I don't remember the correct time for it but I know it was pretty late when I finally reached Silverton, now the real challenge was trying to find where my house was. I thought it wouldn't be too hard especially since it was only a population of 631 people but nope I just had to choose the house that was in the absolute middle of town. So this town was really condensed together so moving around and trying to find my house wasn't the easiest thing i've done, but I finally did it. A light brown house with no real excitement or pop but I guess I called it home, the house itself was perfectly fine but the feeling I got when I walked inside was way different. It felt like I kinda got sadish mad, I can't even begin to explain how it felt, it was weird. I decided that sense it was late that i'd just lock my car up and unpack the next day. This house said that it would come furnished because they couldn't find anyone who actually wanted to buy it for some reason. I found it really weird but I wasn't gonna complain, I looked around a little and took in that I'd possibly be here for the rest of my life and if I would enjoy it I thought I would… boy was I wrong. I decided to go look at some of the rooms and try and find the room I wanted. I was the baby in the family so I never got to choose which room I wanted so it was strange actually being able to choose without being punched in the arm by my older brothers. I came across the master bedroom upstairs where I recalled from the previous owners pictures on the town's website. I was a bit nervous that nobody wanted this beautiful house or would even buy any furniture, it made me worry that something bad might had happened, but I never got told. I just tried to push away the thoughts, crawled in the bed, and fell asleep.

(4:51 am july 14th ) A sudden crashing noise woke me up, I sat straight up in bed and looked around the dark room. I couldn't see anything so I tried to stay as quiet as possible so that if the sound happend I could at least hear where it was coming from. It had to have been at least 5 minutes before I gave up and layed back down, the second I started to drift off again the noise happened again, I heard it, it came from the hall outside my bedroom door. After a minute of silence I was just gonna shake it off, but then I swore I could hear footsteps coming up to my room. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that much fear in my life, my heart started racing and it was the only thing I could hear, I was frozen, paralyzed in my bed. I heard nothing but then after a minute or two I heard a knock at my door *knock, knock* I jumped and didn't know what to do. Obviously I was convinced there was someone in the house like a robber or possibly a psychopathic killer. I was scared and all the bad things were running through my head like i'm not even 19 years old yet and I'm gonna die, I sat once again in dead silence. I was finally relaxing and kinda calming down when the door handle started moving and slowly turning, I don't know why but I got mad I think it might have been because whatever this was, was teasing me or more less taunting me. The feeling of fear was still strong but the worry of possibly dying slipped away just for enough time for me to get up, storm over to the door and slam it open. The second I did that my heart dropped when I saw nothing and no one. I stepped back in disbelief that for one no one was there and two that I was stupid enough to do that. What if there was someone there standing waiting for me with a gun or some crap. I closed the door again and then noticed a lock on it I locked it and sat on my bed and tried to understand what just happened ’“I know there was something there and I know now that if I ever go into a horror movie i'll be the one to be killed in the first ten minutes because I dont have the common sense to not open the freaking door if there's a huge possibility there is a killer on the other side!” I just kinda sat there and tried to piece together what had just happened. After this was all over it was about 6:30 ish in the morning I think i'm not sure it's what it seemed like, I ended up not being able to go back to sleep but at least nothing else happened. But I couldn't get over the fact that there were knocks on my door but the second I opened my door what ever was on the other side disappeared and I think that bothered me the most.

I finally decided to get out of bed around 7:15am so that I could do stuff I needed to do. I wanted to do some research on the house and to see if there was someone who passed away in the house or remotely close. I was honestly hoping not though because it was a nice house and like I’ve said it was my dream home. I decided to write down a to do list before anything else and it pretty much went like this:

-TO DO list-

Unpack all my stuff

Get it organized in the house

Go to the store and buy food for the fridge

Call mum and tell her

Text Wade (boyfriend)

Do some research on the history of this house

Figure out if i'm either crazy or if I believe in ghosts

So you're probably curious about Wade.. Probably not but i'm gonna talk about him any ways, so Wade is my boyfriend and he is diving up to the house now. He said that he would leave around 5:30am so that it wasn't too late when he got there so that he could help unpack stuff. Back in the big city he lived in the apartment above me and he’s been living in the same apartment complex for about 4 years. What I really love about him was that we shared the same idea and dream for the whole wanting to live in the small town and living in a cute small house together. Okay so enough about our relationship. I kinda wanted to put off unpacking at that point because of Wade not being there yet but I just unpacked the cloths and kitchen stuff so that I could move around stuff and start setting stuff up. After about two hours of unpacking it was around 10 don't really remember exactly but I got a message from Wade that Read:

“Hey babe, i'm about an hour away, be here soon love you!!”

I replied and hoped that he wasn't being his idiot self and texting while driving

“Okay babes, let me know when you hit town love you too!”

I set the phone down and grabbed my backpack from the kitchen table and took out my laptop. I still wanted to do a little bit of research on the house. I looked up the history of the town to see I anything on the house pops up on it. The first thing about the town news was something about the church is having a seance, I kinda just skimmed past that and then I realized what that actually said and I read the article on it:

“Come to our community church seance! It's at 12:00 am on the 16th this month. Wed like to have as many people as possible, you know what they say more the merrier!”

I kinda just sat there dumbfounded for a “what the actually__” my phone rang and interrupted me. I looked at the number and it was my mum

“Hello?”

“Hey sweetie, how's everything so far?” she asked with a sweet concern in her voice

“Well my town is having a church seance and I think they want people to show up so that they can use them as sacrifices.”

There was a long pause on the other end then she finally spoke

“ wait what?? A church seance? The crap is that? And sacrifices? You’re not going are you??”

I laughed a little bit at her reaction

“ no mother i'm not i'm not fond of the idea of being a sacrifice for some random church.”

“Okay good, so is Wade there yet?”

“ no not yet he's about 30 mins away now, but hopefully it won't be much longer.”

“ yeah I bet you miss him you guys never leave each other which i'm still a little upset that he let you go alone..”

“ mum he had no choice he had to work his last day and he knew I wanted to go, plus I wanted to drive and you know as well as me if he went with he would have driven the whole way, sometimes I think he forgets I like to drive to.”

Wade never lets me do something if he thinks there’s even a small chance that I could get hurt so I did find it weird that he did but i'm glad because it was an adventure.

“Well okay darling I have to go your brother just text and said he's going to try and jump into the pool from the roof and he wants me to video it.. What’s wrong with him”

“ okay mum make sure he doesn't break anything including himself, love you”

“Love you to sweetie and I will try”

I hung up and laughed a little and then my phone buzzed again and it was a message from Wade:

“hey, i'm in town and almost to the house I can't wait to see you.”

“Okay see you soon babe :3”

I put the phone back on the table and went upstairs to make the bed and make it look some what good for Wade. I went up there and closed the door .. ever since “last night” i've had the weirdest feeling of like… being watched or something, I grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it up when I set it down I heard the bedroom door handle start to turn and I whipped around, my heart started pounding again. The door slowly opened and saw him, Wade.

“My god Wade you scared the heck out of me!”

I walked over to him and hugged him tight, he hugged me back.

“I'm sorry love, I missed you tho”

“ I missed you too babe”

We talked for awhile, he and I unpacked a little more stuff and then I got to explain my morning and why I was so tired. Now Wade has never really believed in ghosts or any stuff like that so he kinda just thought it was all a dream. I didn't really want to try and explain more, I just wanted to forget about it and just assume that it was my imagination.

Wade and I talked a little more then we both decided to go to bed. As Wade slowly drifted off to sleep I stared at the ceiling waiting for it to happen again, waiting for more fear to arise in me. I waited and waited, I started to drift off asleep by mistake and then it happened. A loud crashing noise coming from the hallway outside our room, a loud crashing noise that brought back all the fear, that made Wade and I shoot up in the bed and stare at the door. I knew what was going to happen, more fear started to raise in me and I wanted to throw up. I looked over at Wade and he looked scared as well, he got up and grabbed the metal rod that was meant to hang in the window but we never got the chance to put it up. He walked over to the door and yelled “ who ever is there we have a weapon and were calling the police” things were so quiet, to quiet. Then my stomach dropped, I got the worst feeling ever, something in me was telling me to “Get Wade away from that door to get him to you before it's too late”. I didn't listen, I sat there and then it happened my fears came true. Wade opened the door and whatever the thing behind wa, it wasn't human, it was a monster. It reached through Wade, it put it's twisted sharp arm straight through him. I screamed. The thing made eye contact with me I went numb. What was it? It stepped in the room and it reached the side of the bed I was on. It reached it's hand over and placed it on me, everything went white and silent.

My vision was blurry when I came to. I looked around, it was my room, I couldn't hear anything. I sat up groggy, and looked around. I was alone, no monster, no Wade. I stood up and grabbed my phone it was 4:51 am july 14th. I saw a message from Wade:

“ hey love, going to head out around 5:30 ish. See you soon love you.”

I was happy yet confused by everything.

I guess it really all was a dream.

And that is my story about the house I met my biggest fear.

The End.

Hello, my name is Millie and I am going to tell you my horror story. I was about 22 when this happened, I had moved to New York when I graduated highschool and I got my own house, I didn't have enough money to pay for everything on my own so I got a roommate and I thought she was perfect. Her name was Clarisse and she was just the right amount of cheerful and just the right amount of humor, I met her at a work get together and she seemed wonderful, and it was a plus that we worked together. After about 2 weeks of her moving in I started to realize that she must have had a dark past, she would get calls late at night and she was always yelling and hanging up and then seeming really sad/angry. I talked to her about it a couple times and all she said was that it was some crazy ex of hers and he wouldn't leave her alone. I didn't really question it I mean we all have that one crazy ex, right? What I didn't know was I should have asked about it more.

After the calls to her stopped so I just assumed all was good and that there wasn't a problem anymore, either that or she changed her number I don't really know. About 4 weeks went by and everything was normal or as it seemed, until one day we both came home and we opened our door and the smell was like we were walking into a battlefield of death. There was dead animals and trash everywhere and the walls had writing all over it which most of it was unreadable but what I could read said “your mine” and on one wall there was a poem, it read:

“Darkness is climbing closer to me now

I reach for the moon, the only light left.

The colder the colder, the more still

I can't feel anymore, do I want to?

I want the cold, I want the numbness”,

It made no sense. Clarisse instantly went into tears and walked out. I called the police and told them what we had found and they sent a dispatch to come check it out and secure the area and make sure that the perp was gone. It took 4 hours to clean the place up and then it took another 2 hours, 50 cans of airfreashener and all the windows open to get the smell to go away. Later that night I sat down with Clarisse and I made her talk about her ex and what was going on.

“ I… he.. His name is Allen and we dated for almost a year but all the sudden he started getting angry and mean, he hit me over and over. I wanted out and so I broke up with him, he didn't take it well, at the time I was … I was 22 weeks pregnant and he beat me so bad that I almost died… I lived but my baby didnt, he was arrested and put in jail for a while and bedtime he got out I was already out of that town and now i'm here.” I just sat there and watched the tears fill her eyes I grabbed her and hugged her, I just sat there for a while, letting her cry before speaking. “I am so so sorry Clarisse, don't worry i'm not letting him hurt you, never again.” after she cried a bit more she went to bed and I stayed up and just talked on the phone with a friend of mine, in the middle of our conversation I heard a loud bang come from outside. I jumped and then went to the window to see what it was. I couldn't see anything at first and then out of nowhere this face in my window popped up and I screamed and fell backwards. I told my friend I had to go and then I shut all my curtains and made sure everything was locked I walked to Clarisse's room and not wanting to wake her I kept her light off, I noticed her window was slightly open but I just thought that it was for fresh air and I walked to her window, closed and locked it. I walked out of her room and closed the door behind me. Normally in the mornings Clarisse is almost ready and about to head to work sense she gets breakfast at the store before work so she normally is gone bedtime I get out of the shower. I got my stuff and went to work. Throughout the day I had a weird feeling but I didn't know what it was so I didn't pay any attention to it. At lunch time I went to Clarisse’s office to check on her and make sure that she wasn't still upset and stuff. When I got to it she was nowhere to be found and then after talking to people found out that she didn't even come in, this was when I started to worry because normally she tell me stuff like this or at least calls her coworker and tells him that she won't be in for the day. I went back to my desk and called her cell and she didn't answer, then I tried the house phone and no answer. I looked at the clock and I still had about 30 mins of a break so I decided to run home and check on her. I pulled into the driveway and walked to the front door. After unlocking it I kind of slowly walked in and called for her, “Clarisse? Clarisse are you home? They said you didn't come to work., is everything okay?” I walked over to her door and opened it, what I saw sent me into automatic shock and fear. It was Clarisse in her bed covered in blood with a slit throat. I froze and then looked above her on her wall, there was writing, it was in blood and the message stopped my heart. “Aren't you glad you didnt turn the light on?”

This is my story, my story about how escaped hell.

Hello, my name is Anatoly, I am 23 years old. I am also the leader of a very… I would say professional brotherhood but most people say a very very bad gang, we were called the Bratva which was just the same as the mafia but even better. In my defense we were very good at what we did, whether it was against the law or not. This all started when I turned 18 after my parents were killed by some crazed psycho and let's just say i wanted revenge and that revenge turned into the spilling of many innocent people's blood… Like i said, very very bad. Anyways that's beside the point. After being in prison for about 3 years when my punishment was life for the crimes I have committed I got an offer. Now this offer was presented by some russian scientist. They took me and 5 other people and told us that we would be granted our freedom if we could stay awake for 30 days straight, I thought to myself “easy, 30 days no sleep, I can do that and then i'll be free.” I agreed along with the other 5 men. They told us that they would dispense this gas that prevented us from sleeping, I personally thought that we would basically just be the test dummies for these guys, that's why they chose prisoners because if you are prisoners people automatically assume no one cares about you. I knew that something was wrong the second that they took us into the white cell we'd all be held in. The feeling of regret was starting to form in my stomach but I knew it was too late to turn back.

The first night was nothing just an odd feeling in my head like it knew it needed that sleep but it did not want it. The next night was the same I became more hungry, more awake but I did not realize what would happen in the near days to come. The others started acting different from me, they started to scream and walk back in forth in violent places that made it seemed like they could walk a literal hole in the ground, stomping, rocking, hitting, and biting at their own limbs. I then became terrified of the men and what it turned them into. It was only day 7 and the men looked like monsters. They never calmed down they never rested they never got wore out from everything they were doing. I soon started to feel more irritated at them and the objects surrounding me, I was starting to see two of everything and wanting to eat more and more food. I tried to fight it but it was there and it was screaming at me wanting to be set free… I suppressed the anger, the darkness, the monster. I tried my hardest to push it away to keep my sanity, I watched as the men deteriorated and soon went insane. I lost track of the days, I spent every second reading and trying to keep the monster in.

Then out of nowhere, 4 of them started to huddle around one man and started tearing at him with their fists and nails, they acted like animals. I turned away hoping that I wasn't next. Soon after about 30 mins silence fell and I think that was the scariest part, when I turned back all I could see was blood and chunks of skin everywhere, the remaining men sat in a line staring at the ceiling while shoving the flesh in their mouths as they started to peel off there own skin, mutilating themselves. I could feel the fear running through my thoughts I could smell all the damage they have made. I sat in the corner opposite of them and slowly rocked back and forth pushing the monster down and all the bad thoughts out. My mind started to blank as I concentrated on the freedom I will receive if I survive. I could hear a faint jingle of keys as the door opened to the cell, I looked over at the scientist as they walked in, they looked horrified as did I and they quickly looked around and noticed me. They simply nodded and ran out closing the door, once again the door opened and there were more men and they started taking the men out one by one each fighting against them wanting to stay in the cell because of the fear of the outside world. I wanted out of there I wanted to be free even if it meant I don't get my freedom I was done playing these games I was done being a test dummy. They took me out, the only sane one left but that did not matter if I was sane at that point or not this horrid event was not yet over. They took us to separate cells to sleep. I was afraid that if I slept the monster would come out but I could keep awake after we were moved. The dreams I had were terrifying let's put it this way I was a monster and I made satan look like a angle.. Yeah they were really bad but then during that day I started to see the dream in my head as I was awake, visions if I may. I slammed my head against the wall hoping the images would stop, they didn't. I layed on the floor trying to keep calm and trying to not be noticed, the last thing I need is to be put in a looney bin as well. It stoped and it grew silent, once again the scariest part of anything. My cell door opened with a slow agonising creep, it was one of the scientist with a gun. He pointed it at me and I put my hands up hoping he'd see me surrendering to him. He looked at me with shaking hand. “ you're a monster like the rest!!” I was confused and scared now and I slowly spoke with a trembling voice “ no no i'm not I wasn't affected they they were I promise i'm sane” he cocked the gun back and started to shake more “I can't trust you, i'm sorry” I closed my eye and then there was a gunshot, it was so loud my ears were ringing. I thought I was dead but when I opened my eyes the scientist was laying on the floor dead and who was standing in his spot was one of the prisoners that was in the experiment. He stated at me with a devilish smile and then slowly spoke, “come brother let us be freed and let us rise against the humans and be the supreme breed.” I was scared and confused I was for sure if I didn't move and follow him I would die, so I stood up and gave back a devilish smile. He turned and started walking down this creepy hallway hallway and then I realized where we were going. My heart started to race and pound so fast and loud I was for sure that the prisoner could hear it. He slowed down his walking pace and then stopped in front of a door, the door that was the entrance to hell or at least the door that lead to the creation of hell.. He opened the door and the blood and guts that was now new and fresh in the enclosed area was overwhelming and to be completely honest horrid and I wanted to throw up and I normally never get queasy over stuff. The sight of it made me turn my head, the other scientist were in pieces on the ground so I felt like it was helpless. I would say that maybe the guards will help but the guards are too chicken to do anything like one of them almost passed out because someone got stabbed during a lunch fight. So I felt alone and I could feel death coming closer not to mention the fact that I was trying to not turn into a horrible human eating monster. It was so painful trying to keep it all down, the fear, the darkness, the monster, I wanted to give in but I knew if I did I'd just be as bad as them. I had never felt that much fear. I noticed something on the ground so I bent down slowly, paying attention to the monster making sure he didn't see me, I put my hand down and saw the end of a gun, I picked it up and wiped off the blood and chunks of skin and pointed it at the back of the monsters head. I cocked the gun and then the monster slowly turned around. I looked at him with confusion and then simply asked “what are you?” he gave me the devilish smile again and then then said “Have you forgotten so easily? We are you. We are the madness that lurks within you all, begging to be free at every moment in your deepest animal mind. We are what you hide from in your beds every night. We are what you sedate into silence and paralysis when you go to the nocturnal haven where we cannot tread." He said it in such a calm voice it sent chills down my whole body, getting my answer tho I looked at him and simply said “you’re a sick son of a b****” then pulled the trigger. As I watched his body fall my mind started to blank again and I clasped to the cell floor and tried to fight it and get up but It was to strong so I pushed my sled out of the cell as much as possible and used the door to lift myself up, once I had done that I slammed against the door locking it, hoping it was all over. I gained up enough strength to get out of there I was wondering around hopeless for a while then I realized, there was no one else here, this place looked almost run down and abandoned. I was certain I had lost my mind and I was just hallucinating, the I finally got to the door that lead to the outside world. My heart started to slow and my strength came back and I used everything I had and ran out side. The second my weakened body hit the cool air I felt a huge pressure off my chest and head. It was so relieving, as I calmed down my head stopped spinning and I started to realize all the stuff that was happening and had happened was so crazy and horrible that I began to cry. I never cry but that was definitely something to cry over. I couldn't help but to think about the building being “abandoned” I wanted to know what it was and why it did what it did. I was so curious but I was also afraid of the monster in there and the one that was like 5 minutes ago crawling up me and trying to escape. What if I go back? Will it come back? Will everything be normal? Is this my escape? I was asking so many questions and all I kept coming back to was I was free I was out of that he'll and nobody was gonna stop me from running away. Well at least that's what I thought…

(5 hours later) I had walked from that wretched place and I had no idea where I ended up but it was a small abandoned house. I was at least away and hidden. Being alone at the time with no noise I began to think, what had just happened and why did the prison looked abandoned? I was going over all the questions I had previously asked. I was so scared but I was also curious. I knew that soon the news about the prison being a massacre would be blasted around the whole of Russia and after what I saw everyone would be pronounced dead or at least everyone that was on that level of the prison. I knew I would soon have to leave and possibly leave russia I mean I was put in prison for a good reason. But that doesn't mean I want to go back, just from the incident that happened I learned my lesson and I want to leave russia i've realized that this is actual hell. All night I had planned getting out of here then I remembered that I was the leader of the biggest brotherhood in all of russia. I rested for a bit longer, then I got up and started walking to the nearest local gas station I could. I found one, thank god it started to get cold outside. The bell rang and I opened that door and it looked empty, I walked over to the nearest shelf and found a bag of chips. Look after being in jail for almost 4 years I want some good food and anything other than stupid prison mush. I didn't realize how quiet it was till I started opening the bag of chips and then the eeriness of scariness hit my like a brick wall. I stopped and looked around from where I was standing and no one was in sight, I started to walk around the place trying to be dead silent. I looked everywhere and I couldn't find anyone anywhere. I stopped and thought about what was going on, “first the prison and now this place, what the heck is going on?” I was a little freaked out by this and a bunch of thoughts crossed my mind, “what if I did not escape it what if i'm in my mind and the monster took over? What if this is a dream? What if i'm still in hell?” I was starting to over think it all and I started panicking a little. I never panic over stuff but this for some reason started to get to me, then it happened, I saw something like a vision or an image I don't really know what it was but I was of me, as a monster like them. It went away and that’s when I realized it wasn't over.

I was getting dizzy again, I was starting to get the urge to go back to that hell prison. The visions were getting stronger, I struggled to get out of the gas station. When I got a little away I collapsed on the cold ground, gasping for air. My vision started to blur, then it all went black. I woke with a jolt and a slight chill on my skin. I sat up and looked at my surroundings, when I realized where I was my heart stopped beating and I felt like I was going to throw up. I was back, back in the place I never wanted to see again. Sitting right in front of me, the doors to hell. I was at the entrance to the prison. I got up and stumbled back words I turned to run and there it was again the prison, every turn I made there it was I felt like I was in a loop hole of hell. I stopped finally and stared right at the doors, I reached for the handle and pushed open it agonizingly slow. The second the door was open enough for me to look in I felt the cold scent of death roll out and onto my face. In the bottom of my stomach I could feel it pulling back and a voice in my head saying “ don't be so stupid, turn back!” but I knew I had no choice. What would you have done? I stepped in and a wave of warmth rushed over me, this made me step back a little. Honestly the place was now comforting, I didn't feel the head pains or the monster, but I knew it was probably hiding, waiting for me to get comfy and then strike but at the moment I had felt peace. I started down the corridor that lead to the cell. Something was telling me to go there. I reached the door and I could smell the death coming off of it, I stared at the handle contemplating it and I stood there frozen for a good 5 minutes before I decided to go for it and open the dang door already. Pushing the door handle down unlocking the door, without even a push the door creaked open sending chills down my spin. I couldn't see anything in the room due to it being almost pitch black in the room, I knew that there was no light switches or chains I could pull because I mean it's still a prison, in prison we don't get stuff like that. And now I realize that prisoners don't matter and things like this are done to them, who knows how many other experiments there will be and how many others will die at the hands of inhumane scientists that only care about themselves and their stupid experiments. At this point I was starting to get annoyed and anger so I took a breath in and tried to get out of my mind and focus myself on what needs to be done. I looked back into the room and then noticed a small red glowing light coming from one of the corners of the room. I knew deep down that it was probably just something trying to lure me in there. My curiosity kicked in and I slowly moved my way closer to the light. As I stepped in it felt like the room was a vacuum and my leg just got sucked in and soon my body would follow. My mind almost went blank in the room. I was expecting to smell that god awful stench of death but it didn't smell like anything but a rusty old cell. I also noticed I wasn't stepping on anything like bodies or blood… just a normal floor. I was a little curious to what was really going on. I had to be at least 5 feet away from the red light when I could see what it was, it was reflecting off of a cell phone. The light started to blink and then as I got closer it started to ring. I was sceptical about it but I bent down and answered the phone. “H-hello?” it was silent for a good 10 seconds and then this deep creepy voice came over in a slow manner. “... dont.. turn .. around!” my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach and I felt frozen, I slowly looked over at the door and I said in my head, count down from 3 and then bolt towards the door and lock it behind you, 3…. 2…. 1!!!. I went to run and then felt this sharp pain in my neck and I was out.

I started to feel this thumping run through my whole body. All I was thinking at the moment in time was that I was dead and it was over, I don't know why but I felt like it was so relieving, it was like I wanted it. The darkness started to feel warmer and warmer the longer I stayed there, I was starting to sink into it and embrace it. But once I finally get something i'm okay with it, it gets torn away from me like it was nothing, I woke with a shooting pain in my neck as I sat up in a jolt. I was in the cell, all the lights were on and it was brighter than ever, I felt like my eyes were burning and like I was seeing light for the first time ever. I looked around the cell confused and dazed. No blood, no guts, nothing that was considered a crime other than it was a blank cell, I finally turned towards the door and noticing that it's closed. I was curious what happened and what hit my neck? I felt on the back of my neck where the pain was previously and there was nothing there I figured that there would at least be a little pain there to what ever happened but nothing. I walked over to the door wanting out and I couldn't open it. At that moment I started to feel the fear and anxiety building in my stomach, it felt like a pit was being formed, I was hoping that this was a nightmare and i'd just wake back up somewhere else, no it was not a dream, I was trapped in the hell cell and no way out. I knew I couldn't panic because it wouldn't be any help so I sat down in the middle of the cell and closed my eyes wishing to go back 10 minutes before where it was only darkness and warmth. As I sat there, eyes closed, heart racing I felt a cool breeze and then something that absolutely terrifying happened: the sound of a heartbeat that was not mine and the breath of something I was unsure of right behind me. I pressed my eyes closed tighter and didn't move I could feel the fear growing in my stomach, that it growing larger and larger, I knew that this wasn't human I knew that it wasn't something I wanted to encounter, the sound of gravel laid beneath the things breathing, it was a harsh breath that sent chills down my spine and it crept across my skin. I didn't know what to do I was sure that whatever it was knew that I was afraid and aware of it's presence, I could feel and hear my own heartbeat it's was like it was ready to pop out of my chest. I sat there frozen, then started to think. “What is this thing? Monster? Animal?... the devil??.” the second I that crossed my mind, as crazy as it is, even tho this whole thing was crazy, what if it was him what if it was the devil? What if it was he and he was it? I mean this is hell and hell cannot be well hell without Lucifer. My mind got side tracked on the fact that I possibly have the damn devil behind me that I forgot that i'm in an enclosed cell with possibly the devil. My mind became noisy but the sudden push that caused me to hit the ground in front of me. I then turned on my back and saw nothing there it was dark. Once again my darkness was back, but something was different, I was not alone. I felt stiff and confined I couldn't move anything, it was like I was tied up. Then out of nowhere this light shot into my eyes and everything else got light. I started noticing things around me, started seeing counters and it looked to be a desk. I could fully see now and I looked down at my body I was tired to a table with straps so that I could not move. I was scared out of my wits and I started to struggle against the confinement, this voice then come over my ears like a soft blanket. “Hey hey calm down Theodor it's just me, Angie, you're okay.” then realizing that I knew who she was realizing that I wasn't who I was, the name Theodor is my name, my actual name. I am 23 years old and I suffer from schizophrenia, it's my disorder that makes me make up stuff in my head. I have once again forgot that I am not Anatoly but that I am Theodor. I stopped thrashing in my seat as all of this jogged my memory. I was calm then, cold though, I didn't try and escape I just laid there not caring. It used to be sad to me when this kind of stuff would happen because when you go through this it's like when you finally wake up into the real world you just want to go back but it's like building a house and living you life in it and then having someone pull you out of it, locking the door behind them and losing the key, to be never seen again. That's why it's so devastating to a person with this disease, but I have learned to ignore that and just lock the house and lose the key myself. Nothing ever bothered me after awhile of being locked away in a mental institution. You kind of get used to the coldness of reality and the warmth hidden beneath the mind's eye. People think i'm crazy because of having “split personalities” but I think it's fun and terrible at the same time. But tell me this, is it sad or scary that I am in complete control of what goes on and yet I still almost kill myself? I think it's an adventure to push myself to the limits and maybe one day I won't return to the real world, maybe i'll be stuck in my own little hell forever. Maybe it'll happen because they say “ones who die in their dreams, die in reality too.” So I might get lucky next time and let the monsters out. But just remember, the real monsters live in our heads.