dread

being

watched

eyes

everywhere

sweat

like

rhinestones

pressed

onto

your

forehead

you

thought

you

could

finally

make

a

sound

after

all

this

silence

but

the

sand

in

your

throat

is

just

too

much

Blooddrips on crosses & sharp claws on werewolves

Bright copper armour & scary fuzzy shadow creatures

Brown bits of hair~strands lying on the floor

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream-coloured glowing eyes & crispy charred bones

Chandeliers & chariots

& pumpkins with sharp fangs

Wild beasts that soar like shooting stars on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Warriors with weapons trembling from all the nightmares

Lightning that crashes burning some of them to the ground

Silver-white most of them look, they’re quite terrified

These are a few of my favorite things

When the gladiator cries

When the ground shakes

When I’m feeling mad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don’t feel so sad~

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kwN3LJdGyuU

#MyFavoriteThings

#TheShadowMan(c)

03/11\2020.

so cold and feeling empty

shaking shaking shaking

lonely breaths

echoing along

grieving cavities

signs of life

slow and seen only

through slow blinking

eyes, dull and grey

shades of color

only pressing close

cracking skin,

grey and bleeding now

error messages

red and bright and static

skipping over glazed

eyes and black screens

black ink scratching

over off-white pages

too small to hold the

so-large grief i feel

I AM SORRY

DIDN'T KNOW THIS

GRIEF

WOULD ENCOMPASS ME

S O M U C H

I AM S O R R Y

i wish i had great

things to say

wide smiles

to wear

but i don't but i don't

but i d o n ' t

i a m s o r r y

She holds tight...she always holds tight.

I lived, still do, in a multistory complex. The worst kind to be in during a fire. I may have forgotten the cause, but I'll never forget the girl. I tried so hard to pull her from those flames. When you lose someone, you are supposed to be able to move on. Though it is her who never really left my side.

I still feel her tug at my arm, she tugs at the one I lost. The one I held onto her so tightly with. She still has ahold from the other side. At night she gets angry, jerks and pulls at my flesh that burned away.

"Stop!" I shouted. Past midnight. 'How long has it been' I cry to myself. I still live in the same building. She still tugs away.

She'd pull me out of the building, then onto the street. Now she pulls harder, holds tighter. At night she claws, at night I weep.

"Please, I beg you, I'm sorry. Haven't I paid the price?" Head down she walks me out my door out onto the street.

She pulls me farther each day.

My feet stamp down onto a grassy edge: "Cypress Hills". A place I remember.

4 am: I follow her, I follow her always. She pulls and claws, we pass a sign "Cypress Hills". I wish that it would end. Will it ever end? It seems I lost myself ages ago.

She pulls, she always pulls. I see it, the gravestone.

Her gravestone.

I stop.

She yanks.

I pull back.

She claws.

I give in, I always give in.

I can see the stone, I look for her name...I only see mine.

I hold tight.

I always hold tight.

Countless moments could have turned things around and avoided this fate to which I'm bound

I should have stuck with the plan but instead I got up and ran

I shouldn't have had that last drink, why didn't I stop and think

I should have stopped when I said, but I kept going instead

But the should haves and could haves won't change my fate

The fault it was mine, which I will not debate

One thing they say is it's never too late

To makeup for the things of the past

They were wrong, this time at least

Tires screeching, items flying over head

No stopping, spinning around instead

As we roll over

and over again

And then...

Dead