sandcastles
she lives in a world of fiction, a universe of twisted truths and romanticized realities;
she’s a girl who lives hidden away behind book covers, in between italicized fairytales;
the clamor of society is drowned out by the lullabies of literature, by
the poetry and the prose to which she ever-so-tightly clings;
she falls in love twice a day, and once more in
the night, scrawling half-forgotten daydreams on her yellow walls
before they slip away, sand in between her fingers
pounded into castles, castles that will never crumble,
will they? with time, ignorance becomes insufficient,
imagination an illness, and dreams the
dust that has settled over
her right-side brain,
the sandy ashes
of her
soul
I Wish I Could Love You
The sky looks almost metallic from where I lie in the damp grass, like mercury
He lies beside me, blue eyes aimed upward like mine, a silhouette of perfection
We often find our eyes to the setting sky, searching it long, desperately
Never once finding it, whatever it is, making sadness fill us again
His eyes study me now, they do that sometimes, reading me
I wonder what he sees, does his mind show her?
Or does he see me instead? Broken and lonely
I know his heart rests not with me
Like his hand rests gently on mine
My heart rests elsewhere as well
I wish I loved him
I wish to lie
But I can’t
His hand
Tightens
Infinity
Every day is a good day when I wake up and see your smiling face
even when the smile is somewhat weak, the troubles deep, you are with me
although our bodies slow but steady decay give lie to our ageless feel
and the days behind are far greater than those that await us
we still have walks to take, sunrises and sunsets to share
hikes up mountains, swims in the sea, late-night star gazing
meals to make, cookies to bake, hot cocoa days
wrapped in blankets or entwined on the couch
drifting off to sleep, hand in hand
as I hope it will be
with that last conscious moment
as we two slip
from this existence
to, perhaps,
infinity.
supportive.
painted the window all the colors of my rainbow, left the ones that don’t matter;
first loves are hand-sewn disasters; bare hands can only collect so much glass after,
but my writer’s heart used fractured light from broken dreams to create poetry;
only shared with those who cherished worded cadavers, they’re a favored scarcity,
that’s when i found you, the silent collector of rewritten histories;
you made constellations out of my sharded stars; so easily,
it seems your praising me slowly rebuilt my fickle
dignity; so tell me, how’d you find me?
no, leave the heavens to assure me;
just note my love of receiving,
and the thank yous stumbling,
from my chapped audacity,
so utterly unbecoming;
yet, never
enough.
the blindfold
at the beginning i wasn't sure what it was my vision was blurred maybe because
i didn't want to see what was painfully obvious but it was something that
i had been avoiding for years i knew it was there but kept
pushing it away thinking that shoving it into the back of my
mind but one day i couldn't take it anymore so i
let it in & at first it did hurt it
hurt so much but eventually i healed i burned
but it was the most beautiful kind of
fire red & orange & yellow ribbons
sparks & feathers my tears were
liquid gold & i knew
in that moment i
finally knew that
i was
alive
stargazing
her eyes reflected sky when she spoke: nothing ever happens the way it’s supposed to
she never looked at me when she got metaphysical, but I looked at her.
i could hear her voice now, disapproving, that’s not the right word jo
but i didn’t care when she laid with me under the stars,
the tops of our heads touched and i felt little shivers
run down my neck and shoulders and pierce my heart
over and over and over again, my pupils dilating
i wonder if she shivers when we touch
you cold? she asks, lifting her head
eyes closed, i pretend to sleep
she settles back into me
i sigh in relief
just us two
under stars
together.
For my grandmother
As the years pass I have seen more than you can ever imagine in life.
I saw a maniac’s control over a whole country, you might know his name,
My school was bombed and I was alone, scared in a dark basement.
I was only thirteen, too young for the terrible times that awaited.
Afterwards, the world changed where I could communicate in minutes, hooray!
Then came these little flat moving screens, like mini TVs,
now this is all normal and at everyday life.
Just when I thought the worst was over,
came this pandemic eighty-one years later on.
May the peaceful years await me,
with my family and friends,
together we will wait,
until this ends.
To my
grandmother.
Shattered
Shattered, my heart became from the pain you thought was right to give to me.
Agony, I lived through day and day because I truly wanted to be yours.
Trapped inside myself, to afraid to run away from you and be free.
Confused and Dumb, How can I let you treat me this way?
Broken promises to change your ways and show me real love.
Blinded from the person I once knew and wanted back.
What did I do to deserve all this cruelty?
Look at me, really look into my eyes.
Can you not see what your doing?
Your Queen, your love but how?
Shattered, broken pieces scattered around.
Suicidal thoughts, easy escape.
No more pain.
Free me.
Shattered!
Writing
There is a universe inside my soul, yearning to burst forth in every moment here.
There are stars in my eyes, shining shyly, shedding light on the pieces shared.
There is a wind in my mind, whispering ideas and always making music.
There is fire in my heart, burning quietly with sparkling blue flame.
Rejoice! The entirety of this world lays bare before me now.
Possibilities stretch out before my feet as my endless road.
My words can move mountains and shake stony hearts.
My words can ease Atlas's weary weight but,
I have so much to do now,
And so little time to use.
Hopefully my universe sets fire
To other dreaming hearts.
Sorry, I've run
Out of
Time.
I was once lost, wandering the earth aimlessly and reaching for a hand to hold.
A blindfold covered my eyes, my mouth was sewn shut, forbiding all my cries.
I stumbled alone through the forest, catching myself every time I should fall.
Creeping closer and closer to a pit, I was destined to fall.
And I did just that. I lost my footing and plummeted.
Down and down I fell, begging God to have mercy.
What I didn’t know, was, there you were waiting.
You waited for me to come to view,
And you caught me, held me tight,
And eventually, whispered, I’ve got you.
It was true, you did.
You had me there,
Whispering the words,
I love
You.