Slay me with your words. Annihilate the very fabric of my being. I've been meaning to emphasize the import of meaning as a means of amending the syntacic meanness. Madness. And by "meanness" I mean please by all means do be sweet upon my mind's ears, you see, they lately have been failing of being able to make me savor any trace of such euphony. Let the symphony recommence, let the advent of any address apropos of the dress code to this digital address (following "the") be unrepressed, and for the love of (the) fucking press, DO press play, I beg you to abstain from "pause" or "rewind," and let us continue with minding our most verbal business. And madness, of course.
Wrapping
You wrapped yourself up in
Nice clothes
Hair product
Contact lenses
Good manners
Herbal tea
Perfect posture
Soft speech
Rapt attention
Quiet attitude
Then the next day you woke up
Threw on glasses
Brushed out bangs
Needily hugged me
and
Giggled
Yet you wonder why it took me so long to realize
How truly adorable
You are
I Gots Sumptin To Say
I have never been so discombobulated in all my life as I am right now. What with the pandemic and politics going on, half of which is a bunch of marlatkey. That thingamajig for a TV doesn't tell me anything new; it's the same nincompoops all the time spouting the news. Just once I'd like to hear or see the truth for a change. Maybe.
I get so flummoxed at times listening to one of these dingleberry wanna-be news anchors spitting out a bunch of hogwash and gobbledygook, I almost want to throw a whatchamacallit, you know that, that, oh, I remember now; tantrum. It's just a bunch of poppycock if you ask me. They might have bamboozled a lot of people with their persnickety reporting, but we all know they speak gibberish like nobody's business and the majority of people who listen end up being just like them. I should know. It was my misfortune to be stuck next to a chatty flibbertigibbet during my nightly bus ride home the other day. He couldn't have been more than sixteen, too. I was flabbergasted when the young whippersnapper acted as if he knew all there was to know. I listened politely, nodded my head, then when my stop arrived I practically ran from his still moving lips. I wasn't about to miss my stop and hear him muttering away and let myself lollgag away and waste my personal time. I did the quickest skedaddle off that bus like you have never seen before.
When I finally came home, there were a bunch of people standing around having a regular brouhaha about some doohickey thing that can drive itself these days. I think they call them self-propelled electric cars. Now them things, I wouldn't trust for one second. Whatnot with all the possibilities of saying, "Car, turn left" at such and such a street and end up in a real kerfuffle when the car ends up in a neighbors kitchen, or worse, their bathroom. Talk about being gobsmacked, and can you imagine the look on the owners face?
Anyway, on that day, when I was finally home, I had to face a situation I had put off far too long. I had an unfinished renovation project that had left the laundry room cattywampus; the washer and dryer were unhooked, the walls were unpainted and the sink was disconnected. I wasn't really in the mood for this but I needed to wash a few things I did by hand and afterward, I set up a makeshift set of tenterhooks to hang my clothes up so they could dry. I know, I know, I could use the laundromat three blocks away but I wasn't about to take the time ro whatits ... waste? The time it would take me to get their, wash and dry would take much longer than the time I used and the clothes would be dry in the morning. A quick ironing and they would be ready to wear. I'll do the washer and dryer tomorrow.
That crowd I mentioned, started getting really too loud and things looked like they might get out of hand. So I opened my window and told them to take their shananigans someplace else or I would call the police for the disturbence they were making. That made them quiet down. Of course that was just a bunch of codswallop. I'd never call the police on them, but the mere mention sent them off to someplace else to do their thingamajig. I doubt thay had ideas to canoodle.
They made me laugh a little. What a sight that would be. Half a dozen young men getting suddenly romantic with one another, but who knows? Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Not my concern but that sure would make for an interesting video to put on Youtube.
I need to have something to eat. I know just the thing. Sliced ham, some turkey, bacon, lettuce and a tomato slice on pumpernickel.
Then a shower and the news. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's all fake but I gotta get good lies from some place don't I?
Everyone But Me
Students.
They depend on me to teach them what they need to know.
They depend on me to identify when they need help with anything.
They don't understand how mentally exhausted I am becoming.
Friends.
They look to me for council.
They look to me for a shoulder to cry on.
They don't ask me how I am doing.
Family.
They say I am the rock.
They say I hold it all together.
They don't see the small cracks beginning to form.
Me.
My fire for life has began to burn dim.
I can think of no reason for myself.
I live for other people.
I’m Doing Great
I lie because there are no true words to describe the feelings in my soul.
No words to describe the tremendous amount of anxiety and fear I hold in my heart.
No words to tell of my over whelming sadness.
No words to explain that these feelings overtook me.
I lie because my face doesn’t match my soul.
I lie because I don’t want to be a burden.
I’m doing great.
*Recently, I have been having the worst anxiety, and writing about it and acknowleging that it is there helps immensley. Everytime I look at this short piece, it helps calm me a little bit.*
