A boy with hair of chestnut,

Galaxies in his eyes.

Each fleck of gold, a treasure,

Each wink is my demise.

Sun-kissed freckles dot his cheeks,

They seem to draw me near.

His orchid lips caress my own,

They taste of Butterbeer.

I’ve practiced what I’d say to you

A thousand times again.

I lie awake

In bed

At night,

Just trying to pretend.

“Maybe I’m not broken

Maybe I’m not a toy

Maybe I can just be a girl

Who’s lying with a boy.”

But I close my eyes

And try to sleep,

Fight back the tears

Falling down my cheeks.

I play again

The script I’d say

If I ever

Got up the nerve one day.

And even though I’m safe now

With someone who loves me true,

Every post traumatic stress symptom

Will always be because of

You.

He has murder eyes

His voice is a knife

Slicing through my abdomen

Slowly, slowly.

My ears ring

The warmth spreads

Through my belly

Slowly, slowly.

The dark creeps

Around my eye-line

Obscuring

Slowly, slowly.

His hand is hot

It burns my cheek

Hotter than the blood

Flowing, flowing.

I have a thousand words to say

But none come to my lips

To speak of things that hold my thoughts

And let my morals slip.

There is a boy

A man indeed

Who makes my heart revive

And deep beneath the sheets

We play

To make my body feel alive.

His fingers run the length of me

His eyes hold to my gaze

His lungs take in the breath I breathe

The him that holds me in embrace.

The words that echo

From his mouth

Play music in my ear

That races down

Throughout my veins

And fill my soul with fear.

Not fearful of the things he’ll do

Or fearful of the way he loves

Not fear for how he looks at me

But fear of what is next to come.

It’s been so little

And yet so long

Since he first caught my eye

Blessed with the kiss of death

The him that brought me back to life.

-Aspyn Leonardo

I dreamt of you.

You held my hand

And told me to kiss you.

I dreamt of you.

A mess

Of blurry tongues.

I dreamt of you.

My hands

Running down your sides.

I dreamt of you.

Your gasps

Echoing in my ear.

I dreamt of you.

Your voice

Telling me not to stop.

I dreamt of you.

The heat

Burning my fingertips.

I dreamt of you.

The air

Sizzling around us.

I dreamt of you.

The earth

Cracking beneath us.

I dreamt of you.

The sky

Opening above us.

I dreamt of you.

The gates

Locking behind us.

I dreamt of you.

I’ll never be able

to leave.

I dreamt of you.

A taste

will never be enough.

I dreamt of you.

I will

Devour you.

-Aspyn Leonardo

I saw her on the bus

And now I am in love.

I didn't see the front, mind you,

But enjoyed it from the back view.

Her hair was long and silky,

I could smell her sweet perfume.

Her legs were long and thick 

And her ass was like that too. 

The moment I saw her back

I could see our future clear: 

The children in their beds 

As she fetched me a cold beer.

I got up to confess,

Ready to make a show,

Till he turned around and asked me:

"Hey, what's up, bro?"

Do you miss me sometimes?

Because sometimes I miss you.

Whenever I'm alone

or find myself in a dark room.

My mind travels back to us,

Back to the days shared

and the days lost.

They say you never know what you have until it's gone.

I never thought they'd be right.

I was so selfish.

I was so stupid.

You were so sneaky.

We were kids.

We jumped at the chance to fall.

To let the warm water rush over our heads.

To see how long we could hold our breath.

Sooner or later the water cools.

Sooner or later we have to breathe.

I got chills when the water turned cold.

I wanted out.

You stayed.

You begged me to stay.

You said you could make the water warm again.

I dried off.

There's no point in staying in cold water alone.

So you found warmer waters.

Across the country.

I'll always have the memory of swimming with you.

I'll always miss you sometimes.

And sometimes, I hope you'll miss me too.

Lying

Trying hard

Not to let you know the truth.

Frying

My brain is frying

Trying to hide the truth.

Crying

My eyes are crying

It's so hard to hide the truth.

Terrifying

I'm terrified

Can't let you know the truth.

Buying the false words

Prying through my soul

Dying

Surely dying.

The truth is unsatisfying.

Retrying.

The sweat trailing down my temple.

The thin shirt plastered to my back.

The shorts riding up my thighs.

Anything to keep cool.

Hair tied up, neck exposed.

The sharp gaze of the sun, trying to catch my eye.

Each breeze that passed by, a blessing.

I could feel my shoes melting beneath me.

Each day longer.

Each night too warm for sweaters.

My boots collecting dust in my closet.

My skin changing to speckled bronze.

Begging for the sweet release of Winter.

Craving it's icy nails across my skin.

Lusting for goosebumps and red noses.

Wanting a reason to ask you for warmth.

Bring fire to my soul.

Set ablaze my heart.

Your icy touch compels me

To bring summer early.

Eyes like muddled pools.

Lips creating snowflake patterns

on my skin.

Your face a speckled canvas.

Your laugh a gentle wind.

Sweeping through my hair,

the ends tickling my neck.

Kiss me deeper.

Hold me closer.

Love me longer.

Your imperfections are perfect.