Letter In The Window Of My Mind
Will these words ever touch your mind, hold your heart gently?
Will you think me too pushy? Too quiet? Too shy? Perhaps I am.
When I see you, even if but a glimpse, I feel struck as if by a force of nature to just take you up in my arms and cradle you next to me. To hear and feel your breath across my cheek. To listen and rtemember the sound of your laughter. And if need be, to be there to wipe away your tears.
I don't say all this because I am lonely and starved for attention for I have many friends. I just don't have that one "special friend" I want to grow old with.
It's more than just sharing ideas and values; more even than making love no matter how passionate we may become. It's more about the knowing, learning, and placing our faith and trust in each other, and I so want to know everything about you.
I sometimes think, were I a rich man, you would have but only to ask, but I am poor, and you walk through me, and will never know the depth of emotion I feel. I guess in an ungodly way, I need to have you in my life.
Neither of us are true perfection and I would certainly never put you on a pedastal, but rather have us face to face on equal footing, supporting each other no matter the storm in front of us.
If by chance you find this letter, at least tell me true if you would be the half I am not without you.
A Long Life
I spent some time at the history library yesterday, reading what things were like long before science came up with a way to keep us alive forever.
Forever.
I was born in 2753 and look pretty good for being 247. My wife is 245. But, according to what I read, raising kids, working, wars, illnesses, and the government was a mess back then, but the one thing I found amusing, or perhaps interesting; the kids. When they grew up, they left home and made their own life. I found that rather intriguing. Since here, it doesn’t matter how old they get, they stay home, even after they get married. And thinking on that, I smile wryly and wish they would leave home. It would allow my wife and I some added privacy, something we don’t get very much of, since we have 3 sons and 2 daughters, add in three wives, two husbands and 14 more kids and you get the picture. Oh, and my wife’s and I, parents, and the parents who are now my in-laws. This is determined by range of income and year of birth. And since my wife and I are technically the oldest, and we bring in the most money, they all stay here. It’s like living with a village of idiots at times.
But there’s another reason for this. Since no one dies any longer, the population has quadrupled alone in the last seventy-five years. If I remember right, there is something like 800 billion people on the planet. Can we say sardines?
We all work, that is if you think getting on your video-wrist compact computer and saying two words, “Good Morning” is work. Honestly, that’s all we have to do to let the government know that we haven’t moved, haven’t taken on any unnecessary risks, fled to another country. And we get paid for it! Pretty simple way of doing things. Two words, seven times a day for $5,000 a week, and no taxes!
The wars ended about fifty years before I was born, and a worldwide pact was agreed to. Which, according to history, makes this the longest ever stretch of no one having to die defending others right to freedom.
Crime is at a dead end when I turned ten due in part to medical science creating a brain chip placed inside everyone’s head that does not allow the thinking process to commit any crime, large or small.
But I still like the idea of telling the kids to find their own place. Hold on a second, my wife has to tell me something.
Pause
Pause
Pause
Pause
Pause
Pause
Okay, just found out we’ll have two new additions to the household before too long. And I mean, soon. See, that’s another thing modern medical science has done. Accelerated the pregnancy from 9 to 3 months.
The more I think about living for forever, the more I’m thinking dying would be a better option.
Maybe I’ll just leave. Grab the wife and find a Motel 6 that has no kids and I won’t leave the light on either.
Infected
Infected
Doctor’s cannot do a thing,
x-rays show nothing.
I am infected.
My eyes are foggy,
my lips parched,
my flesh sweats.
Fever takes hold of me,
thoughts ramble,
I cannot think clearly.
No one knows what time is left,
completely caught in this contagious dilemma;
yes, I am infected.
The moment you looked at me,
the second our lips touched,
I cannot rid myself of you.
I will one day die, a happy man.
Past life of SHE
they say im all chopped up,
neck to ankles,
cause when life got tough,
my body would get mangled.
red pours onto the floor,
staining the wood,
marks down to my core,
pleasured smiles;
eternally misunderstood.
memories taking me down,
numbness is all that remains,
not wanted around,
happiness cant be attained,
i, never to be restrained.
shatter whats been broken,
SHE has rises and woken,
no exit,
Takes my place,
when in control,
its not me behind the mirrors face
Looking From The Inside Out
What is it there I cannot see,
what is it there that will never be,
is that a smile or frown,
a drop of sweat or a tear?
What is it there I cannot see,
is it my youth fading away,
days passed so far away?
Is it what I will never know,
to remain a mystery never to grow?
Will it ever come to pass,
staring at myself in the stilled reflection of pure glass;
or will it go the grave with me.
Matters not to do, but only to be.
Chapter Four
When Mallory arrives at the 1st Precinct, the two patrol officers escorted her directly to the chief’s office; the office’s located on the third-floor: Robbery and Homicide. As soon as she walks out of the elevator, she sees everyone standing up, in a way to show her their solidarity, utmost respect and deepest condolences for her loss. Under her red and weary tired eyes, she felt a sense of pride of her late father’s benevolence, and how much respect he has from NYC’s finest. This isn’t a kind of respect money or power can buy, but rather deeper than that, a different kind of respect that bonded her father’s reputation with the city.
Mr. Walter was everyone’s hero. He was a good citizen and a great Samaritan, to say the least about his character.
He was a pioneer of many charitable and nonprofit organizations. He was the main founder and donor of Bright Day NYC IT academy training school. The school’s main focus is teaching younger kids how to program at an early age, starting as little as six-years old. He believed that exposing children to the idea of technology earlier than later is very imperative, because it can change the course of their futures and our society.
Mallory wished, even if it’s for few seconds, she can tell him, how proud she is of him. But, she knows though, that was just such a foolish dream, and it was her grief talking, an illusion which shattered her entire hopes into pieces.
She thought of her little brother, too. He was just eleven years old. It still doesn’t feel surreal to fathom his death, especially his death, for a little boy his age, he was a rising star with lots of potentials.
He used to love computer programming, and was a good soccer player.
Mallory and the officers reach the Chief of Police Richard Gray’s office, which is on the end of the hallway, passed Jane and Dana’s desk.
His door is always open. But today, it’s closed, to contain his frustration of yelling on the phone all day long about the tragic news.
Richard jumps out of his seat, as if the knock on his door by the two officers startled him. He was on a phone, conducting inquiries about the Homicide. He looks pale and angry.
He ended his conversation, stating that he would call back at a later time, as he had another urgent matter to attend to. Then, he turns the phone off on his desk.
Following that, he goes straight to Mallory and hugs her like he is hugging his own daughter.
Her father and Richard were close friends, more like a family; like they were brothers; like he is better known as one of their best uncles.
She is the same age as, and best friends with his own twin daughters, which that even tightened their relationships further.
Their family’s friendship goes more than fifteen-years, and still counting.
“I am so sorry Mali,” he say, calling her by her nickname, and holding her tightly, and wiping off her tears.
“Thank you, Uncle Ricky,” she also calling him by his nickname.
They’re standing in the middle of his big office, still conjoined in grief and sadness.
“They didn’t deserve this Uncle Ricky, especially Patrick,” she says painfully sobbing.
From the corners of her jaded eyes, some tiny drops of tears rolled on her red cheeks, the only few tears left in her to shed.
“Patrick was just a little boy, and he had nothing to do with anything!”
Richard nods with agreement, and says, “I know Mali, I know!”
While still engulfed in Uncle Ricky’s arms, he outbursts.
“I promise you with my life, we’re going to get the son of a bitches who did this,” he says in a painful rage and agitation. Rage of furry still filled his eyes, he continues with a hurtful and saddened voice.
“Whoever is involved, even if it’s God himself, they’re going to pay for it.”
She knows he meant that with full confidence. He is very good at his job and keeping his promises
Before he became the chief of police, he was one of the best decorated detectives known to the city.
After almost twenty years of being in the law enforcement, he’s mastered all the skill sets needed, in addition to his naturally given instincts to crack any case, even the ones that went cold and dead.
She believes every word he says being true. At the same time, she also sees him trying to be a tough guy, and holding back his tears, which filled his eyes like a dam is about to burst.
She stares into his eyes, to tell him that he can let go of his tears.
But, he fought his tears hard, again and again with grits, like they’re Enemies of the State.
Then a moment passes by, as they were still standing.
After collecting his composure, he leads her to sit on the long dark brown leather couch in his office. Then, before he closes his door, he gazes at Jane and Dana’s cluttered desk.
He sees that they weren’t there. So, he shouts out for their immediate dispatch to his office.
“Where are Jane and Dana?”
“Downstairs Sir,” says officer Flint, who is sitting across their cubicle.
“Please, fetch them to my office, now!”
With that, Richard closes his door and sits next to Mallory.
Few moments fly by again as they moaned together. Then, silence fell in the room, like a dark shadow. They both understood what that meant, unwinding without saying any words to each other. So, they gave each other the breathing room, waiting for Jane and Dana.
Richard looks through the blindfolds, yet Jane or Dana haven’t reported to his office.
“You look tired Mali,” he breaks the ice. “When was the last time you ate or slept?”
She didn’t reply right away. She shrugs her shoulders and says, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe a day or two. Eating’s not been on my mind as of late.”
Mallory looks exhausted, and appears on a verge of collapsing, as she hasn’t slept or eaten for a while, since the bad news that altered her entire life.
As she leans back on the couch, he observes how tired she looks. He calls a nearby restaurant and orders some takeout food for delivery.
As soon as her head touches the couch, she begins thinking about taking the law into her own hands, and avenging her family. She wants to use her Cyber Security and Satellite technology, and find the killers herself.
But, then she thought about Uncle Ricky and interfering with the ongoing police investigation. Though she knows that she has all the resources to her disposal, she decides to let the police do their jobs first, at least for the first seventy-two hours.
One way or another, someone is going to pay for this dearly.
A minute later, officer Flint pushes away the piles of paper on his desk and rushes towards the elevator, to find the lead detectives.
He knows where Jane and Dana are, because he saw them earlier, when he came into the office. They met on the first-floor and talked a bit about the case. They told him they were heading down to the evidence room. He hopes that if they’re still there, he should able to catch them in time.