“what I would tell myself” in ten acts
I.
It's love.
Stop trying to deny it, to escape it, to make it up.
It's love.
You know, you should've loved her earlier. Then you would have had the pleasure of being near her all the time, the pain of being separated.
But you loved him, so I guess that's okay.
It's the same, right?
Don't try anything forward, though. In two years he'll forget about being scared of you, enjoying your presence, and you in general.
She'll remember up until today.
You're the only one who can make her happy, so start today.
II.
Push her away.
It's the girl who bugs you, day and night. It's the girl who thinks you're her best friend, when, really, she has no friends.
Push her away until she moves in a year.
Then you'll be rid of her, finally.
III.
Scream.
Scream your words out, let them flow
It's good for you, y'know
Stop trying to keep everything all in
The only way to conquer is to win
IV.
Take some personality tests. Real ones.
It'll help you.
V.
Go study a map. Then you can beat tests.
And make your teacher be in awe of you, not that she's not already.
VI.
Try to maintain your sense of self. If you don't, two years later you will wonder if you even had one. Or maybe you've just never thought about that. Try to figure it out.
VII.
Read more, write more.
VIII.
Sing already, goddamnit. Find your voice and start singing like a pro.
IX.
Try to get some treatment, if you know what I'm saying. If you don't, go take a mental issue test.
X.
Finally, just...never stop doing what you do.
Never.
she’s a-comin’
"'They're comin'!' she screamed, y'know, even though there was a rule not to scream. But Kristi screamed anyways, because who needs to follow the rules?
Gen' Mandy looked over at her, signalin' for her to hush up.
When Kristi continued screamin' her flimsy li'l heart out, she pushed her over the rail, then lectured us about rules and how one day, the monsters were coming back.
'Nobody's coming nowhere, there hasn't been a report for decades,' I said to good ol' Joe. 'Why this old tramp fort is still here, I have no idea, I tell ya, but it better be here for a good reason. Otherwise I'll throw that old gen' over the railing meself.' Ha, if only I knew that Gen' Walters was listenin', then I wouldn't have gotten ten lashes later." He lets out a huge, hearty, deranged laugh, then returns his colourful eyes to me.
"The next day, I watched as the first vamp vaulted over the wall, stretchin' out his flappy wings to steady 'imself. 'It's a message from our kin',' 'e said, lookin' all regal and stuff. Gen' Mandy stabbed him right through the heart and she punched 'im over the rail, just like Kristi. Then Gen' Mandy 'erself's dragged over by a few tentacle hands from the swamp monster that's sup'osed to live in the south or somethin'. 'Twas all a blur t' me, 'cause I was busy bein' knocked out in the 'ospital wing." He grins and points to a scar on his head. "Ain't it funny? I thought I was gonna be a hero until the day I died, but it turns out I died before I could become a hero."
He starts to disappear, thinning out. "I hope that answered all yer questions, miss. See you again sometime. Be waitin' here tomorrow, a'ight?" He grins lopsidedly, yellowed and broken teeth showing.
I wave goodbye to the old ghost, shutting my notebook. "Thank you for coming today, Mr. Brian, I look forwards to tomorrow."
Then he was gone.
