Cut your eyes so they can’t close

Remove your voice so you can’t scream

Carve a grin so you can’t cry

Remove your legs so you can’t run

Smile, look at what you’ve become

Fallen from sky

to

flame,

I adore this

tormenting

game...

Warp away my

unstable

essence,

Tarnish my life’s

vile

nexus,

sight,breath,touch...

motion...

seconds...

What monster knocks

at

Heaven’s Gates?

Tyrants and Devils

engrave

fate,

My yellow road

cut

short.

What more awaits

hollow

men?

My terrors grip

me

tightly!

These night terrors

tower

providence,

Days begin to

feel like

nothingness,

I do not

know

light,

Just songs that

linger

silently.

Who will I be?

If hell Is

free

then take me...

I bang this head against a beam

Anything to stop a scream

I knock this face against the wall

Hear it crack just like a doll

This shrieking in my head must cease

Then finally, some goddamn peace

I drop her body with a thud

In an icy pool of blood

Figures she would make a mess

I’ll clean it after I’ve had a rest

Maybe.

What could I do to push you away?

What would you do, if I hurt you?

Deeply

How could I shock you—with me?

How would it feel to be thrown away?

Again

How could I melt your smile?

How could I make you hate me?

Forever

Why do these thoughts keep blooming?

How come I can't believe anything lasts?

At all

#poetry, #darkthoughts

Stressful schedules, crazy commute

Loud voices

incessent noises.

If only the world had a button to mute.

If only I had a moment of solitude.

Be careful what you wish for,

it might come true...

the pandemic is at the door

don’t let it get to you.

If there’s one thing I know

it’s how little I know.

I built me a confining jail

only nature can post the bail.

I told you I'm no good,

But you didn't believe me,

And I had to kill you.

You never listen to me

And now you have no choice.

Since I have taken control.

Was it too hard to see?

I am worthy of time and love

You refuse to give to me.

Now it's all up to you

So make the right decision.

And I will make this painless.

What if... no.

But what if... STOP IT.

It's better not to think of these things.

To shove them into the pit of our stomachs, where we can pretend they don't exist.

Pretend their claws aren't carving away at the softest parts of us.

Oh, you say you don't have them.

Claim that my demons are not your own.

We both know better.

That moment, looking out from the balcony.

You wonder what would happen if you were to lean just a little further.

The way your fingertips carress the edges of kitchen knives...

lingering on the metal for just a moment too long.

And if you were to turn the steering wheel an inch to the left...

No.

These thoughts are just daydreams,

born from a curious mind.

That's all.

Sometimes

I wonder.

if we were alone

just the two of us

if you saw it all fall down;

how fragile it was-

how long would it take you

and that pretty little mind of yours

to s h a t t e r

at the incomprehensibility of it

all

It’s a Quiet Death under a Silent Breath.

Twist, shake, rip, shock, break

No one knows because they don’t want to

like shielding the sun from your face

Wouldnt believe it if I told you

Tried a million times

They make me into something sick with something to prove

Woulda been better if I hadn’t killed myself when I turned red

Woulda been better if I just learned to play nice and be friends

I love them too much

If I just agree, this will never end

If this won’t end, I want to end

Let’s pretend.. Let’s pretend..

I'll give you a peak inside my head.

I'll lay down soflty in my bed.

I'll close my eyes,

and let you look inside,

because it's too painful for me to show you myself.

Skin tingling..

Excitement takes over.

They dance and dance

to their favourite song.

Words exchanged

and nothings wrong.

That's when it starts

that night of hell,

tears ebb and flow and start to swell.

He kicks and screams,

until he can't anymore.

Eyes darting, jaws locked.

He's lying there upon the floor.

They come and they try to help,

hands thrust on hearts,

trying to save the day,

but there is just no way,

to bring him back from the brink.

He's gone, I hear them say,

and my heart, it just sinks.

He's dead and he's lifeless and

you won't understand until youre there.

My brothers arms,

wrapped around me in despair.

what do you do, when love just slips away?

You cry and you cry,

all night and day.

Fish eyes peak out from beneath his lids,

snaggle tooth pops out from his lips.

He'd hate this, you think,

and they struggle down the stairs.

His hardened and heavy body,

dragged like nobody cares.

Endless grief takes me over,

I'm a shell of a person

reliving that night over and over.

I'm diffferent now.

I'm not the same.

Death of a loved one changes you,

again and again.