I should have known better
I should have known better than to dance in sunlight while you cowered in darkness.
I should have known better than to bathe in love while you shivered in hate.
I should have known better than to follow my dreams while you were stuck in your nightmares.
I should have known better than to leave you all alone.
TUMILO
- ‘‘I should have known better...than to think I could trust you!’’
Ken ducked his head right before the blade came almost close to his face. He tried to speak calmly, but he knew Tumilo was ready to have his head.
- ‘‘Look, I had nothing to do with Jay being taken away. You have to trust me.’’
Tumi turned around. She charged toward Ken who was making his was toward the back door.
- ‘‘You’re not going anywhere, Ken. Not until you explain what happened to Jay.’’
He faced Tumi. Ken sighed and felt tears well up in his eyes. He hoped she would listen to what he had to say.
- ‘‘There was too many of them. They burst through the front door & rushed to grab the kid from his room. They had someone leading the group, and she....kinda looked like you...actually.. She had total control over me. I couldn’t move at all.’’
Tumilo raised her sword and then let it drop to the ground. She fell to the floor. Then hit the ground with her fists.
When Tumilo rose from the floor— and he saw the cracks that she had made—Ken gulped. Thank goodness she had taken out her anger on the tiles, and not his face.
-‘‘Where are you going?’’
Tumilo-‘‘I’m going to get my little one back.’’
Ken took a deep breath and gave a slight nod. He backed a little further away from her. She was like a ticking time bomb. The group that had snatched Jay away had no clue how far Tumilo would go to save her kid.
#TUMILO
7th May, 2020.
(Thursday)
empty
forehead to forehead
you pulled me close and
made sure my skin would
never forget those impatient hands
made sure i was blind to the hunger in your eyes
but as it always goes
one day we were close and the next
we just weren’t
after chewing me up you
spat me back out
now nights are spent
repenting
and telling myself i should have known better
already aware that
even starving men
get tired of the same
damn flavor.
God Damn
I should have known better than to sit down at your lunch table. I should have known better because I always know better. I always know better but not this time. So that fucking sucks.
But, I had a chance to save myself when you asked me and her to hang out with you at the park after school. I should have known better than to say yes. I should have known better than to go even when she said she couldn't make it. I always know better than to do shit like that. But not this time. So that's a fucking bummer.
I should have known better than to skip biology with you. I should have known that it was a gateway to falling in love with you. I should have known better than to forgo the promise I made to myself as a freshman - I would never skip class, it would stress me out way too much - to spend a moment leaning against your shoulder and passing a dab pen back and forth. I should have known better, I thought I knew better - but I guess I don't. That fucking blows.
I should have known better than to kiss you in the backstairs during lunch that day. I knew that that was all it would take to get me hooked on you but I did it anyway. I thought I was stronger than the feelings I had for you I should have known that I wasn't. But I didn't. So that was a bitch to deal with.
Now I know better but it's entirely too late. Not I know better than to sit with you, to be at the park with you, to skip bio with you, and to kiss you. Now, but not then.
Even my parents warned me against you.
He's a self-centred, aggreviating bastard, they said.
He doesn't care less.
But I thought you were different inside.
And you were, just
Crueller and colder.
More shut off to me.
I loved you too blindly,
so it hurt
way beyond your emotional capacity
That I thought was more than a teaspoon.
I should've known better.
I should've known that you would even take pleasure in
hurting me, breaking me,
And the silence finally speaks louder than words;
but not in a good way.