the assumption that big bird is the key player on the ’street is just insane.

you only need to take a look at Elmo, to see what danger is in flesh and blood. check out those intense, forward-facing eyes. stereographic vision. definitely a predator. the fact that he acts cute and talks in a high-pitched voice, does not mean he has no fight in him. even gonzo and all the chicken WITH Mrs. piggy combined can’t hope to make a dent. just carnage. and Elmo is one of the weaker on the crew.

do i even need to say anything about the cookie monster?!

what could the muppets throw at this guy? the Swedish cheff? the pigs in space? even Mr. T didn’t mess around when he was the guest.

no. Mr. T was all friendly over there, knowing full well what horrors await those that are not. pity the fool who doesn't know.

in contrast, oscar is grouchy. but he can afford to be. in a street where being nice is a survival skill , you better keep the peace. don’t want anyone getting bloody. and yet oscar carries his nasty attitude openly. it speaks of confidence. he doesn’t even worry and for a good reason. he has tons of broken bottles and a very pretty collection of shivs he spends his time fashioning. and all rusty and infected with all kinds of stuff..better keep away. far far away..

The Count does math. what else does it do? you don’t want to know. trust me. drinking blood and perfecting a bela lugosi impersonation is the least of it.

now there might be some problems with Fozy.That guy is dangerous.

i won’t lie, it’s going to be gruesome. but sacrifices need to be made. here, big bird will be helpful. Fozy will have a hard time getting around her. he might win, but it’s not like he would be able to help anyone else after that. a lot of rehab...well, if he survives.

you also need to consider, that if the truce of Hensonland is broken, how would other gangs play? you think the Fraggles are going to sit it out? or the Gorgs? will the Ewoks miss a chance to get someone to sacrifice? those inbred monkeys are just waiting for an excuse. so what keeps the greater peace over there?

fear. that’s what.

seseme street is a perfect example of deterrance. no one dares to do anything. everyone plays their games, have some fun , but know where the red lines are, and to absolutely avoid crossing it.

i will not pretend that this is something i wish for. peace and tolarance is the greatest message that comes out of seseme street. but they are also very insistant on the idea of coming together and giving support. and these are a bunch of co-existing mutually supporting carnivores. do you really want to send against them a loosly organised and poorly led bunch clowns?

now, i see the only hope for the muppets, is some kind of a surprise attack. get those Sesemes after a birthday party or something, maybe get the gorgs along for some more muscle. but i doubt they will manage such a tacticlly complicated move. plus the fact that Waldorf is so obviously a seseme street mole. this guy will just call his handlers (B.&E.) and tells them all about it.. why do you think he’s so sarcastic? it comes from immense bitterness and conflicting emotions.

well, Bert and Ernie keep an eye out on a lot of things from their home. maybe they are watching you right now. they don’t like it when someone stirrs things up...

Muppet show wins, hands down.

Why? Let's look at the characters, shall we?

Big Bird? What a wuss. He’d not stand a chance against Snookums. After all, Snookums is one of the many giant-sized monsters. Combined, they could easily take out Big Bird and Mr Snuffleupagus.

Ah, I hear you say, what about a battle of grouchiness? Surely no one can out grouch Oscar?

I think we’ll have to disagree on that point.

Statler and Waldorf would easily beat Oscar on both grouchiness and sarcasm.

Battle of the weird? Gonzo vs Grover, there, I think... Gonzo wins. Not only does he have an army of chickens to back him up, but he also has an affinity with high explosives.

Corny jokes? Who could beat Fozzy at those? Certainly not Ernie. Bert might be able to help Oscar with the grouch competition but they still wouldn’t stand a chance.

The count? That one’s more tricky. He is, after all, a vampire. I suppose Sam might be able to carry him into the sunlight. He is an eagle after all. A very patriotic and standoffish one.

Elmo? Even Robin could beat him up.

As for the rest, have you seen the opening sequence of the muppet show? They easily outnumber the Sesame Street muppets.

Of course, Kermit's exempt. He's an active participant in both.

Wouldn't be fair to force him to take sides.

How I long to reap this treat! 'Muppet' versus Ses'me Street?!

Yet I can’t get in the groove, feeling it, making it smooth.

I am no critic, you see, much as I have tried to be.

Most actors in BOTH of them? Played by nearly the same men?

I am long on admiring, short on finding shortcoming.

Who did not LOVE Sesame Street? I would never miss a beat.

We would watch it on our couch, laughing at Oscar the Grouch,

Hypnotizing by the Count, Mr. Hooper’s hose - a fount.

Everybody was so hip. Bob; Maria, what a pip!

Some were irritating, yes. Cookie could be quite the pest.

Bert was stuffy, so annoyed. (Ernie was a hemorrhoid.)

But we love them, nonetheless; Big Bird, too, I must confess.

I don’t know 'Muppets' that much. Piggy, yes, Kermit, and such.

I could wax more eloquent on a certain stalwart gent.

Mr. Rogers was the man! Was he just an ‘also ran’?

Captain Kangaroo was cool! Mr. Greenjeans ain’t no fool.

Then there was variety of Electric Company.

It delivered rhetoric, splashy, bright, copacetic!

Zoom: Z, double O, M, (beat) Boston Mass, Oh, (rest) 3, 1,

(rest) 2, 4. 'Twas not a bore, always left us wanting more!

Will I have to pick just one? Sesame Street was oh, so fun!

And its run was rather long, reruns helped, AND its theme song!

Elmo dancing with Ellen, still can bring nostalgic yen.

Animal is just berzerk! What, a nutty, furry ... jerk?

Is he, now, a berzerker, Terry Pratchett’s war-worker?

That’s the only way I see 'Muppets' making history.

They’re a bright flash! ... (in the pan). Sure, I'll watch them ... when I can.

Can you TELL me how to get? … Sesame Street is a sure bet!