monday

start the week off right

i am a solid yellow

trying to set the mood for the week

tuesday

i catch a glimpse of your face

and the good mood starts to fade

i'm left at orange

i can come back from this

wednesday

same as tuesday

burnt out, burnt orange

social interaction is draining

the day is longer, more drawn out

thursday

i start to turn blue

nothing is exciting or happy anymore

i just want the weekend to come faster

friday

i'm gray

numb to the world

i don't feel anymore

just long to be alone

under the safety of my covers

but somehow it still brings me back to you

Dark as night, though not quite. The color of darkness, death, and throws of evil. Bad omens wear it, the monsters of children’s dreams live in it, death is it. Why is such a wonderful color, or shade for those whom are picky about that, become the bearer of such horrible things?

Through the black of night we see the bright shining stars and glowing moon, highlighted and complemented by the sky’s darkness. The dark feathers of crows and raven, glistening beautifully like obsidian in the sky. The reapers and those of death do not harm, they wear clothes of mourning as they bring the souls from mortal plane to their resting place.

The color of calm, the color of rest, the color of final peace, the color of grounding, the color of so many things. Too many things one might think, but it is the perfect color for all of them.

Well… perhaps it is the perfect color. Who knows? I don't. Or do I?

Rushing and hushing

Bold and bright

Warnings they blind me

I can't put up a fight

Mom lays me down

She asked how I felt

"I feel YELLOW"

Then she let me melt

Dad checks in after

He won't look me in my eyes

"I see YELLOW"

Cautioned of the lies

I am yellow

It's splashing in my head

Spill out my anxieties

Until I am dead

When I was in elementary school and my teachers would force me to share my worst fears with the class, I always answered "red".

No, I'm not afraid of blood. That would be stupid, because to be afraid of blood would be to be afraid of something that's allowing me to breath right now.

No, I'm not afraid of the terrible weather predicted by tacky radars. That would be irresponsible. Weather is inevitable and weathermen are always wrong.

No, I'm not afraid of makeup. That would be ridiculous. I don't even wear make up.

No, I'm not afraid of roses. That would be useless. Roses come in all sorts of colors, despite what fairytales wish to believe.

No, I'm not afraid of sunsets. That would just be plain dumb. What have sunsets ever done to me besides inspire?

No, I'm not afraid of stop signs. That would be strange. Stop signs save the lives of anyone who bothers to read them.

But yes, I'm afraid of red, and that's what I said.

But what always stumped me, what always silenced my soul into deep thought and confusion, was when they asked the simple question, "Why?"

I never had an answer.

How I shall forever envy those that find solace in such a common and popular color. To others, it shall bring freedom and inspiration, perhaps even boldness. However, to me, I could only find uneasiness and despair.

Cobalt is by far the worst to come of this primary; my eyes see it better than any other. When I see this color, my eyes must strain, causing discomfort and anxiety, especially if it's light! When it reaches my vision, all other colors fail and appear darker; everything is reduced to a mere fragment of what it once was to surrender to this blue. I cannot discern shapes and shades within this hue, it all just appears blue. How irritating and vile it is, especially with it being a popular color of light. I remember beholding a lad at a counter in North Carolina, rather attempting to, only to have his being replaced by a silhouette, features disappearing yet still resembling a person, a shape that had surrendered to blue. Such a harsh, unforgiving, and territorial color.

The sea, how it brings such comfort and tranquility to most. Yet, whenever I'm in its presence, I can only feel fear and dread. It wasn't the fact that I couldn't swim nor was it the fact open sea was vast and unfamiliar; despite not having much to go off of, I fear the shade of the sea. My heart would act up and so would my mind; how I feel I'm being watched! The crashing of the waves bring about fear and edginess that I cannot shake, especially the grip that seizes all in its wake. I remember a drunken family member taking me out to open water; the only thing between us and the sea being a sailboat of all things! The waves would spill into the boat as if beckoning aggressively to us. And so to the bottom of the boat I had to retreat.

To others, warnings come in shades of amber and perhaps yellow. However, for me, it's a blue world devoid of other warnings. Never trust a lad in blue, a sky without a cloud or a flicker of cobalt.