I seriously considered the day behind me.

I mean—seriously—did the shrimpy, obnoxiously red Kia Forte have to jump in my lane at the last possible second, forcing me to slaughter my new brakes and throttle coffee into my chest? It’s not as though he didn’t have time to get his caboose into the lane behind me. Footballs fields of glorious empty roads stretched behind my own tail-end, but apparently that wasn’t action-packed enough for Mr. Forte.

Then, as I calmed myself enough to walk into the office, my ultra-serious boss decided to hold an ultra-serious meeting. His deadpanned eyes met my grim ones, his stern line of a mouth said, “I want you to give the presentation today instead of Wednesday. The big boys are here. Be ready in twenty.”

My day got a whole lot more serious. I nodded dutifully, nervously, and gravely. The presentation in question, at the moment had no slides, only verbatim. Minus the very important conclusion.

Those next twenty minutes were spent writing and drawing on scraps of poster-board within my office. My computer, the usual mechanism for slide-creation, was due for repairs on Tuesday; today was Monday. It was a very serious situation, but resulted in a less than adequately serious presentation.

My boss’s countenance assumed an uncharacteristic vermillion, a seriously agitated quality. “Why are your slides on poster board? This isn’t the elementary school craft fair!”

My voice ceased and lips began twitching; control over my expression was relinquished. I thought of the Kia Forte, risking life and death for a thrill.

“Merida! This is a very serious presentation, this is unacceptable…”

My voice decided to revisit me just then. “With all due respect, sir, you are a very serious pain in the…”

Driving home, newly jobless, I approached an intersection, cut in front of a Sedan, then totaled my car.

As I considered these events more seriously, my decision seemed less appealing. Perhaps some things, such as cars and jobs, were serious for a reason…

I’ve been through some interesting times. In the time I’ve been alive I’ve noticed one thing, when things get stressful might as well laugh. Anything can be a joke if you want it to be. Like that one time my grandma got blockaded in her falling apart house after one of many hurricanes. She was declared missing until found days later hacking through some trees to go to the supermarket because she NEEDS HER COFFEE. After sweet relief flooded in knowing she was safe, The humor of the whole thing set in. Everyone worried constantly over nothing but here we have an old lady who refuses to be limited by her situation. She wanted some damn coffee and she got it. Even told the story laughing over the phone. We get so caught up in our current situation we forgot to stop and see the humor in situations. We’re all alive for yet another day. I mean...looking back on days I thought we’re terrible I find the funny in it now. Like that one time I was a kid and trapped in the middle of the ocean with my parents in a sinking metal boat during a thunderstorm with no sight of land. This happened twice. At the time it was terrifying. But looking back, it was so absolutely idiotic we were even in that situation it’s funny. Laugh at EVERYTHING. In the face of danger, in sadness, in the good times, just laugh. Make a joke of the situation. It’ll make it easier for yourself and everyone you’re with.

Penises and pencils

Quills and pens

One righting shlongs

The other writing tens

Never confuse a penis

For that of a pen

One writes in white

The other (I repeat) in ink again

Don’t be led by the lead

By the pencil I said

Or be led by the penis

Though you might think her Venus

If this makes you mad

Then, my friend you’ve been had

Because my goal for a while

Was to just make you smile!

(c) BAM

Seriously devoted to eating giant banana pancakes, researching homemade rabbit costumes, and thinking about the faces people make during sex. Seriously engaged in irreverent bathroom stall philosophy, in leaving drunk voicemails, and watching awkward flirting in the wild. Seriously invested in hanging by my fingers from this tumbling little planet as it zooms through the cosmos. Serious is as serious does, after all. 

Why so serious? Please tell me you did not just ask that to me.

Why would you expect me to be anything else? Give me something to smile about, and then maybe we can have a conversation.

Although given the fact that entries for this challenge do not close anytime soon, I am guessing you will have a difficult time with this.

"Why so serious?", they ask.

I have shared so many reasons,

Told too many excuses,

But I have more.

Which one to choose, 

After all,

This is my big decision for the day.

Maybe I'll make something up,

Like I always do...

I'm moving,

My brother was hit by a car,

My parents are splitting up... 

Or I could tell the truth...

I'm terminal,

I have two months to live, 

And I'm spending it at work,

With you people who don't care enough to ask if I'm okay.

But...

"I'll be fine",

I say,

In response to the question,

But not the one they asked.

Who is the man that sits softly in the night?

What is this feeling that stirs inside?

Where did my soul get permission to dance?

When will it propel me forth to act?

Why must I suffer this passion inside?

How can I fight it? Can I deny it?

The passion inside stirs forth, a volcano.

My body propels forward.

While my mind’s screaming “hell no!”

Deep inside I can’t fight it

I must love and let go. I can’t deny it.

Passion is nature’s distraction.

Have you ever heard of the voyager? a space craft made by humans that has made it to the farthest depths of human endevors. It is the first craft to have reached interstellar space. When the voyager took a picture of earth we looked like something of a dot. Just a little dot that no one else in the universe would care about other than us. so why would anyone worry. we're so small, a speck of dust in the middle of a great nothing. We spend all our lives being safe, paying for things; houses, clothes, shoes, cars, insurance. But what for? Everything we ever do is so that we can relax in our final years. Why? Why not enjoy what you do now? make the best of what you do. Why settle when nothing really matters. If you were to be immortal and sitting on the voyager on a great journey eventually ending up somewhere else, would you care anymore what you would have been doing on earth? No. So why be afraid of what you really want to do while your on earth? make the best of what you love and make it happen.

#makeithappen

Why is it when someone says "get help, nothing bad is going to happen if you do" and you end up getting help and then all of a sudden BAM!!! You lose your car, you lose your job, and your about to lose your house, but you'd think hey my family will stick with me until you find out your spouse has been cheating on you. So in other words your life sucks so you end up using that helping hand, and when you did everyone thinks our the bad person well no wonder people are taking their lives rather then getting help because its a lose/ lose situation. Now I'm not saying every situation is like that but there are some pretty nasty ones out there and instead of hiding it we should embrace it, that way those who fall to the bottom are congratualted when they hit the top. I myself have been to five rehabs for depression and I've met them all addicts, alcholics, suicidal people, sychosphrenics, you name it and these are people like everyone else who just had a really crappy things happen to them that triggered a domino effect. Now again not saying that every situiation is the same becuase there were those people who said F** it thats what we would call "to far gone" but it was the people who were begging for the help that kept getting all the bad breaks, so honestly, lucky or unlucky it dosent matter just dont treat people like they're the scum of the earth becuase they say they want help.

Seriously, why do my typing hands not do something nonsensical for a change? I'll be like Dr. Seuss and create species and for the species, names. My mind reminds me to stay on track, but as you can see, I'm no Jack Black! Testing my patience is seriousness, it's about to go to my head. Someone or something, tell me why I'm so serious, and how to stop this dread!