Words will never explain what it's like to watch your best friend die in your arms. You're doing everything in your power to stop him from bleeding out. Telling him that it's not that bad and he's going to be fine. The truth is, in the back of your mind you know he's dying and your trying to make his final moments on this wretched earth peaceful. Every single day that goes bye, I think of you. I think about all the good times that we've had together and the bad. I think about your wife and your beautiful baby girl. I think about how I wish it was me. I have nothing, you had everything. The anger, the sadness, they will never escape me. I wish I could have saved you from that Improvised explosive device, but I couldn't. The second you stepped on that pressure plate, it was over. Even though I was disorientated and there was blood poring from my ears and legs; my first instinct was to help you. I can't even put into words how I feel to this day. I see this every night while I try to sleep. I love you Taylor and I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.

I can still see their faces when I close my eyes at night. Sometimes, I forget that I used to be one of them. The horrors I witnessed in my childhood can never be erased from my memory, the pain and torment I went through will always play a part in the way I live my life.

I don't think anyone can imagine what abuse I went through, and sometimes I'm scared to write about it. But I refuse to be silent, I refuse to let them win.

One of the worst memories I hold, I'm 7 years old. I'm lying on a dirty, bloody mattress, screaming children all around me. I am the only one who is silent, because I know that screaming is the worst thing you can do. I'm counting the tiles on the ceiling when I hear someone come into the room. I bolt upright, I don't want to see what he's going to do but I'm too scared of the unknown to lie back down and close my eyes.

He marches in, all high and mighty and grabs the nearest screaming child. I hear her begging, begging him in her tiny childlike voice to let her go. He sniggers and throws the girl across the room, the poor thing slams into the wall and slumps onto the floor, she's barely moving. And then he laughs, a high pitched, evil laugh, like he's enjoying himself.

He makes eye contact with me and I avert my eyes, I don't want to draw attention to myself but it's too late. He strides across the room and I make silent prayers in my head. He stand over me, smiling, his fists slam towards me, and then everything goes black.

Life is uncertain. 

The last enemy that is to defeated,  is death.  

Death isn't the end

it is a start of forever. 

The bus is running slow,  seating in front let me feel the speed of the bus,  the driver was careful because of the downhill slope.  The road is slippery he was too careful to avoid accident. 

It happened so fast

Three men in a tricycle were laughing enjoying the adrenaline of going fast, they might not noticed our bus 

T ey were at full speed,  twas too late when they hit the break every smile turned to a panic grin, 

 the sound of their laughter,  

turned to a blood freezing scream.

They knew. 

It was their last laugh

Every blood left their face

Their body

Thrown from the vehicle

Our bus,  

Crushed like a tin hit by a wrecking ball.

Other passengers were thrown in front because of the impact. 

Running beside the driver who is shaking 

Whose foot is pressing hard on the brake

It was impossible to ignore the flowing blood in front of us 

The fresh blood flowing from the beheaded man because of the impact.  

The right of the passenger who is throwing blood from his mouth. 

Lastly the white substance that scattered around the bus.  

BRAIN. 

The brain of the one who owns the brightest smile several moments before the impact. 

     Once again, I congratulated myself for the wisdom (obvious in summer months, less so during the school year) of choosing to go into public education.  My daughter and her friend were in their swimming suits in the backseat.  I, their "mom/chauffeur" drove the 4 miles to our neighborhood beach.  There, we swam, ate ice cream and, in the July-est way possible, thoroughly enjoyed our day!

     My daughter and her friend were of the age, and swimming proficiency, where I had to keep an eye on them but not be right next to them.  In other words, I had glorious moments of solitude!  I alternated sunbathing with walks along the water.  During these walks, as is my nature, I picked up bits of litter in the area.  Every once in awhile I might grumble at the carelessly tossed straws, wrappers, plastic bags scattered on the beach.  Mostly, though, I mindlessly bent to pick up the items.

     During one of these walks, with the girls splashing in the water nearby, I spotted a large green garbage bag floating not far from them.  Rather than disturb them, I waded in with the intention of retrieving it myself.  As I began to approach it, however, the piercing sound of the lifeguard's whistler split the serene air in two.

     "Everyone, out of the water!"  Families gathered in silence.  Several stood.  Some remained seated on their blankets and chairs.  No one spoke.  Even the gulls, it seemed, were silent.  An ambulence siren bellowed in the distance.  Its eerie scream grew closer and closer.  EMT crew members ran to the water.  There, they pulled the "garbage bag" that I had nearly retrieved out of the water.  It was, as we later found out, the body of a young mother who had jumped to her death 24 hours before.  My girls- my daughter and her friend- were blissfully unaware how close they were to a greusome, tragic discovery!

It was a good day... The sky was a perfect blue and the clouds seemed to resemble hearts and flowers. The best part, to that point, was the fact that there was no line! It was beautiful! But that would soon change. As I sat down with my dad, I thought about the possibility of this movie being bad since it is coming from M. Night shamalan. I kept the highest of faith, though, and  maintained a positive vibe. Right from the beginning I was horrified! First off sokka found aang in the movie when it was katara who found him in the TV show. Katara finding aang is symbolic since they end up getting married. Then the movie gets even worse by the terrible acting even by child actor standards. Oh and by the way, they pronounce aang's name wrong. The three stooges eventually find their way to a village controlled by the fire Nation. See this is one of the most horrific parts of the film- in the TV show the fire Nation takes anyone who earth bends and puts them on an iron ship so they can't bend. However, in the movie, ALL of the earth benders are still in the village!! surrounded by 99% Rock!! And then it's aang who has to convince them to fight when it was katara who did it in the show which showed great character development! Then a random extra did 7 seconds of jumping just to SLOWLY move a small rock. The whole thing was bad but the ending was the worst and most horrific. In the TV show, aang merged with a spirit fish which resulted in the creation of a giant fish made purely out of water and energy, that then goes on to defeat an entire army single handily. In the film aang just made a giant waterfall that didn't do a thing other than amaze everyone except me and everyone else who has any love for the animated movie, or just a good movie in general. This was the most horrific experience anyone could ask for.