Knockermalumregionepropinquusphobia
This phobia is real--the fear of being an appleknocking country cousin. And in case you were wondering, yes, the name of the phobia is written in latin and yes, I made the name up myself. But I assure you, the phoba is one hundred percent real.
By the way, Knockermalumregionepropinquusphobia can be translated "appleknocker country cousin."
It's nothing really
Too trivial to mention
It's just that- well-
When all are oohing
And all are aahing
Inside, I'm dying
Wretching and vomiting
It's pink and sparkly
That makes me shudder
And cuddly, soft
Makes me cringe
Billowy and wispy
And all things "wonderful"
Make me come unhinged
Nothing conjures up
Such a fearful fright
As an "adorable" baby in sight
A pug puppy's wrinkled face
Sends me to find my "happy place"
So, please keep from me
Your baby or pet
And, please, please
Don't forget
Those FB posts that get shared
(The innocuous "have a good day" teddy bear)
Leave this cutaphobic so, so scared!
Spare me, please, my misery
And keep your "cute" away from me!