tired
I wish my anger was of the healing kind,
not a force shredding my soul
a sharp blade piercing my skin
every time you forget
your bruises
and bones broken
happily falling off a cliff
of what you think is real
I can feel the rage clouding my mind
and the sharp pain under my ribs follows,
makes my eyes tear up,
the blade goes in deep
I'm tired of picking you up
from the ground,
I am tired of being the glue
to your heart
What's the point?
What's the meaning here?
and yet,
after all, said and done
I can only find my way to you
I would leave
but I can't,
I struggle to keep you warm
but my body is so cold
It falls apart
every time you jump off that cliff
hands spread out,
a smile of hope on your face
Can't you see that there are only
rocks there waiting?
there is no flow of love
to keep you intact
please don't go there again,
please stay here,
with me
I'm tired of being the glue
to your heart
when my own started to fall apart
Christmas Jam
Christmas came to my family, my house.
My daughter and her boyfriend had been duking it out.
Being scared for her, I told her to move in with me.
Her, my four grands and a christmas tree.
A two bedroom apartment, all living under new rules.
Didn't make it comfortable for the family that moved.
Me being used to a clean house and a peace of mind.
Was changed and re-arranged to a stressful kind.
I wanted to leave and never come back.
I wanted to let them stay and I gather and pack.
But I let go and let God and we gained common ground.
Now we all get along, we have all settled down.
Run Away
I step into the building
They don't know how I feel
So many people walk around
Voices roar in crowds
My worst nightmare
Claustrophobia
Fear
Anxiety
Heart is racing
Palms are sweaty
Loss of breath
But they don't see it
I stay quiet
I try to be calm
I try to be normal
Even though I want to run away
To find some place quiet