forever guilty

staring out at the sky,

i heard you ask something.

i don’t know what,

but i felt your arm tugging at mine

for desperate attention.

but the endless clouds were too captivating.

the sun was going down,

and the orangepinkblue horizon was beautiful.

melting, i was a bubble of happiness.

and so i murmured,

“yes. sure, whatever.”

i think you whispered "thank you," and left eventually.

and finally, i was at peace.

as i slept, i dreamt of being a hazy cloud

with limitless freedom to be.

the next day, i woke to find many missed calls.

friends and family.

they gave condolences.

for what,

my sleepy mind did not know.

but i soon found out,

you had taken your life.

i soon found out,

you had asked me to call you in the morning, and if you

didn’t answer,

to call 911.

that you didn’t know

if you would make it

so you needed my promise to call.

the next time i say “yes”

i’m actually going to listen to the

question.