I will be one-hundred soon.

All those I knew and loved are gone. Just me and my memories, my fears, and my misgivings. Most of all, a love I still hold intact for those I have loved all my life.

I was married fifty-two years. Four boys, two girls, ten grandchildren and six great-grandchildren, but I like to believe they are all in a better place now.

I worked for the same newspaper for fifty years before I took on retirement. Thought I’d enjoy that. Ended up hating it. I needed to stay busy.

Then there was Phillip. He came along in my eleventh year of marriage. He showed me a side of me I never knew existed, or, subconsciously refused to admit that I was, and am, a gay male.

I was shocked and surprised with both him and myself. It didn’t last long, just one month. But in that month, I had doubts about being a good husband and father. I wouldn’t hug any male members of the family and refused to shake another man’s hand. I was afraid to become what Phillip brought out of me on a fulltime basis. I was afraid it would destroy my marriage and ruin everything I’ve ever worked for. I was afraid the family would find out about my indiscretion.

They never did.

In the thirty-second year of my marriage, it happened again. Somehow, this time seemed to be more right than wrong. It was as if I had matured enough to understand I can be bi-sexual, and still have a marriage, a family, a job, and still be able to contribute to the community.

But I still had that knowing fear. I couldn’t shake it no matter how hard I tried.

Paul became my most ardent close friend, my support beam, and lover. We had stolen moments to be sure, but they were the best moments to recognize who I was and am. It was society as well as my family, who weren’t ready for me to announce what I finally knew what I am: a bi-sexual human being.

Paul died, six years after my wife did. That was 1972. The last of my great-greats passed on in 2009.

There was only person who knew about my other life. When we could, Paul and I wanted our privacy.

Betty never said a word to anyone, except to tell me that second chances for happiness is rare.

I had a good life. An up and down life.

I guess what I’m saying is that when something special comes along in your life and it feels near-perfect, hold onto it. Betty had known most of the latter half of our marriage. My wife was a good woman. I had to tell her the truth. Our marriage was based on truth.

Without truth, there is no honor. Without honor—okay, I’ve rambled on long enough.

Time to call it a night.

The car pulls into the driveway. She opens the door and there is a whooshing sound as if a speding bullet flying out of the vehicle. I sigh. It wasn't a bullet. I watch her stumble out of the car, pulled by a red leash and the monster pulling it.

Come on, Marley.

She says after trying to drag the dog to our house.

Really? Like the guy from the Christmas Carol?

I ask and lift an eyebrow. I wasn't really seeing this situation in very bright colors. Joan looks up and sends me a dirty look. It's 5 degrees below zero and I can still see her sweat from all the effort. Hey, she did want a dog. Well, she got it.

Yes, exactly from there, Meg. Don't look so doubtful.

Hmm, at least you didn't name it after that movie with Aniston.

It was based on a book.

It doesn't matter. You ended up in hours of tears after it. That's what I remember the most. Besides, it's a name for a boy.

No, it's not. And the name works just as good for a girl.

She says and scratches the dog behind an ear. I close my eyes for a moment, trying not to imagine all of the damages in the house that were surely on their way.

Megan?

I open my eyes and stare at her. I was gonna be tough on this. All her charms were not going to work this time, no extra points for her curves or the intensity of her eyes... even if they were what got us the puppy in the first place. I look at the beast. My eyes linger on the chocolate brown fur. On the big round eyes. On all that drool - and I wonder if we should have named the dog: Beelzebub. The puppy growl at me. Yeah, sounds about right.

Yes, dear?

I say sarcastically. She leaves the dog while it starts to sniff around as if its sole mission was to learn all the smells in the neighborhood. Joan walks up to me, wraps her hands around my neck and stares at me. It was the exact stare number one, that the puppy served us at the pound. I narrow my eyes but before I can do anything, she stands on her fingers and kisses me. I lower my head slightly. My lips linger on hers. My hands in red gloves, wrap themselves around her waist. She starts to giggle. She knows that she already won. I growl and kiss her again. She moves back.

Grow up, Megan. We just got a hairball for our little family. Think that you can deal with that?

I look at the dog. It starts to chew on out house-mat.

Yeah. I think I can deal with it. Only if later I will get a different Christmas gift?

I give her a meaningful stare. She smiles back. Let the Christmas begin.

“Zack? Babe, where are you?”

“Don’t come in.” Dan opens the door anyway.

“Hey, I told you not to come in! I’m wrapping presents!”

Dan scoops me into his arms and kisses me.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want anything but you.”

“Yeah well, I’m expensive. I have needs.”

“Okay, our with it. What’d you get me?”

“You’re going to laugh.”

“Wonderful. I like laughing.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“What is it?”

“Condoms.”

Dan laughs.

“I told you you were going to laugh!”

“Zackary Darrel Cullham. This is why I love you.” I blush under his gaze. His perfect eyes are staring at me.

“Dan?” He kisses me.

“Yeah?”

“I think this should be the year.”

“The year we what? Lose our virginity?” A bigger blush from me.

“Um.. yes, I hope, but that’s not what I mean.”

“Then what?”

“I’m going to tell my Mom.”

Shocked silence, which I expected.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Then lets do it. Now.” I blink for a minute, studying his face.

“Wow, I did not expect that to be easy.”

“Oh, it won’t be easy. There is going to be a major flag war tonight.” I push him playfully.

“Oh the horror.”

“Like last time? ‘Ah, Danny, please don’t kill me! Ah!’”

“Mmm, shut up. I’ll beat you this time.”

“No one can stop me in the pursuit of vengeance!”

“So funny-“

“Zach? Dan? What’re you two boys doing?”

“Gift wrapping,” we say together. Dan steps on my toe.

“Uh... Ma?”

“Yeah?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“Does it have anything to do with the condoms on your bed?” I wince.

“Um... sort of?”

“Did you get a girl pregnant? Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Um... not exactly...”

“Say what?”

“Mom... Mom, I’m gay.”

“That’s wonderful, sweetie.” Me and Dan look at eachother.

“That is not at all what I expected you to say.”

“Well, I have something to tell you, too.”

“What?”

“You know how I’m always going on about how the earth is overpopulated?”

“Yes...”

“And you know how you always think I’m a hypocrite because I had kids?”

“Uh... yes.... mom, where is this conversation going?”

“You’re adopted.”

“Um... wow.”

“So now you can follow after me and adopt a kid, too! And save the world from overpopulation and give some lonely kid a home and a family!”

“Wow. That’s... interesting...”

“This has got to be the weirdest conversation that I have ever third wheeled in... and I’ve been to my sister’s wedding, so that’s saying a lot.”

“I love you no matter what, honey.”

“I love you too, Mom. Or... not mom. I love you.”

“You come here too, Daniel. You’re part of the family too.”

“Oh, Miss Cullham, no...” I laugh as she grabs his sweatshirt hood and pulls him close.

“My two boys....”

“This is so weird,” Dan whispers.

“Yeah,” I say. “But I love it.”

“Hey Zack?”

“Yeah?”

“Next year, we’re telling my parents.”

“Oh, Lord...”

It's Christmas again in the Briggs household,

The grands are outside until they get cold.

My wife decorates and prepares the dinner with ease.

I string the lights on the tree so that my wife is pleased.

Our daughter lays out the clothing

that the grands will wear on Christmas day.

All are waiting for Santa to come our way.

Our son fixes the lights on the front yard tree.

His boyfriend comes over and gathers up the leaves.

My daughter's husband put on the Christmas music to enhance the mood.

There's nothing like Christmas and the Briggs Family food.

We make ham, yams, turkey, and gravy.

We make mac and cheese, rolls, stuffing, and maybe,

pies, and cakes, and collard greens,

rice pudding, corn pudding, and freshly picked string beans.

We all settle down for Santa to swing by,

we left him eggnog and some sweet pumpkin pie.

Christmas is for loving your family no matter the reason.

Appreciate your family for this is Briggs Christmas season.