Mom

reaches over

and

h u g s

me.

"I love you, sweetie,"

She says.

"Love you too,"

I grumble,

smiling.

We met online. His profile picture really showed off his beautiful eyes. I don’t usually like to make the first move, but with this guy, I just couldn’t resist. I picked up my phone and nervously dialed the number. Would he still be available? I figured a cute guy like this would already be taken.

A friendly voice answered the phone, and I asked if we could meet in person. He was available that very night for a visit, so I quickly agreed and grabbed my keys and purse. I didn’t even take time to put on lipstick.

When I got there, another woman was already with him. I felt a pang. Was I too late? Were they connecting? I peered through the window to try and assess the situation. She seemed friendly enough, but did she want a long term relationship like I did? As she got up to leave, I quickly turned away and pretended to look at a picture on the wall. I didn’t want her to know that I was interested in the same guy, but as soon she left the room, I went it and took her place across from the beautiful brown eyed boy.

As I sat down, the puppy came right over and put his wet nose on my knee. I picked him up and he snuggled down into my lap. His black fur was so soft, and his liquid brown eyes looked right into my soul. It was love at first sight, and I knew he would be mine.

“Mommy, my tummy hurts,” the little girl whispered, clutching her mom’s hand tightly.

“I know, sweetheart. Once the doctor comes he’ll fix everything, darling. I promise,” her mom whispered, fighting the tears pooling in her eyes. When the doctor emerged into the waiting room, his expression was impassive as he delivered the news.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s nothing we can do. Your kidney wasn’t a match for your daughter. Unless you can find a donor quickly, there aren’t any options left.” He spread his arms in a placating gesture as her mother wept, clutching her daughter in utter despair.

“Mommy? What’s wrong?” Her daughter whispered, lifting her brown eyes to her mother’s.

“N-nothing, Josie dear. Everything is going to be fine. Just fine.” She whispered into her daughters hair as she hugged her closer. “Ready to go home, darling?” Clutching her stomach with one hand, the little girl hopped of the bench, holding her mother’s hand tightly.

“Just let me go talk to the doctor for a second, then we can go.” The girl stood in the center of the room, tears pouring down her face as the pain worsened.

“Momma!” she cried, then collapsed to the floor, curled into a tight ball. Her mom was there in seconds, hugging her daughter tightly like she would disappear at any second.

“Oh baby, if I could take your pain away, I would,” her mom whispered, hugging the little girl closer.

“Ma’am, do you think it would be better if she stayed here overnight?” The doctor interjected.

“I can stay with her though, right?” The doctor nodded, leading them into a separate room and down a set of hallways. None of them noticed the other woman in the waiting room, her gaze lingering on the little girl, tears forming in her own eyes. When the little girl and her mother were settled, the doctor returned to the waiting room. Standing up, the woman approached the doctor with a sense of determination.

“Can I apply to see if my kidney would be a match for that little girl?” She whispered urgently. The doctor looked at her strangely for a second, then nodded.

“Right this way please.”

***

Throughout the night, the girl’s pain subsided, and then grew worse. She lay in the bed, tears streaking her face.

“It hurts, Mommy,” she whispered, crying.

“I know baby, I know.” Her mom hugged her closer, stroking her daughter’s hair softly, wondering if it would be one of the last times she ever did. God help my baby girl, she thought. Make a miracle happen. She spent the rest of the night hugging her daughter, sleeping on the hospital bed with the little girl enveloped in her arms.

The next morning, the doctor came into the room with a tiny smile on his lips.

“I bring good news. A woman applied to see if her kidney matched your daughter’s, and it did. She can go into surgery right away.” Tears of joy glistened on the doctor’s eyes. “Isn’t it wonderful?” the mother simply looked at him.

“Josie’s kidneys failed last night. I woke up this morning, but she was already gone.” Her eyes took on a dead, empty sort of quality. “She’s gone.” The mother repeated, staring at her child. “Gone.”

Then she began to cry, cradling her child to her chest, huge sob wracking her body.

“Oh, sweet little angel, if you had only held on just a little longer! Come back to me, child, come back. I love you.” Clutching her daughter to her chest, the mother looked up at the doctor. “It’s too late.” She said. “I love my child, but the Lord had other plans. It’s too late. My sweet baby Josie is gone.”

The Sun and Moon had been friends with each other for many years. When the Moon failed to shine on its own at night, the Sun would lend it some of its so humans could still look up and see it shining in all its glory.

The Moon began to feel upset about all the praise it was getting from the humans.

"I didn't use to get all of this praise when I shone on my own. The humans are only noticing me because of the suns rays that I borrow," it thought.

It felt broken and hurt and soon, the Moon stopped talking to the Sun. It stopped borrrowing its rays at night, casting the world below into darkness everytime the Sun went around to the other side.

The humans muttered and complained about how the Moon had stopped shining, blaming it on the Sun.

"If the Sun wasn't so bright, the Moon wouldn't feel so bad!" they said.

The Sun soon started to feel as if it was being misunderstood. The Moon heard news of this gossip and, for a few days, thought the Sun deserved it. The Sun had wanted all the attention, hadn't it?

But after a few days, the Moon began to be lonely. It wanted to talk to its best friend but it kept reminding itself that if couldn't. The Sun deserved to be shamed.

The Sun wanted to talk to the Moon but didn't know how to approach the now dark celestial body. It was also lonely but didn't want to hurt the Moon more.

The Moon got sick of being dark all the time and wanted badly to shine, even if it was borrowed from the Sun.

The humans bickering and complaining became even louder, some blaming the Moon, others blaming the Sun. They wanted their nightlight and they felt they couldn't live without it.

The Moon finally worked up courage to approach the Sun.

"I'm sorry, Sun, but I need some light," it confessed.

The Sun smiled. "Of course, my little Moon. However much you want."

The Moon smiled sheepishly.

"I would give you all the light I had if I could. I want you to shine like a lighthouse in the night, guiding the humans safely home and lulling them to sleep. I want you to shine. I want you to be happy," the Sun explained.

The Moon hugged the Sun. The Moon was happy. The Sun gave it some light when it went around the earth and the humans sang its praises.

"The Sun was so nice to give light back to the moon," the younger children would say.

"Oh, but dear, the Sun never took it away," their parents explained. "The Moon just stopped receiving it."

The children would look at their parents, confused, until they would explain.

"You see, the Moon and the Sun have been lifelong friends and no matter what, they will never stop shining together," they would begin. "Because the Sun loves the Moon and the Moon loves the sun. And because of that, we never have to fear of either of them disappearing."

We're standing at the corner, Pepper and me. He's selling newsclips for a dime, hollerin' like a do-right fog horn.

The crowd is barreling on by, and I adjust my cap cause it's too big and it's sliding over my eyes. Pop said I shouldn't wear it, 'specially cause it's his.

"Sticks, ya gonna do somethin' with yourself other than watch me work?" Pepper says while adjusting an overall strap.

I just squint at him. He thinks just cause he's eleven he can boss me around, but Pop told me ten-year-olds are big enough to handle themselves.

I look back at the morning market and try to push my braid back under Pop's cap. "You know I work just as hard as you."

Pepper gives me a cheeky grin and waves a fistfull of his newsclips at me. "I ain't seen you out there yet, and I already been making a near dollar!" Pepper taps a finger to his pocket, and I can hear the clink of his coins.

"Jiminy, I'm going, ok?" I flash Pepper a sweet smile. "How do I look?"

Pepper looks at my cuffed pants, patched-up vest, and dirty face. "Like a do-right rat, that's how," he told me, bursting into laughter.

I step up to him to give him a fair swat on the arm, but he darts away from me, cackling and waving his newsclips.

"Just ten cents, now, ladies and gents!" Pepper yells from within the crowd.

I can't see him, but I follow his voice, running through the street and squeezing through adults. Pepper plays it clever today, he ran right through a couple of swaddled nobles, and I start to follow. But I know my part.

I run right into one.

"Ooof!" The woman I bumped into makes a noise like when you fall into a pile of dirt. She's wearing a long purple cloak and a shiny, shiny necklace. Her face is long and pinched and looks very disapproving of me.

I look up at her with a sheepish smile. "Beg pardon, ma'am. I'a been chasing my friend down there, didn't see where I'a been runnin'."

The woman totted, "Foul children, running around these streets!"

"Real sorry, ma'am, honest!" I say with a quick bow. Then, I scurry away, lookin' up at the buildings to see where I am now.

We'd run down the length of Burrow street already, and I'd made a few snatches, 'nough for the morning. Can't go around takin' everything, Pop always says. Gettin' greedy gets ya caught!

I round the corner to Dock street and run straight-away past the snake charmer. Pepper and me planned to meet right past him.

But I don't see Pepper nowhere. Instead, somebody grabs my arm, swings me around.

A burly woman with missing teeth says loudly, "Whaddya doin' round here, kid?"

I knock her hand off me and say clearly, "I sell the newsclips 'ere, ma'am." She narrows her eyes at me, and I plant my feet. "Just a dime, for one, ma'am."

"You be lookin' like a filtcher, ya little street thief!"

The woman reaches at me again, but I start a-runnin'.

Only get three steps afore I get caught again.

A man grabs me. "Where you off to so fast?" he says in a gravelly voice.

"That's me sister, sir! I'm awful glad you found 'er. Jolly thanks, sir."

I turn my head and see Pepper with his salesman smile. He puffs out his chest and puts his thumbs through his overall straps, just like Pop likes to do.

The man crinkles his already crinkly brow at the two of us, but it's enough to allow me to slip away from him.

But Pepper and me aren't free of the adults yet. The burly woman looms over us. "You kids 'ave a home? I'll report yous as stealin' if I see you round 'ere again!"

Pepper grabs my arm and pulls me behind him. "Yes, ma'am. We live right on Burrow street, sellin' the newsclips. Ten cents if you ever need one! Ta-ta!" Then Pepper pulls me so hard Pop's cap near flies off my head, and we start runnin' through the streets again, an honest run this time, me right at his heels.

We run far enough to near reach the opposite side of the market. Pepper stops in the shade of a building, and I near collapse next to him. Both of us breathe heavily from runnin' so much.

"I thought I was done for, Pepper! I really did!" I say, still holding Pop's cap on my head.

Pepper takes a deep breath and grins mischievously. "No worryin', Sticks. You might be a brat, but you know I'll be a-lookin' after you. No matter what."

I smile at Pepper but I scrunch up my nose too. Then, real quiet, I ask, "You wanna see what I stole off that rich lady?"

Pepper's smile widens. "Let's see it!"

It was a beautiful fall day. He witnessed it with his nose pressed to the window’s cold glass. Brief patches of fog upon it blurred his vision with every breath. Beyond the fog, crimson and gold leaves dropped by one’s and two‘s from the Maples and the Birch into an Autumn collage on the lawn. Beyond the falling leaves were kids playing touch football in the street. Bobby watched them out the window, out beyond the falling leaves as they threw and caught and yelled in their play. It was crimson, and green, and gold outside. Inside, it was only blue. He sat on the sill alone, wondering why it was that some boys got to play football in the street while others had to watch from their windows.

Bobby had gone outside before, but it never ended well. Sometimes he was ignored, which was all right, he could play alone while stealing glances at the other kids, the “real” kids, those kids who were made to be outdoors, the ones who were made for fun, and were good at having it. Other times he became the center of attention. Those were the bad times. Those times were the reason he sat inside alone, watching, and blue. It was usually AJ that started it, but soon all of the kids pitched in. The meanness seldom got physical, but it didn’t have to. The exclusion and the torment were enough to keep Bobby inside, to keep him blue.

On a whim Sheriff Brown picked up the phone and dialed his sister. “Yea, Diedra! He’s a full bred collie, looks just like Lassie. He killed a farmer’s sheep outside of town. They want to put him down, but he seems like a good dog, Diedra, and I remembered you saying that a dog might be good for Bobby? What do you think?

“I don’t know, Ollie... he killed a sheep? What if he attacks Bobby?”

“Let me bring him over, he seems like a great dog, he just doesn’t belong around farm animals. Let’s put them together and see how they get along, I really hate to see him get put down.”

“Ok, Ollie, but tell Bobby it’s your dog. I don’t want him to get his hopes up, you hear?”

“Yea, I hear. I’ll be over around five... you are going to love him, Sis!”

Diedra set her phone down. The trouble her mouth got her into!

Ollie was right, the dog did look just like Lassie, and she did love him, right away. Once inside it came to her for a moment, allowing her to stroke his head before sniffling at the air and heading straight for Bobby on his window sill. The big dog laid it’s big chin on Bobby’s skinny-little knee and batted soft brown eyes at him as though he knew who it was that he was here for. Diedra’s breath caught when her sad, lonesome little boy reached a hand for the dog’s head. “We’ll try him, Ollie, but no promises.”

It was not original, but they called him “Lucky”, as he was lucky to be alive, but it turned out to be a great name for other reasons. Bobby quickly took to feeding Lucky, and Lucky thrilled him by choosing to sleep at night on the rug beside his bed. It was their third day together that Bobby and Lucky came upon the football game. AJ broke away from the game long enough to snear at Bobby and his dog.

“What you got there, ‘Booby-head‘ Bobby?” AJ wasn’t the biggest of the “real” kids, but he was the one with the mean eyes. It was always AJ that started it, and he was starting it now. Bobby felt that familiar coldness in his chest, and the lightness in his head as the blood flushed from his face. He didn’t speak, as he knew from past experience that speaking would only make him begin crying, and then the teasing would get even worse. He tried to walk away, but AJ followed while the others began to wander closer.

“I said, what you got there, Booby-head?” AJ laughed and looked back over his shoulder to make sure the others were watching.

Lucky started towards the bigger boy, walking slowly, but deliberately. Bobby tried to pull him back, but he was not strong enough. Being behind the dog, Bobby could not see the curled lips, nor the long, white teeth, nor the blackened gums that AJ saw, but he did see the flush in AJ’s face, and he did see the bully’s quick retreat. AJ took several slow backward steps before turning to run.

Over time the walks grew longer, and even longer yet. The boy reveled in being outdoors, where he and his dog found no end of marvels, and adventures. His world had grown to unlimited proportions. At times they passed the other kids, the “real” kids, but no one shouted Bobby’s way as they continued their games, letting Bobby and Lucky pass in peace.

And then came the day that one of the kids did walk over. “Hey Bobby, can I pet your dog?”

Bobby shrugged. That familiar coldness crept to his chest, and face, but the other boy just smiled and put his hand down for the dog to sniff. The “real” boy dropped to his knees and happily scruffed at the big dog’s mane. Soon the other kids were there, gathered around Bobby and Lucky, each taking their turn sliding hands along Lucky’s silkened back. Eventually the kids all stood, and turned to go. The first one looked back, “Cool dog, Bobby!”

“Yea,” Bobby felt a different feeling spread through his chest, a warm feeling this time as it swelled with pride. He was suddenly, and unexpectedly, the “luckiest”, and the “realist” kid in the world. “Yea,“ Bobby whispered, so that only Lucky could hear. “Yea, he is the coolest dog!”

Bobby and Lucky walked quickly away, before the “real” kids could tease him for crying.

The most vivid memories that resurface again and again often seem to include (at least) one of three things: music, scents or food. Have you ever smelled something and felt yourself transported back to a moment, a person, a place? Or heard an old song and remembered exactly where you were and with whom the last time you heard it? Or eaten a dish that reminded you of some cherished moment of your childhood?

My mother had a rather tragic childhood whose events colored much of her life. Fortunately, I discovered over the years that she did have some pleasant memories. They tended to have to do with food; particularly, her grandmother’s biscuits and gravy. When she talks about Sunday dinner and “Grandma’s biscuits and gravy,” you can see by her smile, and eyes that no longer see you, that she is transported to a time when she was young, innocent, and loved. A time when she could ask for another biscuit only so she could sop up every last bit of Grandma’s gravy, and it was given.

Unfortunately, a lot of her unpleasant memories also have to do with food, memories that explain why she makes sounds and faces of distaste at some of the dishes I make. She can still taste all of the foods she didn’t like when she left her grandma’s home to live with her godmother. Many of the foods I never ate as a child (but love as an adult) she never cooked because they awakened unsettling memories: memories of feeling unloved. For her, those feelings were substantiated by memories of tasteless (or repugnant) food prepared out of necessity only. The melancholy child and adult was unable to consider that it wasn’t a lack of love, perhaps, but rather an inability to cook that was the problem.

My mother insists she is not a good cook and that I do not get my skills from her (my skills are only that I can follow a recipe well and have dozens of cookbooks of which I make daily use). But every Easter when she cooks for my family, if she asks us what we want her to cook, we all ask for our favorite dishes that she makes: dishes that bring me back to a happy childhood. Memories of dinners she prepared nightly despite being a single mother who worked 9-5 and got up before me to make sure I had a warm breakfast on cold winter mornings, and a healthy, often warm lunch packed in my lunchbox. Memories of undying love.

And so, if I am a good cook, it is because I learned from my mother what I believe she learned from her grandmother: to cook with love.

At 5 we met

Two kids just starting out

At 6 we looked

Too scared to truly speak

At 7 we talked

Who knew we would be so alike

At 8 we were together

No one thought we’d end up like we did

At 9 we sat together

Our teacher didn’t know what was coming

At 10 I got sick

She held my hand the whole way

At 11 we were inseparable

No one could tear us apart

At 12 she broke

I held her as she let her mother go

At 13 we lived

The world was ours

At 14 we fought

Two headstrong girls who were “right”

At 15 we drifted

Life takes us down two different roads

At 16 we were strangers

Living with a missing piece

At 17 we reunited

With boyfriends on our arms

At 18 we graduated

With tears in our eyes we whispered

“we made it”

-my life with my best friend

“There's this girl, her names Lily and she's absolutely beautiful. I really want to make her mine, but I don't think she trust me.” I tell my friend Mike as we walk down the street to the coffee shop. He stops me and puts a hand on my shoulder, taking a deep breath as if he was about to tell me the secret of the universe. “Man you just gotta tell her how you feel and show her your for real!” “I don’t think that’s going to work.” “Of course it will dude! It works for me all the time.” I give him an eye roll and push his hand off of me. “Well she’s different, that won’t work on her. I think she was abused by someone in the past.” “Oh, well then you just gotta take it slow. Show her how gentle you are you big teddy bear.” I think about it for a second. “That’s actually not a bad idea for once.” He looks at me as if I had just slapped him. “I have good ideas! All the time in fact! Your just...never there.” He trails off towards the end knowing I’m right. I laugh but agree to do what he said.

(One week later)

I pull up to my friends house. He stands waiting in the driveway for me. “Mike it worked!” I yell as get out of my truck. “What worked?” “The advice you gave me. I did what you said and she started to trust me!” “That’s great man, so you get anywhere with her?” “Ya! I brought her home yesterday.” “God you move fast.” “She’s in the truck right now. Do you want to meet her?” “Heck ya dude! I’ve been hearing about this mystery girl for a while now, of course I want to meet her.” I go and open the truck door letting Lily out. She jumps out wagging her tail and waiting for me to shut the door. Mike stops completely silent. “Dude... that’s a dog.” “Ya isn’t she beautiful? She a yellow lab and golden retriever mix. I absolutely love her.” He bursts out laughing and almost falls over making lily bark a couple times. “Dude... I thought we were talking about a human girl this entire time.”

A stockpile of amethyst,

emerald, and topaz jewels,

a constant turquoise flowing

brighter than any gem,

all worth more than

any known treasure.