A beautiful blond danced nude on a stump

when a hunter passed by with his shotgun pumped.

So strange to see such a sight on this trail,

And our hesitant hunter had no interest in jail,

So he asked, ”you’re pretty, but are you ‘game’?”

When she smiled and said yes... he blew her away.

Yes, common sense was lacking here,

it was not the season for stalking ‘dears’.

But homonyms suck, no splitting ‘hares‘

and homophones too, when hunting for ‘bare’?

The dogs bark,

and their fur so dark,

they chase a lark,

but miss their mark.

Forget to crawl low,

forget to move slow,

fur standing out in snow,

upwind the wind does blow,

and to silence, the anser is no.

Don't catch prey,

not any day,

though they may say,

as their fur grows gray,

and their to lazy to even play.

#LoudDog

Three Blind Mice

Slipped on the rice

The farmer’s got a gun

Run micey, run

One blind mouse

Made it out the house

He dodged a girl with a carving knife

She looked a bit like the farmer’s wife

Three Blind Mice

Another blind mouse

Also dodged the spouse

He made it back to their secret hole

Which after all, was his only goal

The other blind mouse

Was helped by a louse

Got on a plane and flew to Peru

Cos that’s a thing that fugitives do

Three Blind Mice

Three Blind Mice

I.

Don’t use column A or row 1.

Just don’t.

II.

Even in spreadsheets, pictures are worth more than words.

Take time, google some images; people will pay attention and

You are paid by the hour.

III.

Learn how to resize rows and columns.

You can google it.

IV.

Vivid color is the core of the beauty of this world

But too many colors

Make a spreadsheet hard to read.

V.

Boxes tend to blend together hypnotically

Turn off grid-lines and headers, and chart borders

You can google it.

VI.

Although fun to kill time,

Avoid using more than two fonts.

VII.

3D charts don’t work in a 2D medium.

Google it.

VIII

If your book gets too many pages --

Table of contents.

IX

Always observe the page delineations.

Somebody might just print this thing.

X

Freeze Panes

You can google it.

XI

Headings should stand out.

People want to know what you are

Trying to illustrate

XII

“Zebra Stripes”

You can google it.

XIII

Everything depends

on

A well crafted

Spreadsheet

From a faded blue

Lawn-chair

Beside the white

chickens.

Do you every wonder the reason,

That leaves fall down: is it treason?

Maybe they want to fly,

Maybe their ready to die,

Or maybe it's part of the season.

DICK.

She pronounced out loud.

Obviously in her head.

This sunday she sat, trying to try her luck in this game for fun.

The game of writing, not the game of thrones.

Today she came across a post, served ideas for her thrones.

Words ‘DICK LICKER’ liable for her credentials.

There it lies, beside the river bank, attracting flies.

In a lump of brown and black

The aroma would give even a skunk a heart attack.

It was planted

in a time of desperation,

A moment of weakness.

I just could not hold it in.

Crouching there above the leaves,

My bottom naked and vulnerable,

I frantically looked for a material to wipe with.

I even contemplated using my sleeve.

I found the cleanest leaf I could find --

You must understand, I really was in quite a grind.

Pinch, wipe,

Drip dry.

Never again

Will I leave the house

Without a roll of two-ply.

:MEAT MAN:

I’m the meat man

In the meat van

To your door

Delivery is free ma’am

What’s the score

I’ll be there twice a week ma’am

To lace the pans

With your Christmas , or your Summer HAM

I’m the meat man

Rolling the streets man

Handsome in my uniform

Driving the meat van

7 days a weeks ma’am

Pork chops

Veal skewers

That Vegetarian diet

Is for the fruits

and ...

This weeks plan?

Rib-eye steaks

Chicken Drummers

Rubbed and salted

As you wanted

I’m the meat man

In the meat van

Check the price

Delivery is free ma’am