I know you wear your own radiance

where a moon steals someone's blaze

I know you are huge and persistent

where a moon dress opaque on each passing day.

But do you know, unlike you,

that moon clutches my fist and walk with me

He may plum dark circles

but he manages to reflect me thoroughly.

You were million ages

better than the moon

But just like he conquered sun's glint

He invaded my heart too.

He was close, close enough to hug me

when the entire universe bridled up in its sleepy tone.

And you were far, so far that

when I looked again, you were gone. (far gone)

It's raining again

Just like that day I can't help but remember

But wish I couldn't recall

You're there,

Smiling at me with that same goofy grin

That I always wanted to slap off your face

Although now,

I wish more than anything

To be able to see it once more

You're kicking puddles in the rain

While your arms are outstretched

And your smile is tasting the sky's tears

What does it taste like?

Is it sweet like this moment

Or bitter like its memory

You take me in your wet arms

Soaking my dress in your embrace

I want to feel the warmth of your skin

But all I feel is

Is the beating of your heart

If longing memories could be relived

I would have died a thousand times over

Just to be there in that rain

With you

It's raining again

Just like that day

I see you in my memory

But

I opened my eyes

And when I looked again, you were gone

I faced eternal dark and cold, and horror,

Because the silence choked my song. I did

Not know a force could do that. Shriveled chords

Would die in grief, and none could bid

My lyre or lips to rise. And so I went,

To beg a dint of pity from a stone.

The dog, the ferry, shades of men… I bent

My face away. A man with flesh on bone

Should not have seen. I went below, below.

At last I saw the great pale god, his throne,

His stare. I begged in song. He granted, though

I could not trust. My eyes defied, I saw,

I looked away, and when I looked again—gone.

I was sitting in the bagel shop with my soon to be ex-boyfriend. We were eating and not saying much, lost in thoughts of exams and papers and why can’t this be easy? Being together used to be so easy.

The bagel shop was small. It had a couple of tables in the windows, one on each side of the front door, but most of the seating was on stools facing mirrors that covered the walls on either side. We were sitting on stools. Where we used to sit facing each other with our thighs nearly entwined, this morning, we faced the mirror, eyes on our food, or off in space.

Until I saw you in the mirror.

Our eyes were drawn to the other. We stared for only a moment, but far longer than a casual glance. The air between us was crackling and alive with interest, possibility, promise… I felt you, though we had never met, spoken, touched....

But I was in a relationship, albeit a dying one.

I gave a sort of in another lifetime perhaps smile and looked back at my bagel. And when I looked again, you were gone.

I can hear you humming that song,

thumping your feet as you tap along.

Your eyes alive as you smile wide,

you come and hug me from behind.

We dance together your heart and mine,

You bellow the lyrics, butchering each line.

And now as the same song plays in this shop,

I don't want it to stop,

because the harder I try to hold on to each detail,

my memory of you has begun to fade.

I close my eyes and try to see you as you've been,

but the song stops playing more quickly than I can,

and when I looked again,

you were gone.

i think

we used to be

friends

we'd talk every day

laugh and smile and

be ourselves

i could cut away

every piece of hurt i owned

when i was with you

i loved you,

i still love you

and you never quite loved me back

i told you how much i cared

you ran away scared

and it all fell apart

i think

we used to be

friends

but it was all so fast

such a blur

of angry lines and scared scribbles

i looked to you, glanced away,

and when i looked again,

you were gone

Across the confines of my mind

I saw you.

Across the scar infested memories

I saw you.

Across the ocean of tears

you saw me.

We walked with each other

and shared all our secrets.

We promised the silliest of things

like protecting each other.

You told me you'd be by my side until I died

and I promised it too.

Across the wicked mind of mine

I conjured you.

Across the depression and anxiety

I loved you.

Across my illusions

I lost you.

I tried to find you, across my mind.

And when I looked again, you were gone.

Your love was the first one to walk away

it left in the middle of a sentence

it left you stuttering in the middle

of i love you

It walked away

and it took the warmth off of my body

it left me shivering

while you had your arms wrapped around me

in bed at night

it left me wondering

how i would survive the day

when the sun was hiding in the clouds

or so bright it burned my skin

Your love was the first one to walk away

and when i looked again

you were gone

too

the end -[renata ferretti]

The wind brought me here.

I’d been running for a long time, and from a lot of things. But that morning, I slowed down—just for a second.

It was windy out, as it tended to be. I stepped out of my motel and just stared down the flat, dusty road like it was something to admire. There was next to nothing out there. A couple of twigs, the sand, the sun. Me.

I squinted into the morning light and shoved my fists into my pockets, thinking about nothing. I stayed like that a good long while, only blinking back into reality when I heard the car.

It was a sleek thing. A spitfire, I was pretty sure it was called. A two-seater sportscar, bright orange. I gotta say, it was one helluva sight.

To me, it looked like dollar bills dipped in fire orange paint. It was so distracting I nearly didn’t see the driver. Until I did.

The car parked, kicking up dust. The driver’s door opened, and out you stepped. You had curly hair, dusty sunglasses, a sporty quarter-zip. You saw me looking and gave a brief wave.

A gust of wind blew by then, tangling my hair in front of my face, and yours too. I stepped forward, in the direction the wind pushed me.

“You don’t own this place, do ya?” you shouted over the distance.

I scoffed and yelled back. “Nope!”

You had the most beautiful smile.

The wind blew again, harder this time, and dust kicked up into my face. I squinted against it, focusing on the orangeness of your car. I looked for your figure among the dust, but sand stung my eyes, forcing me to turn toward the empty horizon. After another second, the wind died down. And when I looked again, you were gone.

I stepped forward, gathering my tangled hair into a makeshift ponytail, as if getting it out of my face would improve my visibility enough to make you reappear.

Instead, it was all flat land. All dust and sky and sand. And that blasted orange car.

Weeks later, and the news reports say that the cops still haven’t found you. Most days I run, but some days, I slow down enough to wonder: what were you running from?

You Said You Loved Me

You Held My Hand

You Earned My Heart

I Told You That I Loved You

It Was Hard To Admit

I Let You Past The Walls

I Let You In

I Fell Down The Rabbit Hole

Yet I Knew You Were The One

So I Turned Around To Catch My Breath

And When I Looked Again, You Were Gone

Now I'm Here Alone

In The Bottom Of This Pit

You Left Me Here To Wither

You Saw My Scars And Called It Quits

When You Told Me That You Loved Me

Was It All Just A Game

Because When I Told You That I Loved You

I Thought You Felt The Same...