flowers in your hair

late nights and happy romance

all part of a dream

Mother and Father were ready in what felt like forever! In reality, I realized, after I looked at the old plastic clock on the wall, which Mother and Father were leaving at our old house so we wouldn't have to take care of it at the new house, that it had only been a half an hour. I busied myself with helping Mother and Father move boxes out to the car. We owned a '40 Chevy that my father was pretty proud of. I liked it, too, since Mother and Father sat in the front seat and I got the whole backseat to myself, which was especially nice on a road trip like this one. 

When the trailer and car were both full, Father pulled straps over the boxes in the trailer so they wouldn't come open and we couldn't lose any of our possessions. I would hate to lose my new mint green skirt or one of my blouses! 

All three of us got in the car and began to drive. I pulled a book out of my book bag to read, and I got lost in the world of words. 

I only resurfaced from the world of my book when I felt the car stop. I dogeared the page I was on and looked up. We were parked in a line of cars, and if I opened the car window and stuck my head out, I could see around the cars all the way to the ocean! I loved seeing the ocean. We only ever made the three-hour trip to San Francisco a couple of times a year, to spend a weekend at the beach. 

Eventually, the car made its way ahead and we pulled into a large, spacious room inside a boat that looked even more massive than it had from above the line of cars. We parked the car, trailer included, and we all got out. Mother and Father helped me pull three suitcases from the back of the sedan; it was what we'd need for the next five days at sea. Mother and Father each shut a door of the car, and I looked around the large room. 

"Where are we going?" I asked. 

Mother pointed to a staircase at the end of the large room. "That's where we're going." 

We began walking. "Where is our room?" I asked. 

"I think it's on the top level, isn't it, Donald?" Mother looked at Father as we kept walking, almost to the staircase. 

Father nodded. "It's a pretty big room. The top level is usually reserved for navy families, as we are, so that's where we're staying." 

We walked in silence up the stairs and through a doorway. But the best part was what I saw once we emerged from the dark of the lower boat parking lot. We were on the top deck of the ship, and, as far as I could see, there was water. Of course, there was still land behind us, but I wasn't looking there. My eyes were on the water. 

But again, we had to keep walking. We walked down a much shorter flight of stairs to a long hallway with lights on. 

"I think our room number is two-hundred-something, but let me check the paper," Father said. I was rushing ahead, and he said, "Wait for us, Adelaide. Our room could be right here." 

I nodded, sighed, and turned back. Father was looking at a piece of paper. "Oh, never mind," he said, "It's number one-oh-three." 

I looked at the room numbers that were next to us. They read one-oh-seven, one-oh-eight, one-oh-nine. "We have to go back," I said, turning around. Mother and Father walked back down the long hallway with me until we were in front of a door that read one-oh-three. Father dug in his pocket and produced a small key. He fumbled with the lock until the door opened, and inside, was the most beautiful hotel-like room I'd ever seen. 

The next few days flew by quickly, even though I had no Khloe or Daisy to hang out with the entire weekend. The weekend was spent biking, taking pictures, and helping my mom with yard work. 

On one of the last days of June, I was at the pool again with Khloe and Daisy. We'd just arrived, and we were talking about the rest of the summer. 

"What are you doing the rest of this summer? Translated: How often can we hang out?" Daisy asked, looking at me and Khloe from the edge of the pool. 

I shrugged. "We aren't really going anywhere except up to Clipmore July fifth. We'll come back July eighth, we're just going to visit my grandparents." 

Khloe nodded. "We're going to Hawaii for a week in late July, so you two will be without me!" 

Daisy rolled her eyes, and I nodded. "Okay," Daisy replied, "I'm going to camp the first week in August, so I'll be gone then." 

After that there was a short lull in the conversation and I kicked my way down to the bottom of the ten foot section of the pool where we were talking. When I popped back up, Daisy and Khloe were both looking at me. 

"You're hair is wet," Khloe said, looking at my hair with narrowed eyes. 

I nodded. "I know, isn't it great?" 

Khloe shook her head and dramatically fingered her hair. "Not when chlorine bleaches out your blonde and turns it green!" 

I laughed. "True." My hair wasn't blonde like Khloe's or bright red like Daisy's, so I had no problem with chlorine bleaching out my hair. Mine was simply a light brown color, not super dark or super light. Average, basically. 

When I got home that afternoon, my parents were both in the driveway. My dad was kneeling down in front of the car, tools set in front of him. My mom was standing to the side of the car, looking at her phone. 

"What happened?" I asked. 

"The car's being weird, but your dad thinks he can fix it. I'm looking directions up for him," my mom replied. 

I nodded. "I'm going inside, okay?" 

"That's fine," my mom said, still looking at her phone. 

I carried my swimming things up to my room and laughed to myself, hoping Dad would get the car fixed before our trip to Clipmore. 

~~This is another story I'm writing~~ It will be posted on Sundays, and Hiding in My Head will be posted Thursdays~~

I woke up with a start, feeling the cold wooden floor on my cheek. Today was the day! We were finally moving to Hawaii! I'd been oddly excited about this day ever since my parents had announced we were moving there. Of course, there were business reasons. My father had been called to work in Hawaii just weeks earlier, and we'd been preparing to move ever since then. Of course, as any teenager would be, I was sad to be leaving my friends, but even more excited at the prospect of being able to see the ocean out my window, along with palm trees, and live in a cute yellow house that my father had described in detail to me after his visit to Hawaii earlier in June. 

"Adelaide!" I could hear my mother calling me from the lower level of our house. "Are you awake yet?" 

I sighed. I was awake, but still in my pajamas. "Yes!" I yelled back down. I quickly dressed in the outfit I'd chosen for moving day, kept out of the boxes that were probably down by the front door at the moment. I pulled on my new brown pants and a pink shirt.  I tied my sneakers, rolled up the blankets I'd slept on, and pounded downstairs. 

My mother and father were both looking at me when I emerged from upstairs. "Adelaide, do not run down the stairs. That's dangerous and not very ladylike." My mother was frowning at me. "And, your hair's a mess." 

"Mother, why does it matter? We're moving today anyways!" I retorted, knowing I'd get in trouble, but not caring. 

"Don't talk back to your mother, young lady," my father replied. 

I nodded and set my things by the front door, heading back upstairs to brush my hair. I brushed it quickly and did an exaggerated slow walk back down the stairs. Mother and Father were still at the kitchen table, and there was now a pancake sitting in my spot. I sat in my chair and began to eat. 

"Are you sure we're going to be able to fit all this in the trailer?" I asked. 

Father nodded. "Yes. And when we get on the boat, we'll keep it in the trailer when we park the car in the car area." 

"There's a car area?" I asked. Father nodded. "Oh, and how long will it take to get there?" 

Mother sighed. "Five days. We've been over this. We'll sleep and eat and everything on the boat." 

I nodded. "Okay," I said, and went back to my pancake. I thought about starting high school in Hawaii. Honolulu had a population of 180,000 people, which was huge compared to the 105,000 people I was used to in Sacramento. The high school I'd be attending come September was made up of 1,000 students and even that was a whole lot larger than my middle school, which had 200 students. 

I went back to being silent, since I didn't have any more pressing questions. For now, I figured, I could just wait until Mother and Father were ready to pack the car and the trailer. Mother and Father had told me earlier the route we'd be taking: We'd first drive to San Francisco, which would take about three hours, and at a port in San Francisco, we'd get on a really large boat, where we'd sail for five days until we reached Hawaii: Honolulu to be exact. Honolulu was about to be my new home! 

dear essie

when you are older

will you look back at me

with distaste

or with love,

or a bit of both?

dear essie,

when you are older

will you look back at me

and find what you are now

or something much worse?

or....something much better?

Flecks of gold

In your eyes

I just want them

To be focused on me

For once.

Gold

Is the color of the skies

When the sun goes down

But since we know

It'll rise again

We can try again.

Hello. My name is Magnolia. Call me Maggie. This is the story of the summer my entire life changed. 

My summer started out fine. It was a typical summer, days spent at the pool or the park, nights spent stargazing or biking around the neighborhood. 

I was fourteen. I'd just turned fourteen in April, and I was still getting used to the feeling of having graduated middle school. Three of the best years of my life, all behind me. High school would be a new beginning. But I'd only think that until, well, let's not talk about it yet. 

June started out with me and my best friends, Daisy and Khloe, at the city pool, where we could always be found during long, hot summer days. Daisy, as always, was just dipping her feet in. Khloe had her tan arms resting on the side of the pool and was lazily kicking the water behind her. I, of course, always being the adventurous one of my friends, was diving down to the lowest depth of the pool, all the way down to ten feet, while I tipped my head up, felt my hair flow, or opened my eyes for a second to see Daisy's painted toenails and Khloe's long brown legs. I'd always been jealous of Khloe's physique. She was muscular and athletic while I, even being the most adventurous and outgoing, was skinny and, as much as I hated to admit it, out of shape. Needless to say, my adventures weren't always physical. But I did love the occasional hike or whatever. Most of my "adventurous" title came from being the first to go on scary roller coasters, first to scale the tallest wall at the local rock climbing gym, etc. Simple stuff like that. 

I kicked my legs until I popped the surface of the water, splashing Daisy with water, making her squeal, and taking a deep breath. "What are you guys doing tomorrow?" I asked. 

Daisy looked at Khloe. "We're going to our soccer tournament, remember?" 

I nodded. "Of course. I forgot. Well, have fun. I don't know if I'll come to the pool or not, though." 

Khloe laughed. "And suffer the embarrassment of swimming without your friends? I wouldn't either." 

"Yeah, right. You know she would." Daisy narrowed her eyes at Khloe in a playful way. And that's why I loved the two of them. The three of us were always teasing each other, no matter what the situation. But we all enjoyed it, so it was fine with me. 

Daisy tipped her head back, closing her eyes and letting the sun warm her face. "I love coming to the pool," she said, and Khloe and I exchanged glances with each other. 

"Yeah, Daisy, you love it until there's real, actual water involved," I said, splashing her with a bit of water. 

Daisy rolled her eyes. "There is actual water involved. My feet are in it, remember?" 

I nodded and raised my eyebrows. Daisy and Khloe could be so dramatic sometimes. But then again, so could I. 

"On another note," Khloe added, "I canNOT believe we're going to be in high school in three months! Isn't that crazy?" 

Daisy and I nodded, agreeing. "Crazy," I said. 

"When are you going shopping for school clothes?" Daisy asked. 

I was about to answer but then I looked at Khloe. She was looking away. I knew her family didn't have a lot of money, so sometimes she couldn't spend money on things like back-to-school clothes like Daisy and I could. 

"Um," I said, "I don't know. When do you guys want to go?" 

Khloe pursed her lips. "Maybe later in the summer, like August. We might grow, or maybe not," She whispered the last part, looking at me. I stuck my tongue out at her. "And, I think I'm going to be babysitting for one of my neighbors this summer, so I'll have more money then." 

Daisy nodded. "Seems logical. Plus, we never know what new trends could reveal themselves over the summer." 

"Of course!" Khloe cried. "Are you even kidding me? Last summer, there was the black sneakers that we ALL had to have, Ulli's at the mall that opened in July, and THEN everybody started wearing stuff from there, and oh, my gosh, it was crazy." 

I rolled my eyes at Daisy. "Yup, Khloe, just like that." 

Khloe gave me a bored look. "And what are you going to buy? Adidas? Nike? Under Armour?" 

I shook my head. "Actually," I said, "I'm changing my style this year. No more athletic clothes and stuff like that. I'm going to wear nice clothes to school. I'll look classy."

"Classy," Daisy repeated, looking up at some birds that were flying by. "Classy. I like it. Very Maggie-like." 

"Just you wait and see," I said, "You'll see. It'll suit me." Then the whistle blew to signal the end of free-pool time, and Khloe and Daisy and I made our way to the exit. 

"I'll see you on Monday!" I waved goodbye to Daisy and Khloe, who would be competing in the soccer tournament for the city soccer team that weekend. We blew each other kisses, our standard farewell, and I kicked the kickstand back up on my bike, heading off to my house. 

"WAIT!" I heard from behind me and I turned around, stopping my bike. I sighed and saw it was my ten-year-old brother, Atticus. He was on his own bike with his towel slung over his shoulder. Mine was atop my head, tied around my hair in a turban-like style. I waited until Atticus had caught up to me and then I kept going. 

"Guess what, Mags?" Atticus asked. 

"What?" I replied, keeping my eyes ahead. 

"Today in the pool, one of my friends actually stayed underwater for a minute! A whole minute, can you believe that?" 

I nodded. "Yes, I can." One time, Khloe had stayed underwater for fifty seconds. I'd counted. I knew a minute was reachable, but I'd never tried it myself. Too scary. I could see myself passing out and then drowning. 

When Atticus and I reached home, we shoved our bikes up against the edge of the garage wall so our parents' cars could fit in when they came home. My mom worked as a nurse at the local hospital, and my dad was a teacher preparing for the coming school year. 

Atticus opened the front door with his house key and our little white Pomeranian dog, Sasha, greeted us with many kisses and a lot of jumping. Atticus bent down to pet her hello, and I went upstairs to shower and change out of my swimsuit. I could hear Atticus in his bathroom downstairs, singing a Beatles song at the top of his lungs, and I rolled my eyes and shut my bathroom door. I turned the shower on and tipped my head down, letting the warm water run over my hair and my body. 

I got out of the shower and quickly changed into shorts and a t-shirt. I didn't really care how I looked, as I'd just be staying home the rest of the night. 

When I got downstairs, Atticus was sitting on the couch, reading one of the books from the Hypnotics series, his new obsession. I'd read them once. They weren't enjoyable. 

I went back up to my room and logged into my computer. I went straight to Instagram to check my new pool posts from a few days earlier. Khloe and Daisy and I'd done a pool "photo shoot" with my new camera and we'd all posted some of the pictures on Instagram. 

I smiled. The picture I'd taken of Khloe by the side of the pool had received 203 likes. The picture of Daisy's feet in the water had 178 likes. And the one of me underwater had received 256 likes! I spun around in my desk chair. I was so grateful to have so many friends going into high school. Yes, I'd been one of the more "popular girls" in middle school, but it's not like I was mean or anything. The other girls just liked my Instagram pictures, sat by me and some other "popular" girls at lunch, and texted each other a lot. Yeah, there'd been girls in my grade who were more "excluded," like Darby Meyers or Kalina Ericks, but they were honestly weird. 

I logged off my computer and shut it when I heard the garage door open. Either this meant Dad had come home early or Mom was home to cook dinner. 

Magnolia (Maggie) Ramon is living her best life. She's just graduated eighth grade, and her summer is off to a great start. Hanging out with her besties at the pool everyday, and biking down the streets at night is her definition of a good time.

But when a traumatic event sends Maggie spiraling into the world of her own thoughts, she starts high school in a haze and her friends start to doubt her friendship to them.

With the help of her therapist, a journal, and an unlikely friend, can Maggie regain her freedom and carefree spirit?

The skies.

They are telling me not to sleep.

They are telling me to die.

The ash.

It is raining down like black diamonds

Leaving behind nothing but an orange flash.

Lava.

Running down the streets,

Chasing my old friends,

People I don't know,

And soon it will come for me.

And take me to my death.

Sometimes I think about my former life,

and then I wonder: was that really me?

was it really me, the one who was so attached

and now is broken and riddled with holes

Sometimes I want to go back

And then I think, i'm better off now than I was then

Maybe it was meant to be

Maybe the new me is really me