Where are you going to Hope Anne?

Why are you looking so fine?

Don’t you worry none Hope Anne?

I know you were never mine

You didn’t know the day I found you

Was the worst day of my life

My world had crashed around me

I felt the sharp edge of the knife

But you gave me your attention

And I held onto it tight

Like a light into the darkness

Like a becon in the night

Where are you going to Hope Anne?

Why are you looking so fine?

Don’t you worry none Hope Anne

I know you were never mine

I never took one day for granted

Because I knew one day you’d go

I kept the things you gave me

and I wanted you to know

You helped me through my troubles

You helped me through the storm

I’m on the other side now

Where I am safe and warm

Where are you going to Hope Anne?

Why are you looking so fine?

Don’t you worry none Hope Anne

I know you were never mine

I think and therefore I am. I am aware of myself and therefore I am. I feel deeply and therefore I am. But what am I? I am an Intricate Machine. I am not made with wires. I am not made with metal or plastic. I was not designed in a lab somewhere but I am still a machine. I have inputs that tell me about the world around me. I have eyes to see what is around me and where I am going. I have ears to listen to vibrations that travel through the air. I have hands with the ability to feel and distinguish if something is smooth or rough. I can put something in my mouth and determine whether is it sweet or bitter. These inputs travel to my brain. My brain is the central processing system of my body. My brain takes these inputs and performs calculations on them. Based on parameters inside my brain, my brain decides what actions to take based on the results of the calculations. I have outputs to affect the world around me. I have feet that can move me from one place to another. I have hands that allow me grab things and manipulate them. I have a voice and allows me to send sound waves through the air. This is the process of any machine, the recieve inputs, process those inputs, and then output something. I can only produce outputs that are the results of the calculations my brain makes. There are parameters currently set in my brain. Can those parameters change? Absolutely. The things that my input sensors deliver to my central processing center can change the parameters. There are also triggers that are internally built in that can change them. I think I have a will. I think my will is free but the truth is that I can only do things based on the inputs and parameters that are currently set in my brain.

Would you care to dance?

I love the mask you are wearing

It looks so amazing

It jump starts my imagination

I want to examine it, your mask

all the intricate details captivate me

You have used it effectively to capture my attention

Now I want you to take it off

I want to see the real you

Are you afraid to take off your mask?

Are you afraid I wont find your real face as beautiful?

Will I recoil in horror when I find out who you really are?

Do you like my mask?

I put it on just for you

Does the mask I wear impress you?

Do you like all the intricate details I've carved into my mask?

Have I used it effectively to capture your attention?

Do you want me to take it off?

I can't wear my mask forever

Would you think my real face is just as beautiful?

The dance is just about over

You've been a delightful partner

When I take off my mask

will you recoil in horror when you find out who I really am?

I sat down at the table for two. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating. I sat with my back as straight as I could. My breathing was uneven. Across the table from me sat a beautiful woman. At least I thought she was beautiful. She seemed calm and her eyes penetrated deep into my soul. I didn’t know how that was possible and it kept me off balance. I felt uneasy. I had been waiting to speak with her for a long time but now that she was here, I could hardly bare to look at her. I had questions but I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to know the answers.

She just looked at me. It was like she was studying me. At first her face was like stone but after a few minutes it softened. Then tears started rolling down her face. She was still silent though.

I finally asked the question. “Why did you give me up?” I tried to keep my voice even but I was not successful.

She waited a few minutes before she answered me. “The simple answer is that I was young and stupid.” she replied, “Everybody wanted me to terminate the pregancy” she continued, “but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

I didn’t know how to react to this statement. The woman who gave birth to me was telling me that eveybody wanted her to murder me, but she didn’t do it. She had the legal right to decide if I lived or died and she let me live.

she continued speaking. “Once you were born, I couldn’t take care of you. So I gave you to somebody who could. I think about you everyday of my life and sometimes I wish things were different. But once we make our choices we have to live with them.” She stopped talking and waited to see what my reaction would be.

When I learned that I was adopted. I wanted to find out who my birth mother was. I had thought about what I would say to her a thousand times but now that the moment was here, I didn’t know what to say. A lot of emotions were running through my body and it was hard to settle on a response. I finaly said simply, “Thank you”. My voice was soft and low and I wasn’t sure that she heard me.

I could have been harsh with her. I had thought about it but when those eyes pentrated my soul all my resentmet left me. I couldn’t imagine what this woman had to go through to make sure I survived. Emotion overwhelmed me. I got up from my chair and walked over to where she was sitting. I got on my knees and put my arms around her waist. I then put my head in her lap and started crying. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

She stroked my hair with one of her hands and I asked her my other question.

“Please don’t leave me.” I pleaded.

“I won’t” she replied.

It's easy to fall in love

You don't believe me?

Everybody has a type that their attracted to

and your no different

When that person walks by

The person who is your type

your heart races a bit

even though you don't know them

You become interested

even if it's only for a moment

but you walk on by

because you don't know them

It's easy to fall apart

I know you believe me

To think about someone all the time

and you don't even know them

to be distracted all the time

and make stupid decisions

because your attracted to someone

and you don't even know them

To ache inside and know there's nothing you can do

that you can barely function

and it seems utterly ridiculous

because you don't even know them

Could somebody be in love with you?

and you don't even know them

Could somebody be falling apart for you?

and you don't even know them

Millions of times a day, somebody is falling in love with someone

and falling apart for someone

and they don't even know them

Day 1 - Our lifeboat ran aground on some tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Water as far as the eye can see. Since I didn't have time to pack my bags before our ship sank, I'm stuck with the same clothes for like forever. That's going to really suck. I'm not alone though. There was one other person on the lifeboat with me. I thought we got along pretty well but it turns out my 'freind' doesn't even like me. I hate it when that happens because she's really nice to look at. We got into an argument about something and she said she would rather take her chances with the sharks than stay here with me. Some kind of self preservation thing must have kicked in though because she didn't do it.

Day 2 - My plans for my personal island resort has hit a huge snag. It turns out I can't find anything sharp to cut with. Where is the Fed Ex package that washes up on shore conviently holding an ice skate when you need it? My 'friend' is complaining that I have no survival skills. My 'friend' also has no survival skills but when I metion it she says that we're talking about me at the moment and not her and my attempts to change the subject will not be effective.

Day 3 - I'm starting to get really hungry now. Anyone considering going on the hunger fast diet I would beg you to reconsider. There are small animals that might make a good snack running around but I have had no luck in capturing one. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't have anything sharp to stab them with. The good news is that there is nothing large running around that might want to eat me for a snack. We did find some berries to eat. I was going to pop one into my mouth when my 'friend' pointed out that they could be poisonous. She had a point so I suggested that she eat one first, just to make sure. If that icy stare she gave me was real ice I would have been frozen solid. I was only kidding but I guess some people can't take a joke.

Day 4 - My clothes are really starting to smell now. When you can smell yourself, you know you really stink. Since we are probably going to be here a long time, I've been trying to get along with my 'friend' but she has been keeping her distance. I was thinking a nice hot shower would be good but all we have is an icy pond. I refuse to go into it though because you never know what is lurking just below the surface.

Day 5 - I forgot to mention that there is an active volcano on the island. At least I think it's active. It makes funny noises all the time but so far it hasn't blown it's top. There is a flowing stream where we are getting all of our drinking water from. So far we haven't had any ill effects from it. We just try not to think that some animal might be using it for a toilet.

Day 6 - I think my 'freind' might be realizing that she doesn't want to go stark raving mad and that she will have to accept that I'm the only other person alive that she can talk to. So she has started talking my ear off. It was pretty cool at first, but I think my brain is overloaded now. btw. I ate the berries anyway and I guess I just lucked out because I haven't fallen over dead yet.

Day 7 - I still haven't gotten a word in edgewise with my 'freind'. I'm starting to think that maybe we arn't compatable. She's still nice to look at though and at least that's something. I would hate to be stuck on an island with someone you couldn't stand to look at, but I suppose you would get use to it over time.

Day 8 - A ship passed by us today. I had no way to signal them to rescue us so I just sat on the beach and watched my old life flash before my eyes. My 'freind' started shouting at the top of her lungs and waving her arms frantically. She was saying something about not being able to stand another day on this island with me but I can't say for sure that's what she said because I had stopped paying much attention to her at that point. It must have worked though because the ship stopped and rescued us. That had to be the worst week of my entire life.

The next series of events happened unceremoniously, they received the details of the upcoming task and were rushed back into the normal routine; not given a moment alone, not even a little. Kani suspected they did this so the recruits had no time to process what just happened, that these men who trained them for months were intending to pit them against eachother in an orchestrated Military death match.

Even when the cold air of the morning stabbed into her lungs like a thousand white hot needles, she couldn’t wrap her head around what was happening. It didn’t seem real. The twelve miles they ran seemed like a few blinks and when the Sun had risen, their fatigues laced with sweat and gasping for air was about all they had enough energy for.

Kani was not going to let that much stop her, a little exhaustion did nothing to slow down her wit, it only inhibited her ability to talk and it was not as though she enjoyed her company enough to share her suspicions with them.

First Platoon was at least two cycles ahead of Third Platoon, which meant that from the beginning they were at a disadvantage. It was never too much difference, but what Third lacked at the moment was any sense of cohesion: they didn’t work together, in fact the first series of exercises they performed were tailored to pit them against eachother. Bloodied noses, blackened eyes and broken fingers were the most brutal of injuries they suffered at their own hands, though there was one instance of Instructor Swiderski ‘demonstrating’ a proper take-down that left another boy, George, in the medical wing for four days.

Instructor Thomas was never one to meddle in metaphors, he chose his words carefully and used them directly; he would never say the phrase ‘kill’ unless they had to kill, and never warn them of death, unless there was a genuine threat of death.

“What do you say Recruits!?” Instructor Swiderski stepped out along the dirt road, breathing deep as if relishing their suffering and looking over at another large, winding way: Agony Hill. A route that was twice the length of the one they had just completed and looped back around to the barracks, but it had earned it’s namesake from causing a large majority of leg injuries. The Instructors loved it.

“Let’s see how many of you can keep up with Instructor Swiderski.” It was Instructor Thomas stepping forward now, alongside his fellow to observe the droves of panting, exhausted men and women. It never ceased to amaze Kani how profound their physical stamina was; they were barely breaking a sweat, hadn’t the slightest hitch in their breath and were still revving to keep going.

She knew what this was, but that did not stop her from mentally punching both of them in their smug, square faces. Instead, she alongside all the other Recruits replied in kind. “For Requiem!!!”

It was Third Platoon’s creed, their battle motto. It was almost amusing, if it wasn’t for the tragedy that was Requiem. Kani had never had a proper education, but from what stories she heard over a cackling fire from a clearly demented old man, she understood a little.

‘There once was a city, a city whose name is lost…’ She recited in her head as the Platoon rushed in chase of Instructor Swiderski, trying to gauge his pace and maintain stride. ‘A colony settled on a lone Rogue Planet, creating Artificial Light that turned a dead rock, into one capable of sustaining life. After all that terraforming stuff went through, I guess…’ Recruit after Recruit fell out of the pace, the tall Instructor must have been part machine for how effectively he was leaving them behind. ‘One day, that special Light of theirs went out… along with every single life on the planet. An entire Colony, silenced overnight. When everything settled, a single probe was sent to respond to a distress beacon… and all it found was a dark, dead planet… devoid of all life. Thus, the city and later the planet… was named Requiem.’

Why they had decided to take the motto of a planet that suffered an unknown casualty was beyond her, but she was already well past making sense of anything that happened anymore.

Before she knew it, her boots thumped across the ‘finish line’, which was just Instructor Swiderski waiting for them after he had gained too much distance to be seen. Ronald crossed first to no surprise, George followed shortly after him, Kani placed smack in the middle of the head pack only a few paces behind George and pulling up the rear, the last one to cross was Jora.

The lead four all broke off to gasp; George dropping to a knee to vomit a strange mixture of partially digested breakfast and fluids. He was a strange guy, taller than most of the Recruits by a full head, skinny and a midnight tint to his dark skin—Kani was under the impression that he was their best runner, but today Ronald proved himself to once again be the perfect, superior soldier.

She could feel her eyes roll unintentionally and lay directly over Jora, who had been glaring at her for quite some time now. She didn’t bother addressing it, the unnaturally pale girl was maybe a year or two older than Kani, stronger and certainly more violent; her blonde hair cropped short, a strange scar darted from brow to past her hairline. One wrong comment and she might find herself getting beaten bloody in her bunk later that night, a mistake she did not intend to make twice, last time she almost lost her favorite tooth.

The other Recruits came by after a few minutes, some barely managing to pass the disgruntled looks of Instructor Swiderski.

The final one was Issy, though strangely enough he did not look all that tired to Kani. Maybe he lost interest in the game and just ran comfortably all the way here, not pushing himself for some invisible, petty reward? Swiderski caught eye of him, gave him a look that Kani did not quite understand.

“Alright Recruits, fall in!” Swiderski shouted and they complied instantly, shuffling to their allotted lines and standing stiff, despite their collective lack of breath.

“Recruits step forward as I call your names! Ronald! George! Kani! And Jora!”

The line stepped forward collectively, shoulder to shoulder and waited.

“…Recruit Issy, step forward!”

Kani’s eyes darted off to the side, hearing his listless step forward. Swiderski did not seem to care about Kani’s confusion, and carried on.

“You have just promoted yourselves to Squad Leaders.”

Ronald seemed confused, speaking out of turn. “But Instructor Swiderski, I’m the Platoon Leader…!”

Swiderski considered this for a moment, before cracking that strange smile of his. “Well then, let me correct myself Recruit Ronald, you just demoted yourself to Squad Leader…” He gave him a moment, stepping forward until his cap pressed firmly into Ronald’s forehead. “..and if you ever so much as speak out of turn again, they will have to invent a new Medical Procedure to remove my foot from your ass.”

The words seemed well enough to stop Ronald’s complaints in their tracks.

“Now, as I was saying… Ronald, you’ll have 1st Squad. George, 2nd Squad. Kani, 3rd Squad and Jora will have Weapons Squad.”

There was a looming silence, they looked amongst eachother, before Issy performed the same thing he always did and spoke out of turn, without consequence.

“What exactly am I doing, Sir?”

The silence returned, louder this time.

Finally, Swiderski spoke again, the same confident smile. “You are going to be leading the Zero Squad, Recruit Issy.”

(Author's Note: Chapter One can be found on profile.)