The Battle of Waterlooser
Seventeen - wide-eyed and eager
Talked shit in school and flexed in the mirror
Circulated Jugs! fold-outs with wary refrain
Traded playboys like we were handling cocaine
in a prison yard meant for recovering drug addicts -
take a shot and then stare at their...fit physiques.
And then I met her, pretty girl, blue eyes
Saw her jump in physed and thought it was wise
to talk her up, play it cool - yeah I'm the coolest in this perch
I've done ALL the sex things; yes I got kicked out of church
(I'm not really Christian but does that really matter)
I'll take you out for dinner and SEX - I'll eat the latter
Okay, so now we're in my COOL KID room
About to have SEX on my BED - did I speak too soon?
No? You're excited? Omg, same!
I mean I've done this a lot but haha, I'm game
Ok so you DEFINITELY take of your shirt
and I'm telling you in advance - it'll (probably) hurt
but that just means I'm VERY BIG
Got some liquor? Yes? Let's take a swig -
Ok, where were we? Ah, yes!
How could I forgot? We were going to SEX!
I'm a KNIGHT, ready to FIGHT for my princess
Did you bring paper towels? To clean up the mess?
ok now shirts off, pants down, my time to SHINE
except that day
my sword
forgot how to rise.
Worst. One nighter. Ever.
He said no
I didn't caress his smouldering form -
I sucked his dick.
In the corner stall of the men's toilet
Quickly, before the bus leaves
a quick series of transactions
crouching, unzipping, squinting, grabbing
my back pressed against the plastic wall
my mind more occupied with the lack of hygiene
than the motion of his sinking underwear.
It ended, and I asked him if he had a mint.
He said no.
Neither did we make love for the first time -
we had sex.
In his bedroom
Slowly, because his parents were away
a quick series of apologies
for the bed, the laundry, the heat
before he mounted me
leg pressing into leg
arms sliding in uncomfortable positions
chest heaving up and down
Anatomy. Nothing but anatomy.
We disposed of the formality of foreplay;
went straight for the kill.
He fumbled, I winced, he apologized, I sighed
He found what he was looking for and
latched on.
Anatomy. Nothing but anatomy.
I stared at the glow-in-the-dark planets on his ceiling
and wondered when they had stopped glowing.
It ended, and I asked him if he would have my children.
He said no.