"you told me i was shattered"

my glass shards cut you,

and i'm sorry.

once upon a time

i was a stained glass window

but you broke me.

even so,

you didn't deserve

the slices

that your damage

inflicted

on us.

Her touches set fire that must be cloaked

I cannot breathe for love of her

Do not, expose the awful truth

Disguise the pounding in my chest

Even my trembling lips betray “us”

Not now, but perhaps in time

Lest hope be forlorn

Oft I’ve begged Fate

Vice tis not, nor ever was

Everything in her arms, eyes and heart

i love her but

i must

scrub off her scent

her touch

because no one can know

where my lips have been

no one can know where her fingers

have traced along my skin

you told me i was shattered

right from the start

the truth is

i was born whole

and you broke me into shards

i think i might be gay

i think i might be gay

i don’t have any idea

what i could ever say

to convince you it’s okay

i think i might be gay

but i don’t want to

pray it all away

i’m not like you anymore

i don’t have any faith

i tried

i really did

to hold it all in

to give it all up

to the one who

i’m supposed to love

but i don’t trust you

or your god at all

i’m tired of pretending

to be something that I’m not

look into my eyes

i’m the same person you’ve always known

please don’t leave me behind

just because i’ve grown

maybe you don’t recognize me

but i finally feel free

and if you can’t accept that

i guess your unconditional love

has conditions

wouldn’t you agree?

I write because if I don't my emotions will bleed out of me.

I write to shine a light on all the things hiding inside of me.

I write when I feel so heavy that I think I might break.

I write to understand all of my broken pieces and mistakes.

I write when I don't know how to get people to listen.

I write because I need to know that somebody will listen.

I write to let out the jumbled mess inside of me.

I write in hopes that one day I will finally feel free.