"My love... was not supposed to make you cry."

Disconnected

This wall was not expected

But after all my introspection

And your own deflection

I've come to terms

You don't deserve my time

You don't deserve my space

You don't deserve my kindness

You don't deserve this face

My boundaries have been set

Requirements not met

You're wasting so much time

Commit an apathetic crime

Disrespected

This bitterness was not expected

But after all my introspection

And your own projection

I'm closing down

I don't deserve your words

I don't deserve your guilt

I don't deserve your demons

I don't deserve to wilt

But my love is still in reach

I've yet to load the breech

You're still wasting so much time

Commit an apathetic crime

We're out of time.

"My love... was not supposed to make you cry."

Maybe one day, I’ll be fine

Maybe someday, I’ll find mine

Maybe one day, when our paths collide, you won’t even recognize me

And if the earth should break in two

Please... know my love was true

I’ll think of you & us & all that could have been & should have been

The wounds are dark & never healing

The lies were beautiful & so revealing

Betrayal is razorblades against my skin & poison in my wine

But maybe one day, I’ll be fine

Maybe someday, I’ll find mine

And maybe light will shine through the cracks in our masks

Upon this ledge, my wings evolve

And in this sky, my problems solved

The sun will melt away my fears & wind will carry all this guilt away

In the end, it’s no one’s fault

Connections wither to a halt

It’s not our time & never was, but don’t erase the past

I think that one day, I’ll be fine

That in the future, I’ll find mine

This blood I bleed to free my thoughts of you & live again

There’s a happiness I feel when I'm with you

A satisfying peace I never knew

And all this time, I’ve tried to run away

But now, I’ve found a good reason to stay

Your emerald eyes may judge, but out of love

You see in me what I don't see enough

Your claws are set so deep in me, I'll never be the same

Old memories shine when I speak your name

I swore I'd never let one in again

My older wounds still need more time to mend

But then I saw your face & couldn't leave

I never thought that you'd be what I need

You're pawing at the string I'm danagling on

Yanking on my leash when I've withdrawn

And even though my better days are not a guarantee

You somehow find the love to carry me

I made these wings to soar so high

I left a note to say goodbye

I never meant to break your heart

These dirty wings will fall apart

They find my pieces on the ground

A body cold

A mind unsound

I sing a final song to you

A thousand truths I wish they knew

A loaded gun with loaded charms

Please hold me in your fire-arms

I'm sick of thoughts with thoughtless words

Prayers from the godless, I have heard

And now I have done all I can

I wish that they could understand

But maybe in another life

I could try to make things right

I'd build a place for us to live

With love that grows & hands that give

Our stars above will light the sky

And there we'll never wish to die

You see the void behind my eyes, but you still don't understand

I wasn't built to save this world because my sanity cannot withstand

The dirty writing on the wall has the messages all wrong

I'm floating through the days & nights while my heart remains headstrong

You sang the sweetest nothings, smooth as honey, dipped in cream

This faulty love connection put your flaws in my bloodstream

Once two halves, but now a whole, we have sinned the greatest sin

You gave my words to someone else, but I carved yours in my skin

An endless stream of nonsense you were feeding through my skull

I tried to break the cycle, but my struggle came back null

You know you've won the battle & soon you'll be coming back for more

But I've the upperhand this time, so I will never lose this war

I want a love so deep that I drown in your kiss.

I want a love so deep, but that doesn't exist.

I'm searching for something that I'll never find.

The world moves ahead while my heart stays behind.

I've been fooled in the past into thinking they're right.

I've exhausted my efforts to keep up the fight.

I'm now content in this room where I don't hear a sound.

This love that I want, I've been forced to put down.

You don't get to lie & get away with it

You don't get to hold my heart & play with it

You said I should've moved on knowing that you weren't alright

But at the time, I loved you, so I did put up a fight

I've thought of ways to kill you, but I know you wish to die

I've considered ways to hurt you, make you relapse, get you high

The darkest thoughts that one could have evoked inside of me

You've opened up my closet doors & let the beast roam free

And I'm enjoying it

And I'm employing it

It's satisfying

It's fortifying

I let you inside to see my fear

I let you inside with false revere

I wrote my feelings down onto a crumpled piece of paper

The meaning of the words I bleed will soon begin to taper

You wrap your hands around my throat to watch the life displace

The final frame before the fade is of your angel face

Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want

You're so fucking special & so fucking nonchalant

And your enjoying it

And your employing it

It's satisfying

It's fortifying

I wanna die here

Dead in your arms

I wanna lie here

Killed by your charms

I would gladly take your hand

Let you lead me down to Hell

Where I'll pay for all my sins

And the lies you know so well

I am a martyr to your baggage

Still ignoring every flag

But when you put the blame on me

I'll put you in a body bag

Ignored the sign

Consumed by sadness

I drank the wine

Seduced by madness

Incineration

Desecration

This conversation

A sick predation

My limitations

Impure creations

Sinful mutations

My heart's luxation

Your ego's inflation

Aberration

With captivation

Communication

No compensation

Termination

Of stimulation

Fucked fornication

Your deviation 

No motivation

Endless cunctation

Contamination

Emotional starvation

Eternal damnation

Building frustration

Anticipation

Of my salvation

Infatuation

Daily libation 

The vindication

Of this temptation

Manipulation

No destination

Living here is a bust.. withering trust

I've broken down... now

Beaten so good... bloody & blue

I'm lying again... because of you

Dropped out of sight.. nowhere to be found

I know she's right.. now

Starved for affection... well, that's my infection

Dropped at the edge.. of time

Running ahead... marching in place

You've turned your back, so you won't see my face

Drawing the line... we never did

Now, here we are... both jaded