I don't think you understand

I love her more than anything

I love her in such a unique and special way

My love can never be copied or stolen

I love her like the Moon loves the Sun

Admiring from afar

Not able to kiss, Not able to touch

I love her like the shore loves the ocean

Waiting day and night for her return

But in the same way that the Sun will never return the Moon's affections

And the same way that the Ocean leaves and comes back and then leaves once more

She does not love me

She does not sit and write poems about me as I do for her right now

She does not admire from a far, hoping to catch a glance

She does not anticipate my return

And I realize only now

Only in writing this

I need to give her up

We are eaters.

We'll eat away at everything, until there is nothing left.

With no regard for feelings or boundaries.

We'll never be satisfied.

We'll just consume until we burst.

After a certain point I got used to you letting me down

I got used to that one empty seat in the school's auditorium

Waiting around for the "sorry kiddo, couldn't make it" text became a routine

Sure, it hurt when you stopped apologizing for your absence

But, I had gotten used to you letting me down

It wasn't even surprising that you didn't call on my birthday

I've gotten better at not expecting an invitation to your house for holidays

Accepted that you have no interest in who I am

In return, I block out Father's day and deleted your contact

Which is ridiculous, because it's one of the only ones I have memorized

I used to think you were just incapable of doing the things other dads did

Until I saw that you were just incapable of doing them with me

muted

numb

colorful

overgrown

excruciating

intense

dull

misery

anguish

fear

mold

suffering

abandoned

alone

alienated

isolated

rust

torn

haunting

enormous

starving

ghostly

peaceful

violent

slow

weak

suffocating

lonely

drowning

addicting