october 24

I'm such a lucky girl to know the people i have as friends! i'm so lucky that i get through things i would have given up on. made it through so many bad days and the sun's always shining; the sky's always pretty; someone is happy and laughing somewhere.

and on another day that someone is gonna be you or me or both of us. because life is full of spectacular things and so are you. like a treasure trove of sweetness, goodness, truth. we are never as empty as we feel. even sadness is a kind of fullness, an opening of ourselves to the world; the expanse of the universe rushing in, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes uplifting.

life carries us in waves sometimes. but there's beauty under and above the water. i don't know how not to rejoice. i want to never again forget to be grateful. i'm so lucky, with my braces and my skin, someone never forgets to remind me that he loves me. i have good meals even if i regret eating them. i have things i never needed to ask for. i wake up to new surprises. i wake up sad sometimes and come home almost crying, awed, wondering how i could have ever quietly wished to die.