sting

i can’t understand why my brain won’t move on

sometimes it feels like he locked me in a room and threw away the key

and i’ve built myself walls to forget where i am

but god i can hear him screaming the awful things he did

and i feel so guilty sometimes

as if everything was my fault

and i panic and wonder if he ever loved me

i panic and wonder if this will ever go away because i am suffocating

in my own guilt

that i shouldn’t even feel

i am suffocating in my own guilt even though my shooting star is there

how can i pull myself back up when i have no foothold

i feel so lost now, and i can’t find a map

he ruined my body and my innocence and now he is ruining my sleep

he is ruining me over and over again and i don’t know what to do

god please help me

-elled