The broken bits

My fingernails are filled with blood,

My face burns with the trails of my scratches,

My desperate attempts to dig deeper have failed,

My cocoon clings too tight to my body,

I try to cut down the threads moving my limbs, but without them I’d fall,

I try to break free from the curse given to me, but to her I am the curse itself,

I pray one day I will gather the strength to rip this façade away, but all I am is a shelter to her,

I scrub the smile away to no avail, for I am only a cover for the girl underneath,

To me there is something brighter beneath the surface,

To me there is too much of a risk bringing her out,

To others she may be a threat,

To others her light must be put out,

But my fingers itch to break free from this prison,

But my thoughts linger on the girl who’s trapped by her own light,

But still, the puppet master refuses to let me take the reins,

But I can tell he’s wavering with each futile attempt,

Because I don’t know who we’d become,

Because I don’t know what evil would corrupt us,

Because we’ve spent our whole life carefully constructing this beautiful illusion,

Because without it we’re as monotone as everyone else - we’re human,

I wish I had the courage to will this mannequin out of existence,

I wish I had the wisdom to caress the girl out of her shell without fear,

I wish I could slip my unblemished hand in her disfigured one,

I wish I could let her consume me so we can become one,

For my ligaments are tearing with the effort of holding us both inside,

For my heart can’t keep beating for the both of us,

For I know she’d do anything for me,

For she’s as afraid as I am of her seeing the outside world,

Who will break her out if not me?

Who will she cry on and who will I rely on?

Who is she going to love?

Who is going to become her safe haven?

Am I the one who has to break her out?

Am I the person who must lead her into the darkness and let her illuminate hearts?

Am I going to be forgotten as she meets new people?

Am I going to be used and thrown away?

Are they going to stay with us after they find out who we really are?

Are they going to feel the same way about us?

Are we doomed to fail after we patch up all the broken parts?

Are we too late to find out what our reflection looks like once we are one?

Should I give up?

Should I stop promising her I will bring her out of the skin I am trapping her in?

Should we keep hiding her?

Should we learn to live together?

Meet the girl who I’ve been trapping, that’s how I’ll introduce her,

Meet the person who’s hoping you’ll love her,

Meet our friends, I’ll whisper to her,

Meet the people who will always love me more than you,

Can she really beat me at what I do best?

Can she really fit into the empty space between all the other puzzle pieces?

Can she and I remain as one after others accept her?

Can she still love me after she’s gotten a taste of the body she’s in?

Run away from her, she’s uncontrollable,

Run away from her, I can’t contain her for much longer,

Run from the person who’s too broken not to pierce your skin and make you cry,

Run from the person who’s so broken she hurts herself even when she doesn’t mean to,

Run from the person who I really am.

Maybe It’s The Broken Bits I Fear  Will Amend,  And Show My Cursed Reflection.