Lyla

Lyla

She was gone, and we had been in my car for 2 hours looking for her. Dylan sat beside me, holding my hand.

“We’ll find her.” He told me for the twelfth time. I nodded like I did the other times and wiped the mascara off of my cheeks. Why did I have to say it the way I did?

★

She walked through the door with John at her side. I swear she was like her damn dog. He’s always liked her. You can see it. It pissed her off when I pulled on her ear. Then she just walked away. When we got to her room. I could feel Dylan trying to pull me away from her. She unpacked her bag like I wasn't even there. Mom wasn’t home, it’s not like she could help me with this. Instead of sitting at her desk, she sat on her bed.

“Mom paid a shit ton of money for that desk and chair.” I crossed my arms. Dylan turned and went into our room.

“I just want to sit on my bed. Is that a crime, your majesty?” Her eyes rolled for probably the tenth time.

“Gabriella Alicia Grace!” My feet stomped over to her and grabbed her wrist. She squeaked, looking at me.

“I’m no damn queen or some bully. I’m your sister. You can’t give everyone else around you hell because you're feeling like it. I don’t understand why you can’t just be happy for once. You drag this whole family down! We don’t need you to be so damn sad all the time! You make me wish I never got married because of how you act. Listen, I didn’t pick your birthday just because I wanted to. The people that we were inviting were only free on your birthday. Not everything is about you, Gabriella. I have to deal with your shit daily. Just stop it.” The front door closed, letting me know Mom is home from work, but this didn’t stop me. “You’re making Mom and I worry. I can’t go through putting you into a hospital again.” My voice broke. Gabriell didn’t care. She just turned her head and pulled her hood on. I spun around and slammed the door. Dylan stood there, waiting with his arms open for me. I fell in, sobbing.

We only knew she was missing when we called her phone. The only thing that scared me was Mom. What would happen to her if Gabriella died? Dylan squeezed my hand tighter as we turned the corner. John’s Street. Maybe she did this on purpose. Acting all depressed and what not to get his attention. John, for anything, would probably kill his mom for Gabriella. I'm sure he would. I don’t know or care how they met. All I know is one day she just had this boy over 24/7. Even when they were little, they didn’t bother me this much. The two of them would watch a bunch of moves and binge shoes together, but they would never talk. Dylan and I couldn’t stop talking when we were their age. Of course, whenever Gabriella would come around, Dylan would talk to her and ignore that I existed. I hope no one could see that it bothered me, because I really wanted to throw her out the window whenever she came over to talk to us. She sits next to him and welcome home. Only one day, they stopped. This was also the day Dylan stopped trying to talk to her. They both said nothing happened, but I doubted it. When Dylan and I were on our honeymoon, he told me he stopped talking to her because she just wanted nothing to do with him after the two of us got engaged. She never told me why she stopped talking to him. John also stopped telling me things.

We got out of the car and knocked on the door. John answered after a few more times I knocked. He stretched and said hi to us.

“Do you know where Gabriella is?” Dylan’s hand tapped on his leg as the words left my mouth. John scoffed.

“So now you care about where she is? Before you only cared if she was going to be bothering you. You’re just doing this to feel good about yourself. I bet you eel like some fucking hero.” he shook his head and slammed the door. Dylan whispered he saw her, but I didn’t speak. The entire drive home, his words looped in my head. Once Dylan opened the front door for me, I was done. My memory of the rest of the night is blurry. Dylan held me and fell asleep before me. Mom wouldn't look at me that night. Am I really a bad person?

Dad threw Gabriella into the air, making her giggled. Mom brushed my hair and laughed at them. We used to be a family. Everything was so much simpler back then. We were all actually happy. For Gabriella's fifth birthday, Dad dressed up as a giant bunny and stayed that way all day. He died a week later. Mom kept telling us that how he died was an accident, I never believed her. Gabriella doesn’t know the truth. I do. He kissed all of us goodbye before he left for ‘work’ that morning. He never came home. The police found him in the mass drain at the center of town, face down in the water. Mom didn’t know I was home when she was crying at the table as she read a letter. I was 12, but knew a lot from the crime shows that Dad and I would watch. He had gotten high, drunk, overdosed, and ended up falling into the drain and dying.

‘I’ve always loved the girls in my life. How could I not? You, the amazing, loyal, beautiful, dependable, Lucy have been there my entire life and longer. My heart aches when you cry. I love you. Don’t tell Gabby, but I was the one that broke her favorite stuffy, not Lyla. Tell Lyla she needs to not let the dumb voices in her head get her down. It sucks when you do. When Gabriella gets married, I want to be there. Lyla too. But I can’t. They’ll hate me. Lyla will find love. Gabby might not consider her fear of talking to people, but I hope she does. Love, you are the reason I fought for so long. They’ll find me face down somewhere and tell you that you’ll be okay.’ He ended it like that. Mom felt like a failure. She stopped smiling around the house for a long time. Then it was like she forgot out of nowhere. Like Dad never died or existed. She helped me with homework, my hair, make-up, when I got my first period. She was actually being a mother. Gabriella always said when she was little, angels took her Dad to test his strength. She would never tell us why though. Mom started working at a grocery store as a cashier and moved up to being a manager.

I made dinner on Mondays and Thursdays. Those were her late days. Mom never went on any dates or fell in love again. She was happy with just the two of us. But she was alone. After I married Dylan, we moved in with Mom and Gabriella to monitor Mom. Gabriella would send me videos of what Mom’s room looked like. A total mess. Mo has always liked things clean. So we knew when shit was going on. Dylan kissed my cheek, sitting up. My hand touched his, yawning. Dylan is all I have left. All I love. All I need.