New Math

The sum of me does not add up.

The blonde swish and the carefree laugh

Does not portray the darkness

Squirreled away inside me every day.

An extrovert, it had been firmly decided,

And I didn't want to let my labelers down.

Only tragedy could upend this decree,

A shock to my entire state of being,

And I broke my shackles,

As pain set me free.

A self imposed introvert,

I studied hard for the role.

To thrive I ran, without looking back,

To escape the me that had been created,

By everyone I'd ever known.

I became an expert in my field,

And reveled in the freedom and joy

of the solitude I treasured,

Marveled in the enjoyment I took

In my unpopular preference

To distance myself from the crowd.

But my stun has dwindled to an ache,

Time has dwindled by bravery away.

And once again,

I smile for the world,

And the world in turn,

Misunderstands me,

Doesn't think to look into me,

The rays of light blinding them

And defining me.