Shrouded 

clouded 

dormant, 

but poised.

This paroxysm outbreak 

torrid and smouldering.

I wish it to be for you

Climbing 

clambering,

far out of reach.

I need to feel this

Unrequited, 

blemished committal.

You are not what 

you promised.

Fundamental compulsions

evolved into necessity

while your eyes drift.

I want that unknown

Still

I'll lock this away,

decaying in the dark.

The deepest secret

that I never told

was that I killed a child

when I was thirteen.

She was bright

and dreamed

of space travel

and of inventing fantastic machines.

I yanked her from

her fluffy bed,

dragged her to the living room,

turned on the TV.

I stabbed her eyes

with a steely knife

formed of 

pictures

of sand dunes and 

of tanks exploding.

And I whimpered to her

as darkness

replaced the life that bled from her:

"That is where your daddy is"

I took a gun

and shot her ears

with the cries

of starved children

and the shrieks of vultures

ready to devour.

And I screamed at her

through salty tears:

"It's too late for you to save them!"

Her knees wobbled

somehow still alive

on life support

from the small light of hope

that drove her youthful soul.

And so I mustered

the shred of strength -or fear- left of me,

to explain

in a soft whisper

that some people

lose all hope

that they extinguish their light

entirely.

And at this, her color drained

from red

to white

to blue,

the same colors

as it happens

that her father

could be wrapped in.

I killed a child

when I was thirteen.

I killed a child

and that child was me.

#ProseChallenge #DeepestSecrets

If the car starts first try it's going to be a good day.

Okay, if it starts second try then it's going to be a good day.

Alright then, if there are no cars at the first intersection it's going to be a good day.

If I don't have to stop at the next set of lights she will be nice to me today.

Okay, if I can avoid changing to second gear at the next set of lights she will be nice to me today.

Alright then, if I can avoid first gear for the next two intersections she will be nice to me today.

If I can avoid looking in the rear-view mirror for thirty seconds then she actually likes me. Nailed it!

If I can hold my breath from the time I park the car to when I sit at my desk it's still going to be a good day. 

Yes!

If she's standing at the coffee machine when I go there then she likes me.

No, scrap that one.

If she talks to me before 10 am then we will get married someday.

Okay, if she talks to me before lunch time we will get married someday.

Alright then, if she talks to me before 4 pm we will get married someday.

Okay backtrack...

If I drive home and stop at no more than three intersections then she will definitely talk to me tomorrow.

Midnight moon

Bears witness

To whats hidden

In our lives.

Peeks

Into the windows

Sees our secrets

And our lies

Preacher "comforts" harlot

Teacher's on the pipe

Little girl is broken-

Cuts her demons with a knife

All the while the TV

Taunts

With scenes

Of perfect life...

-DeRicki

The Walls have ears. They have heard every part of my sorrowful cries. They know me, they know me better than you do.

Thanks God, for they can’t see me, for I would be ashamed of not being the person I’m supposed to be. I’m just what you want me to be.

The Walls have ears and they are trapping me, they are not my friends. If they were, they would crumble under my tears in a sweet sacrifice for my freedom. They are your friends, keeping me here.

If the Walls have ears, they are not using them, they have turned them off just like everyone else.