What is love?
Love.
I
will
tell you-it’s
the way your uncle
walks faster when his husband
is home alone. how your mother sleeps
with the lights on when your dad is getting a
flight in early the next day. how your brother runs fast
when you fall over
how your friends
say: “If only you
could see you the
way we do, it’d do
amazing things for
your ego.” and the
way ’oceans never
stop kissing shores
no matter how many
times they’re sent away.’
Sparkling sea foam in the glittering sunlight.
True to my Piscean moon,
I concede my needs (to consider yours),
mold my desires (to accommodate yours),
and crumple under disillusioned dreams (they don’t matter to me anymore, for that is not how you want us to be).
But I am in love.
It never stops...
I’m once again,
looking for something;
I wish I knew what it was
this not knowing is depleting me.
I try to find my sea (here, the sea is symbolic of my sense of self, my peace, my calmer tomorrows)
I still don’t know what it is that should be completing me....
But maybe it’s too late;
the foam on my waves has started to dissolve now, (the foam here is my innocence, my happiness)
leaving behind only sharp,
hard salt water... (the harsh reality of my impending ruination)
it dictates that no part of my unloved heart or weary soul shall escape unscathed, unmarred in this quest for love.
But I am in love.
True to my inner Piscean Venus,
I want to tell you that
I’m your mermaid,
I’m your baby...
you know I’d always swim right back
no matter how far I am
if you’d just give me an inkling
that forever together we would be...
Oh! I’m but a love struck fish.
I rise to the surface (still hopeful)
one last time...
blue waves a stark contrast against the white sky (here I’m talking about how different we really are, at our core selves- and how it baffles me that I haven’t seen it until now);
I look for you by the shore...
I cannot find you.
I watch, search, and wait
I cannot see you.
But I am in love.
My sky is dark grey now
and the waves crash violently...
they tear and rip at my fins and scales
taunting me, laughing mercilessly.
(This is my inner psyche, the one that tells me that you and I won’t end up together).
I scream back at the waves-
but I am in love
but I am in love
but I am in love;
hoping that all the purity and innocence of this single emotion,
which is all I have left in me,
will be enough
to confront a possible new reality without you,
to maybe one day I (naively) hope,
bring you back to me.
Oh thank goodness! There you are...
I take your hand, relieved...
you follow willingly.
We come back to the surface
one last time
gasping for breath
before we take the final plunge...
And then we drown urgently in the depths
of our soft pink love,
explosive crimson lust,
ill fated romance and
strengthened trust (as I know now that you didn’t leave, just like you promised).
And I am in love.
As we descend, content just to be with each other,
we reach a metaphorical seabed,
where the dark blue, heavy, gloomy waves end
and we cross over to the other side.
Oh! It is lovely!!!
The sea foam glitters,
catching the pure sparkly sunlight...
(here, I speak of me and you)
and the sunsets always have a soft peach pink hue....
It is all I could ever want, and more!!
Here,
I’m yours,
You’re mine,
We’re ours
and like diamonds,
we shine.
And I am in love.
~Love.
-From the part where I write that the skies are grey, I talk about how distraught I am at not finding you, not having you here with me; I retreat into my mind, and from there on, it’s all in my head, and heart. We never end up together and this is the only way I know to deal. I’ve become pretty good at fabricating illusions.
-The sea foam(me) glittering in the sparkly sunlight (you) is exactly how I feel when I’m with you.
-I interchanged the adjectives sparkly and glittering because, you are me and I am you and it doesn’t matter which is which, it only matters that we are us.
-In another reality, I stay in the dark, vicious waves and I wait for you, and you don’t show up.
-In another reality, “I dissolve into sea foam and get mixed up with the choppy, turbulent waves (again symbolic of my despair) disappearing completely. All that is left is a bluish green scale from my tail fin.”
-But I am in love.
But I am in love.
But I am in love.
Broken reflection
I look in the mirror and see a ghost
A pale shadow
Quivering
Clinging
To reality
I reach to her
And she reaches out
Our hearts contract
My soul is cracked
In every mirror I look
I leave a bit of my smile
A bit of myself
My being is fracturing
Fleeing
Fleeting as the
Wind and
I am a ghost.
A pale shadow
Clutching reality
Like a life bouy
In a ceasless sea.
Love
I hate being a poet…and by hate, I mean love.
And by love, I mean only, that I am compelled,
driven here.
I hate that I can’t write about Israel,
or sunsets and daisies, or in the voice of Sophocles.
I hate that I still write best in the language of a teenager
full of angst−− and by best,
I mean, I’m most satisfied.
I hate that I write poems to you
and that I write poems about writing poems.
That emotions
more than imagery
crowd the page, panting.
That I forget that moods aren’t facts.
I hate the need −− the greed for words. I hate that I tend
to complicate with forced routine.
I hate that I’m readable and relatable and I hate that I just presumed that.
I hate that I’m confessional. I hate that I’m not more academic,
scholarly, referential, clever, or elusive.
I hate that that’s a fact. I hate that I worry
I’m meant to write not poems but rather drivel in a diary
and that I want to
wring the little neck of Philomel.
Most of all, I hate that I sling words like hate and words like love around.
I hate that the evidence is in.
#love #poetry #poet #hate #writing #confessional #words #israel #routine
Hello!
Hello to everyone I specifically tagged and all of the prose. I got a job as a content writer for a small newspaper company in my hometown. I felt too weird sharing this right away because I have a lot of doubts about my work, but right now, I feel like I need honest feedback on the pieces.
I still feel weird posting a link to it like I’m trying to sell something because, on one hand, the articles need the views and clicks. So, I’ve thought also about posting the articles here directly. So, What do you guys think? Should I post the articles or do you feel okay about going to the website through the link?
Thank you for your thoughts! I’d greatly appreciate any feedback or comments!