As tonight again I wanted to sleep in a fetus way, I crumbled but there were chain of thoughts keeping me awake. I stood up and reached for the drawer of my a table in my room which was gathering dust. I pulled out the drawer, scanned inside and found an Old Nokia 3300 which refreshed my memories straightway.

I took a jog back down my memory which reminded that the speakers of this phone told so many lies, blaming all the promises to the people on the other side. Once a legend started appearing farce with all staged lies being fed to me, for I appeared a blank canvas to paint with dark colors by the jokers with bad sense of humour.

Artists did their job and the blamestorming session zeroed it again to that cellphone in my mind. It lay silently doing nothing and beeping no more.

Maybe it was a mere object to associate my memories, but someone has to pay and I need to sleep like a baby tonight.

So i am taking it to the garden as i write. Now I put it to light with efforts as it denied getting burned by a mere matchstick .

Moments have gone... Now the disgusting smell of burning plastic connected with the unwanted memories is pathetic but the fire purifies it all...I watch all the memories associated with it fluttering away reaching for the skies along with smoke...The stars appear so calm as they absorb it all, relieving me from the thoughts away towards solace...zillion stories dilute in the galaxy but it stays silent...Now as I take a sip of beer again I feel no burden forcing me to the old corners of my room....My eyelids feel heavy and ...and...and....ZZzzzzzz

As tonight again I wanted to sleep in a fetus way, I crumbled but there were chain of thoughts keeping me awake. I stood up and reached for the drawer of my a table in my room which was gathering dust. I pulled out the drawer, scanned inside and found an Old Nokia 3300 which refreshed my memories straightway. 

I took a jog back in my memory which reminded that the speakers of this phone told so many lies, blaming all the promises to the people on the other side. Once a legend started appearing farce with all staged lies being fed to me for I appeared a blank canvas to paint with dark colors by the jokers with bad sense of humour.

Artists did their job and the blamestorming session zeroed it again to that cellphone in my mind. It lay silently doing nothing and beeping no more. 

Maybe it was a mere object to associate my memories, but someone has to pay and I need to sleep like a baby tonight. 

So i am taking it to the garden as i write. Now I put it to light with more efforts as it denied getting burned by a mere matchstick . 

Moments have gone... Now the disgusting smell of burning plastic connected with the unwanted memories is pathetic but the fire purifies it all...I watch all the memories associated with it fluttering away reaching for the skies along with smoke...The stars appear so calm as they absorb it all, relieving me from the thoughts away towards solace...zillion stories dilute in the galaxy but it stays silent...Now as I take a sip of beer again I feel no burden forcing me to the old corners of my room....My eyelids feel heavy and ...and...and....ZZzzzzzz

The spicy headlines had the couch potatoes glued to Dee News; their posture alert and attentive, contrary to the usual. As they listened in rapt attention, the pin-drop silence was only broken by their occasional munching of fries.

Elsewhere in the city: Sound of claps

"Amazing, splendid!! That’s what I call the perfect initiation," said the masked man to the female captive as he switched off the television. Then, as if mocking her plight, he enquired, “Do you know three ways to catch a tiger?

“No! And I don’t want to know either,” replied the woman.

“Look in the camera, I will teach you.”

The woman looked around in total consternation. "This wretched man is filming me?" she thought in her head. She noticed a square box sitting atop the cable set-top box. A small lens peeping through a hole in it. She realizes only now that the camera has been there all this time.

The few seconds of silence is interrupted as the masked man continues, “One: Newton says allow the tiger to catch you and you catch the tiger. Two: Einstein says chase the tiger until it becomes tired, and then catch it. Three: Our police say catch a cat and beat it until it accepts it’s a Tiger." And then he bursts into a devilish laughter.

"It is not funny!!!" squeals the woman.

“Do they create the devil or the law is there because of the devil? Some say Devil is the shadow of Angel and some say Devil was once an Angel. But do you know what Devil keeps on telling the Angel, MA’AM?” asked the man with a sinister chuckle.

“Shut the fuck up you bastard and untie me!!” said the fair, good-looking female captive in her mid-twenties.

She was tied to a chair kept adjacent to and facing the sofa.

“You didn’t answer my question, ma’am?” enquired the masked man; his tone forceful and angry.

“How does it concern me you asshole?” replied the woman; the air of arrogance apparent in her demeanor.

“It does ma’am. You will see it. Soon."

He stood up, approached the woman and whispered in her ear, “For your information ma’am, the Devil says- I creaaaaaated you!!!” He sneered.

She asked nervously, “W-W-Wh-What do you mean?”

He walked around the chair in which she was tied and settled down comfortably in the sofa, which he had previously occupied.

“Yes, it is exactly what you are thinking! Let me put it this way, we live in a world where Good and Bad overlap each other. We cannot judge a person accurately on the basis of our self-created likert scales. So the face we see, is merely a deceitful mask, hiding filth and unpunished sins under it. Even a helpless person is an opportunistic wolf now-a-days. All because - we haven’t cleansed ourselves!”

She looked at him, somewhat convinced with his words but uncomfortable with the situation she was in.

He carried on with his monologic talk, “This happened as our society has lost the skills to gauge heinous deeds. The likert scales got rigged and the ancient codes were tampered with as the number of sinners grew."

“Stop puzzling me. I don’t understand a word of your bullshit,” she replied.

"Ma’am, at times I feel that we have to summon all the evil inside us and inflict it on the so called hapless citizens. Perhaps then, their true God might just emerge out of nowhere to protect and bring the change!" bellowed the kidnapper.

"But again, we don’t know who is bad exactly - the justice, which enjoys the thrill of punishment or the sinner, who became such out of misfortunes," said the kidnapper in a more grave tone.

“You know that reminds me of when I was a naughty little boy. My dad was a punishment junkie. He locked me in the basement for years. On top of that, he would beat me with a cricket bat whenever I cried. So, I read books that were mindlessly thrown into that dingy basement."

He paused. And then, as if correcting himself, he said, "No. I devoured them. All the books, with the help of the faint light that streamed in through a little crack in that dark room. They were all kinds of religious books which my mom had left behind. All they glorified was God. As I read them, I cried for His help. But all I got were those rodents to cure my hunger pangs. But Ma’am, tell me, what about those poor rodents? Who do you think enjoys the thrill of blood - God or the Devil?”

His words were starting to send creepy crawlies under her plush skin. Even so, she blurted with nervousness underlying her tone, “I am also a God fearing person. Please, let me go”.

“Hahahahahahaha!"

"God?! You've got to be kidding me, ma'am!!" he said, with ire building in his voice. "Your sins remind me that your God has a wicked sense of humor. There is the Deuteromonic code in Christianity for infidelity, flogging or stoning in Quran for Zina, and rhinotomy was used as punishment by the ancient Hindus. I have read it. All of it. And interestingly, I've also read, that you people find it true,” a mysterious smile stretched across every mimetic muscle on his face.

“Please! I have nothing to do with that. My father and husband won’t spare you if anything happens to me”, she tried to threaten this time.

“You still don’t get it ma’am, THEY ARE THE REASON WHY YOU ARE HERE!!!” he shouted. His eyes moved from her eyes, down to her lips and followed a straight line downwards until they were audaciously transfixed on her plush cleavage.

“Do you remember the time when you took the first step towards adolescence?”

She was flabbergasted by that comment. Tongue-tied, she tried to block his vision by abducting her shoulders. Her fleshy assets were partially visible through the placket in her shirt.

“You've been a naughty girl. Eh, madame?" he said with a vicious snigger. "You always left the top few buttons of your shirt open since school.” He kept his hand around his ear and said further, “Daddy can still heeeear youuu. Moaning! In that isolated lane behind the school.”

Hi!!! thanks for taking out time and reading. This is a small chapter of my novelette which revolves around a Psychopath killer suffering from "Multiple Personality Disorder". He derives gratification by executing his victims in absolutely horrendous manner. 

Do provide me with a feedback or  constructive criticism.

Prosecutor: Could you take a trip down your memory lane,

When they said you sounded a bit sane?

Tell the jury what happened then,

When you were below the age “Ten!”

Accused: I was toddler with a sweet smile,

I started my journey walking only a quarter mile,

They were not amused with that game,

So one day they gave me a plastic gun and asked me to aim,

Who gave me that I don’t remember the name,

But we both sounded pretty so much the same….

And why did they do so heyy! I hit my first target and cheered “yay”

Judge: And why did you do that?

Accused: Cuz’ I am a killer” o yay ye yay

I am a killer

Prosecutor: I am worried what happened further?

whom did you first murder....

Accused: They said he is good at it,

Let’s hand him a shit with better hit!!!

I shot the lizard sneaking in my toys,

They said that’s gonna make him stand tall among the boys..

They din’t know there were more bodies under the bed,

Happy with the job they fixed me a snack with a cheese spread,

Judge: And why did they do that?

Accused: cuz’ I am a Killer,

Ooo yay ye yay I am a killer!!

Prosecutor: Tell everybody what had you thought,

when you lost your marbles and did a human-head-shot !!

Accused: I grew old and was sent to a school,

Perhaps they wanted me to use a better tool!

I saw a girl who was a real beauty,

to love her then was my only duty!

One day she questioned “What more can you do for me”??

Fondling my asset under the tree!

I took out my gun and shot her in the head,

waited for her to say “let’s make out in the bed!”

She was unfaithful cuz’ she din’t move,

It was my love which she din’t approve,

Though I gave her the bullet that I loved the most,

She was a cheat and gave up the ghost...

Judge: And why did you do that?

Accused: ’cuz I am a killer ooo yay ye yay

I am a killer.....

Prosecutor: You see sir we have in hand a total cuckoo case,

Now we hold a very strong base,

and it’s the time to put him in his right place

I request the jury, to shut him behind the Madhouse door

Because we can’t stand this gore nooo more!!

Crowd: Nooo more... Nooo more...

Jury discussed and came up with a strict decision,

as they always had a far sighted vision,

they said he is “guilty as accused”,

insanity is smokescreen which he has used,

He loves the “thrill of the kill”,

and It’s time for his sins to pay up the bill!!

Accused felt a bit twitchy

and said “Heyy my micky feels a bit itchy”,

In his pants he slipped his hands

and flicked out a gun as he had different plans

at Judge he immmediatey aimed

scared Judge bluffed “you might have been framed”,

As the Judge was no sitting duck,

he ran through the courtroom saying “ooo what the fuck”...

“Bang” said the gun as he outran his luck

judge fell down, in the courtroom of that town

killer laughed hard like a clown

Crowd: why did u do that?

Killer: ’cuz I am a killer ..Ooo yay ye yay

I am a killer.

I know that I was the only sperm to have made this far ahead of 10 million others, but I can't take it anymore; the thoughts swirled along the ice cubes in a destructive vortex of violently rotating whiskey storm in the tumbler. With trembling hands I lifted, kissed the tumbler and guzzled down the storm in a flash. The burning liquid assimilated as it travelled down my gut. In no time it started taking over the charge of my constitution. Yes...Yes...Yeaahh!!! I feel the storm swirling in my heart and the blood started pumping mercilessly in my veins. Stirring that little heart crazy, so crazy that it banged hard against the walls of my chest. Banging hard enough to rip out. The time has come my friend! The bird won't fly again (smiled as I told that to myself with bated breaths).

     I wobbled as i tried to get up but managed to balance the chassis by my hands pushing against the wall. "I had a little too many, how many? Who cares now for the decision has been made", I assured myself as the sweat droplets rolled down my temple.

     I stretched my hand and got a grip of a piece of cold metal that lay on the table next to the tumbler...i pulled it closer to my head; the feel of that metal barrel got my heart pounding harder as the cold metal barrel pressed against my head turning my feet cold; am I taking an easy way out? Yes the pain would end straightaway instead of lingering forever.

     I said these lines to myself and went to the washroom, just to look in the mirror for one last time before the lights could flutter away from my eyes and the soul, like a bird, could break free from its cage. There in the mirror stood an angry looking teenager with bloodshot eyes whose certificates said that he was an ace shooter and victor at various sports...then where did it go wrong?

   Contemplating... the intoxicated mind took a dive into the depths of nostalgia zapping through the memories...it got locked over a scene where the hand that rocked my cradle once, brought me the books to grow old one day. Old enough that my success could be gauged only on the basis of exams which were never meant for me. There was actually no country for non-engineers and doctors in the eyes of our traditional Indian middle-class family .  And I was literally dragging my feet everyday to live a dream which others had fabricated on me...

     Now I had failed in the exams and all my friends had moved on to the colleges of their choice, leaving behind a complete loser...someone who was now unacceptable in their society, an abomination, a failure with no future; talking to whom was now a taboo. Tears streamed down my cheeks when I looked down upon myself through the eyes of my friends. Perhaps that's why even my Girlfriend gave up on me.

    I cried "Oh god! why did you made me to see this day?" I realised that I was barking the wrong tree as there was no God around and I was talking only to myself. My whole world was coming down crashing around me, trying to bulldoze my mind into a passive coma. All dreams and love promises were popping like soap bubbles around my head. That does it, the annoying mouth had to be shut down forever now. The barrel was now in my mouth and I did not prefer to close my eyes as I wanted to look at myself while squeezing the trigger slowly....Tick Tock Tick Tock an angry teenager with a gun in his mouth...tick tock tick tock

    Suddenly my mind traversed into a phase of life where I used to call my richard as my "Gun". My Richard?? in my mouth? OMG I bursted into laughter and while pulling out the gun it suddenly went "Bang!!!!" i had accidentally squeezed the full trigger while laughing. I quickly scanned my self to find if I was leaking from anywhere? Thank God, I looked around and found that only a chip of the plaster from ceiling had fallen on the ground... consuming all the momentum of the lead. I went to the room, kept the Gun back and refilled the tumbler.

The endorphins had kicked into the blood streams and the depression was slowly melting away waking up my sportsman spirit. The hole in the ceiling was the wake up call for me and I and decided that I won't give up without a fight beyond the lifeline. I explored all avenues and buckled down to the idea that If colleges did not accept me then I will open my own college. Next morning I made an avowed intent about my new target. Everybody thought that I had lost my grip on reality and sometimes even I doubted my own sanity. But the study, strategies and the tough grind which I had inculcated to fill in the social gaps that my dear ones had left behind ensured that I would land somewhere at least. So I irrigated the seed of my Idea with blood, sweat and tears and watched it germinate slowly, taking a shape. Every setback used to throw me back to my tumbler again and I contemplated at that bullet hole in the washroom; it reminded that I had taken the toughest decision of my life as my only choice that night, and now there was no turning back. Next day i used to double my usual work and one day success came knocking at my door like a Santa with more than I had ever wished for.

   Now whenever I find someone down or planning to give up the ghost, I tell them of what I had been through and how a little humour and the hardest decision changed my life forever. One day my kid (who is a topper) asked me why I had failed in entrance exams? spontaneously i replied "Because I am a Godzilla who was chomping at chickenfeed"...he laughed innocently and went to school.

P.S. I turn down the Facebook friend requests and calls of all those friends who once had deserted me every now and then. (Karma is a Bitch)

@chainedinshadow