pounding and pounding and pounding and

spiraling

down down down down down

so deep

so deep

so godsdamn deep you'll never find me

never see the light of day

of day

of day

of night

this is night

night

eternal night

darkness swallows me up

swallows

swallow the pills

swallows soaring in the sky

sky high

high as i can go

i can go far away

go far away

leave me alone

alone with my thoughts

my thoughts tear me apart

torn apart by your words

your words carve into my skin

carve cuts into my skin

the cuts sting

my head pounds

pou ndin g and pou ndin g and pou nding and

spirali ng

d own d own d own d own d own

so de ep

so d eep

so gods damn dee p yo u'll nev er fin d m e

nev er s ee th e lig ht of d ay

o f da y

o f d ay

of ni ght

th is is nig ht

nig ht

ete rnal n ight

darkn ess swal lows m e up

swallo ws

swallo w th e pi lls

swall ows soar ing i n the s ky

sk y hi gh

hi gh as i ca n go

i ca n go fa r a way

go f ar aw ay

lea ve me alo ne

alo ne w ith my tho ughts

my th oughts tea r m e ap art

tor n apa rt by yo ur wo rds

yo ur word s car ve in to my s kin

carv e c uts in to m y ski n

the cut s sti ng

m y he ad pou nds

po u ndi n g and po u nd in g and pou n ding and

spir ali ng

d o w n d own d o wn d o w n d ow n

s o d e ep

s o d ee p

so go ds dam n dee p yo u' ll ne v e r fin d m e

nev e r s ee th e l i ght of d ay

o f da y

o f d a y

of ni ght

th is is n ig ht

nig h t

e te rnal n ight

da r kn es s sw al low s m e u p

sw a llo ws

s w al lo w th e pi lls

sw a ll ows so a r ing i n the s ky

sk y hi gh

hi g h as i ca n go

i ca n g o fa r a way

go f ar a w ay

lea ve me alo ne

al o ne w it h my th o ugh ts

m y th ou g ht s tea r m e ap art

tor n ap a rt by yo ur wo r ds

yo u r w or d s ca r ve in to my s k i n

ca r v e c u ts i n to m y sk i n

t h e cu t s s ti ng

m y he ad po u n ds

po u nd4i n g and po u nd in g and pou n ding and 46 4 ay

yo u r w4 or d s ca r ve in to my s k i ng and 46

spir 68

d o w n d own d o wn d o w n d ow n

s o d ee p8p6

s o d ee 3p89

23so go 3 ds dam53 n dee p 5yo u' ll ne v e r f74in d m e

5o f 4da 26t of d ay5

2so go 3 ds dam3 n 35ee p 5yo u' ll ne v e r f74in d m e

6nig h t6ht44356882f d a46 s ee th 4868 l i ght of d ay

nig h t

4

da r kn es996 s sw al low s m e u p

s o6 d ee p898of d468 ay s ee th 468 l i ght of d ay

s w al lo 834w th4686e 4pi lls

da r kn es8 s sw4 al low s m e u p p the s ky

7sk y hi g23h

6hi g h as i55235 ca n go

i ca6 n 8 o fa r a way

tor n a4p a6ca r 4v e c u ts8 i n to m y sk i ne

sw a 8ll9 ows so a r ing i n the s kyart

m y th ou g ht s tea r m e ap art

tor n a48p a6ca r 4v e c u ts8 i n to m y sk i n

6yo u r w or 8d s ca r ve i6n t4o my s k i n

ca r 4v e c u ts8 i n to m y sk i n

8t h e cu t s s t6i ng

m y he ad4 325p58o u n ds4

m y he ad4 2p58o u n ds4s4

pounding

and pounding

and pounding

and pounding

She had that weird look all the time.

It was like her nose was squished to her face

My god she looked like a pig

But I didn't care

I loved her

She always had the most disturbing laugh

As if she was having a half seizure

It was more...choking than laughing

But I didn't care

I loved her

Something else about her...

She ran so awkwardly

Like some kind of duck

Except...the duck is disfigured

It always creeps me out

But I didn't care

I loved her

I'm not different then her

Ugly love

I only see her Beauty

Forget her looks

Forget her personality

Forget her past

I love her

And I don't care what she is like

B. L. O. O. M.

like a fart cloud as it rips through your pants.

S. I. N. G.

like that kid who took one vocals class and thinks he is now John Legend.

D. A. N. C. E.

like you do to hold in your pee when the bathroom stalls are filled.

L. O. V. E.

like dirt and your white sneakers.

L. A. U. G. H.

or just snort.

-V.S.

I like her hair. It's green and slimy. It looks like clumps of skunk fur dipped in warm motor oil. Her skin is even better. It lays like chunky spoiled milk on her frail bones. I wish to brush my cheek against her rotten lips, their putrid scent enveloping my senses in

cloy rot.

Never made it to work

This trick tracked me down

the thing of it is

wasn’t in a hurry

til she came barging

doors were slammed

words were slung

Hit me with the hook

How did I live with myself?

Aint that the question.

Ten minutes in

clothes on the floor

worst of it is

tomorrow she’ll call

I won’t answer

GAH OKAY SO I AM SO FLIPPETY

WHIPPETY

GIPPETY

PLEASED

BECAUSE LIFE

CAN

DO

THAT THING TO

YOU

SOMETIMES,

IT CAN HIT YOU LIKE THE SUN ON A HIGH SPEED MOTORWAY, CAN FILL YOU UP LIKE A MELTING ICE CUBE FULL OF COCA COLA OR IT CAN SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A SLIMEY PIECE OF SNOT. IT CAN BE AS VIVID AND AS COLOURFUL AS THE BLOOD RED OF A PERIOD. MESSY SMELLY LIFE, LIFE CAN BE SO GOOD TO YOU WHEN YOU'RE GOOD AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOME GOOD AND WHEN THE BAD PARTS COME YOU STAY PATIENT AND KNOW THAT NOTHING EVER LASTS

NOT PAIN NOT SUFFERING NOT LIFE NOT PLEASURE

NONE OF IT WILL LAST

SO

AT TIMES.

IT CAN BE SO FLIPPETY WHIPPETY GOOD.

RADIOS BLARING OUT TOOOOONS GOOD SOUUUUUNDS AND LOVELY MOMENTS

FRENDS TELLING YOU THEY LOVE YOU AND THAT [AND I FLIPPERTY WHIPPERTY QUOTE: [7:19 pm, 09/09/2020] GH: i saw marilyn yesterday

[7:19 pm, 09/09/2020] GH: and i was saying how you are genuinely one of the sweetest, kindest, loveliest people ]

AND SOMEONE ELSE SAYS [10:14 am, 11/09/2020] CD : Woke up to Loyle Carner on the radio

[10:15 am, 11/09/2020] CD : Thought of you ]

I AM TIRED OF ANYTHING ELSE

JUST WANNA FEEL GUD

GOOD GOOD GOOD.

AND I FEEL GOOD. so. while it lasts. that's what I'll feel. messily ugly good, who wakes up with oil in her hair and bags under her eyes and talking to her flatmate who is the loveliest shiniest soul on earth and who cooks and drinks wine with her

focus on the good today. as ugly as it gets. I'm off to have a good day. I HOPE YOU DO TOO.

You’re so lovely

Thank you

I hate you,

you are freakin ugly

Can I buy a bag

for your egghead?

I love your smile

Thank you

I’m thinking about

your dead mom and

how the car drug her

for a mile

Your eyes, they sparkle

Thank You

I see your future,

YOU WILL DIE!

hehehehehe and

you can’t stop it.

heheheheheheheheh

Your golden hair is

so beautiful

Thank you

Is your hair removable?

Did your mama

have to buy your

hair at the poop store?

it smells like it

hahahahaha

Your beauty is out

of this world

Thank you

It’s a disguise

I am from another place, not of Earth

you humans find my true form

disgusting

and won’t talk to me

I’ve taught you to well

you humans are so cruel

a demon has to hide behind

this disguise or you won’t

play my games, you

think you are wise.

but all I have to

do is wear this

disguise and

you are my

friend

again.

It’s ok

you

will

forget

I

told

you.

~Lightbearer

god of Earth

Athena

09/10/2020

deripsni eb ot deen ouy

ecap fo egnahc eht

si ylgu gnitirw semitemos

yako staht dna

i wont judge

Disgorge the phlegm,

Gagging in disgust.

Blergh.

Pick at the scab,

Left behind by a bloodsucking leech.

Skin peels.

Knead the bunion,

Smearing the ointment.

Regurgitate the worm,

I ate for breakfast.

Chunks fall.

Plop.

Shrill screaming.

Cataclysm.

Crash.

Grotesque tongues.

Visceral fat.

@wabisabi