The words summer carnival,

Have a new meaning to me.

It marks the end of something,

A change in my life.

This year a specific party,

Has the theme of,

A summer carnival.

Ends are too much for me,

Everything in life,

Is very hard for me.

I feel horrible,

For I am to plan for,

This summer carnival.

But I sit back and,

Watch the others,

And try to help.

There is nothing,

I feel like I can do,

And so much,

That others can.

I will do anything they ask,

I will help if they need me,

But they do not.

My job is important,

But there is more to this,

Than the money.

Seven billion people

faces

brains

hearts

yet I get to be on this earth

with you.

And Chadwick Boseman.

1) The feeling where you stay up at night, stare at your ceiling, ask yourself an infinite number of quesitons, then sit there and debate on whether or not you actually want to know the asnwer

2) The feeling where you wonder who truly cares about you and who is just using you; you wonder about who is there for you and who is so desperateely waiting for you to fail

3) The feeling where you feel like you’re not good enough, that you need to be this, this, and this to be successful and liked; you crave for the attention you know you can’t have

4) The feeling where you get frusterated because it’s physically impossible to be 100% happy; you want someone to vent to but no one will understand you

5) The feeling where you question your value, your worth, your pride, yourself everything

And you think. Overthink. All night.

And all you’re left with is you, yourself, and a very dark place.

My life is not all sunshine

Sometimes it is filled with darkness

Just like everyone else’s

I have my ups and downs

I live my life like I am on a roller coaster

Never knowing when I’ll go up

Never knowing when I’ll go down

Just knowing that when it happens, it hits like a truck

My life is not all sunshine

Sometimes it is filled with darkness

But for those very short times, when the sun shines through

I stand there, and relish in its warmth

Because although my life is lived in complete darkness

I know that the sun is there

Even if it’s behind the darkness, it’s there

Encouraging me to keep going

Encouraging me to keep fighting

Just knowing that there is something waiting on the other side

My life is not all sunshine

Sometimes it is filled with darkness

But I know, it will pass

It will pass eventually

I want every person in this world,

To find their true love,

Their soulmate.

Even if it takes a lot,

Of time,

Loss,

Struggle.

Everyone deserves to meet their partner,

It does not have to always work out,

But we deserve this at the least.

To know that there is someone,

Or there was someone,

Meant just for us.

I want a lot of things,

But this is what I want

For the world,

For humans,

While we exist.

I can’t seem to grasp the fact that the world in fact is an ugly place.

We live in a world where suicide is an easier way out than being yourself.

We live in a world where kids have adult minds.

We live in a world where no one is utterly happy.

We live in a world where no one seems to understand the idea of being kind.

The world from afar is such a beautiful thing.

Yet close up, face to face with one another, everything is far much unappealing.

We live in a world where war is an option to obtain peace.

We live in a world where our leaders keep secrets from the public.

We live in a world where women cannot go outside without being harassed.

We live in a world where homosexuality is seldom accepted.

Why is it that as human beings, instead of helping our own kind, we turn our backs to one another.

One day you people will see the error of your ways.

One day you people will see the pain you’ve inflicted on not only others but a prolonged pain on yourselves.

But for now I’ll continue to sit back and watch the planet wither. Slowly, but surely.

And I just don’t understand.

Sometimes, you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t.

When someone hurts you time and time again, accept the fact that they don’t have your best interests in mind.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s neccessary medicine.

Do not strive to impress them any further. It's not worth it.

Do not waste another second of your time trying to prove something to them. It doesn't need to be.

Do not act with any though of them ever again.