Chase down your tawdry gifts

Wrap them in a heart shaped box

Most importantly remember this

Tomorrow candy is half off

Get a restaurant reservation

Slip on your fancy clothes

Overspend on your evening

I'll be eating sloppy joes

Break your feet in high heels

Get strangled by to tight ties

I'll be wearing warm pajamas

Then I'll down my favorite pie

Go on have your holiday fun

I'm sure you'll have a good time

Me I'm going to bed real early

So I can hit the half-off candy line

Lived happily single, unrepentantly died alone

Found: Wedding band, engraved with "Cheater"

Climbed ten stories, elevator wasn't broken

I used something simple because I didn't have the confidence to quickly choose a username that I wouldn't regret later. Honestly I don't think I expected to ever return after my first few posts, I joined on a whim needing an outlet. That's why I stuck with the old tried and true (for me) half expecting it to already be taken.

But at least I was right, years later I don't regret my choice because today after over a years absence I was able to log back on effortlessly, I easily recalled my information. As to why I was absent so long at first it was computer issues then life got in the way. Glad to be back.

You are your changes, nothing is totally still

The ocean is still the ocean no matter the waves

Without the churning it would be stagnant

Dead, existing in form but not substance

As we would be if unchanged throughout time

Without this ability to move, evolve

We would only ever be our past version

Never our true, actual transient selves

Smile, life isn't all bad

Smile, why can't you look glad

Smile, you aren't allowed to be sad

Smile, or I'll start to get mad

I looked at him, his eyes filled with fear and desperation. He sat across from me at the bar and started giving me his long sob story. I’ve heard it all before, can’t help it in my business and this story is as old as time. Robbed by his business partner/best friend, wife left, no kids, parents dead, he had no one to turn to in his hour of need. All he had left was a mountain of debt, a struggling business, his depressingly empty house and the bottle. I raised an eyebrow as he poured himself another drink, rather impressed with his tolerance. I would only be able to handle three of those and he’s on his sixth. I ask him if he’s got a plan and he nods. He’s going to get his wife back, I tilt my head and he notices my question. Apparently they still love each other but she hadn’t been able to save him from his downward spiral of self-loathing and shame. If he could pull himself together he could get her back and they could start fresh. All he was lacking was funds... I guess that’s where I come in. I shake his hand and leave the bar, I need a good night’s rest. After all, tomorrow I have to burn down his house.

I'd been training and working toward this my whole life. I was born and raised a peasant but had been blessed with boundless potential. When you were taken your royal father offered your hand to anyone who could save you. My village decided this was our chance, that I could improve all our lives by becoming the next king. I got to the castle past the dragon and stared down at your beautiful face. Your lips were as red as the rubies on your necklace, your skin as clear and fine as the diamonds in your tiara, your hair as golden as the bracelets on your wrists. Back home all I had left were a few distant relatives eager to live off me the rest of their days. In you I saw a future of beauty, elegance and nobility. I should've kissed you, but I seriously don't want to be king. So tell everyone the dragon got me and take the next guy as your husband.

Toodles, From Your Real Savior.

P.S Took the jewels, call it my dragon slaying fee

That stupid little @@@@ what the hell is she thinking. I look up at the top of the tree to see her dangling like a monkey from a high branch. I am no hypocrite I spent a good portion of my childhood in arborville but I’ve told her “Never that tree”. Any other tree in the yard but not the one that looks the best for climbing but is actually rotten at the core. I told her no, I explained why, I even pointed out the spots where you could see the damage. If it wasn’t for the fact it was so close to the house I would have cut it down myself. As it is I am on the waiting list for every tree surgeon in the area. I almost scream at her but realize startling her might end badly. Instead I call up in the sweetest voice I can fake. “Honey, Sweetheart why don’t you come down now.” She clings to the trunk like a koala, fear apparent in her eyes. Apparently my acting isn’t as good as I’d hoped. But the little brat should be more afraid of her precarious position in the air not on the ground. “I think I’ll stay up here” she replies and reaches up as if to climb higher. “NO!” I scream unable to stop myself and she shrinks back towards the trunk. I pause and take a deep breath “No Baby it’s dangerous please just come down now, I promise I won’t be mad.” I can see her eyebrow raise in disbelief and give her a strained smile. “Come on down, I have ice cream in the freezer and if you don’t hurry your sisters will get it all.” I can see her weighing her options, she knows very well that treat won’t last forever. “Promise you won’t get mad?” I reach out my arms toward her. “Baby I just want you safe.” She knows she can’t stay up there forever but I wouldn’t put it past her to try if she could avoid a punishment. “Come on I promise I won’t punish you if you get down right now. You know I don’t break my promises.” That did it, all my years of trustworthy behavior finally paying off. I cringe at her every movement as she slowly makes her way down. I have her jump into my arms when close enough and clutch her desperately, my whole body shaking in relief. When I finally put her down she looks up at me with her wide innocent eyes. “You promised me, you won’t punish me right.” I smile down as the displaced anger comes rushing back. “Of course I won’t punish you, but I never said your mother wouldn’t.”

To My Soulmate,

Okay, here goes, let’s not fall in love. Yes I know it was foretold by the heavens. That our love was supposed to be powerful enough to move mountains, end wars, whatever. To be truthful after the oracle told me how it all ends I gave it a lot of thought and seriously it’s not worth it. I’m pretty hot, supposedly so are you but getting together isn’t worth the destruction we are going to cause to ourselves and the people around us. In case you haven’t checked with your own oracles, we have a few years, like three, of turmoil, longing and angst, then we have about six months’ worth of passion before we perish in each other’s arms. I mean it’s a romantic story to hear but no way in hell do I want to live it. This letter is to tell you I’m going to devote myself to the church and don’t ever want to meet you in case that sets something in motion.

All my best, Your Soulmate

P.S Don’t reply, I’m moving and changing my name