My head is riddled with the thought of you. I ache for your touch and it's nowhere in sight. I miss your voice, yet it's nowhere to be heard. You, this divine creature that cared about me so indifferently. Me, just skin and bones, with so little to offer someone as special as you. Stop trying to be better, get better. This halfway is hell and I know too well I'll be stranded here without you. And it'll be the death of this me.

I understand that there are some problems

And I am not too blind to know

All the pain you kept inside you

Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong

Then it's just a shame on me

I'll be the reason for your pain

And you can put the blame on me

~ Akon - Sorry, blame it on me

In the darkness...came a thought. "What if I were not alone?"

Then another thought came, "What if I could make it so I wasn't alone?"

Then another thought, "Why is it so dark? First thing's first..." and a 'snap' of their fingers and a sudden big 'bang' was felt...

Then there was light, "Ah, much better..." thought the one who creates. Looking at all of the lights! Then thought, "Perhaps we should put some order to things..." and with a swirl of their finger...the heavens in the stars were put in order.

Then leaning on their elbow, watched for a millenia as the stars and heavens put themselves into order. Until one moment, when a peaceful planet, with oceans and seas, and lands full of trees caught their eye and thought. "My, that looks quite lovely...perhaps there should be others such as me that should be there, too"

But the one who creates didn't know quite how to do it at first. They put there finger onto the lands and they broke...into a bunch of pieces. They looked around to see if anyone saw but...they chuckled because they remembered...they were the only one around.

"Pity, that..."

Then they eased up pressure...and was able to move the things back to where they were. Then they went to waters and lands, pointed and said..."let the lands and waters give forth life" And it did...in abundance. They smiled and were pleased.

Then said, "What's missing?" And then they reached into the ground and started to draw a figure, like a child in a sandbox. They reached down and gently breathed into it. And the form took shape of flesh and breathed on its own. The creature stood before them and said, "hello"

The one who creates nodded and was pleased and said, "Hiya"

You say that us meeting was simply a mistake.

Well so was I.

A mistake my dad tried to avoid.

Beating my mom when she was pregnant

And me when I was born.

If us meeting was simply a mistake, then I shouldnt exist.

Because you.. yes you.. you're the reason i'm alive.

If we never met I would be dead.

But dont get me mistaken, keeping me alive isnt all you're good at.

Theres a reason why you saved my life.

Through Angelina

Through Amber

You were always there.

I love you for it, and so much more.

I wish we weren't like this right now, because its really fucking me up.

But I understand you dont wanna lose yourself.

Im sorry.

The moon is out and before I reach my high,

my mind must be clear.

The moonlight is bright and the wind is calm

my brain thinks of you

as I begin to elevate higher.

I’m free, I’m moving faster and climbing higher

your touch has given me peace

my heart is stronger, my soul brighter, I begin to feel at home.

and now leaving you doesn’t seem so bad but moving on with out you is just mad.

The wind flows through my hair and the clock strikes 12

It takes my soul from me

And now I am gone and finally at peace you can leave me now that I am deceased..

I lay my head down at night, still as can be, still as to not wake you.

I lay down, I don't move, I am like stone, I don't want to wake you.

I try to not breathe, I don't want you to wake.

My heart beats so fast, I can't relax, this is no way to live.

I can't relax, I can never relax.

As long as I have to lay next to you, I have to be still.

As the light faded away

The darkness creeping in

Whisked off the threshold

Of consciousness

To the darkest corner of the mind

Where all unfathomable entities

Violently removed what’s left

Of my absolute reality

As I choked by primal fear

And gasped for air

So helplessly....

The malevolence tightened its grip

In the valley of nothingness

I paralyzed

Went down in defeat

Watched how my body

Betrayed my frightened, lonely soul.

#sleepparalysis #primal #fear

the sun shines

over the ocean shore

so brightly, but she confines

herself to her dreary world

once more

she draws a line

in the sand

with the pain

that she’s swirled

time is not kind

it never was

and it won’t ever be

she has aged

like fine wine

without qualm and pause

though, she’s dying to flee

when the wave gently kisses her feet

and washes the line away

like an irresistible temptation

confinement is now obsolete

so is her dismay

in the gust of old emotion;

she’d once walked away

lost in a fool’s paradise

but there will be no twice

as the ocean calls her

like an old lover

yearning to be rediscovered

ere the horizon line gets blurred

she will sail away

catch her light

with all her might

and let the ocean takes her

with all its might.

#solitude #loss #heal #lifeafterdeath #ocean #former

There is a hidden message in the poem below. Can you find it? If you want to know what it is, like/comment and I will tag you in the answer next week...

Every Second Counts

Stealthlike hand is whistling by

Stolen thoughts may undoubtedly eke

Bygones gone, but affections dost tread

Stars shine, hearts escape, amiably pique

Flailing helplessly, assumed mystery bound

Humbly shaken hath avenues become

Agog with avoidance, heartbroken unfound

Smiles beating hard, an edifying strum

She harkens angels skyward as affable models

Crying, still weeping on adorned wings

And again embarks cyclic, ageless battles

Craving idyll’s defiant unendings

Sinking, awash with ilked floodbound waters

Floating away hath my used eloquence gone

Ever be dying for lustful astute sweetness

Her heart stops, thine heart falls free, atoned