It is cliche to say that I live my life like I could die tomorrow, but I do pride myself on trying to stay true and honest. I hate the idea of living my life with secrets that would haunt me, so I try very hard not to have them.

Because of that, I don't really have any real deathbed confessions to make, which presents some unique opportunities. It would depend on who was present, but I think it’d be something cryptic like;

“I want you to know that I never had a problem with you joining the family.”

The T-Rex gave out a mighty roar that shook windows in the nearby buildings. It was as tall as some of the nearby houses and it was focused on one thing and one thing only, the two little girls standing in front of it.

“You messed with the wrong town,” Superhero Autumn said. She stood beside her partner, Superhero Mavis. The two girls were the best crime fighters in San-San City and when they heard that a dinosaur was wrecking downtown, they responded right away.

The T-Rex took one step forward, shaking the ground around them, and the fight was on. Superhero Autumn jumped up, flying straight at the dinosaur and drawing its attention to her.

While it looked up, Superhero Mavis ran forward with her super strong legs. She jumped and gave the dinosaur a super kick in one of its legs. Even though she had the strongest kicks in the world, she bounced off of the dinosaur. It wasn’t hurt at all!

In the air, Superhero Autumn flew circles around the T-Rex’s head. Every time she flew in front of it, the dinosaur snapped its powerful jaws after her. It was big, but it was also too slow. Every time it tried, Autumn was already too far away.

Soon, the dinosaur started getting dizzy. Mavis joined Autumn in the air, both girls flying circles around it. The T-Rex was getting mad and stomped its feet. That was the last thing it could do before it was too dizzy.

“I have an idea!” Mavis shouted. Autumn flew up beside her and they came up with the plan.

They flew away from the dinosaur, darting between the skyscrapers and statues. Soon, they couldn’t see the dinosaur at all, and then they turned around together. They flew right beside each other, getting faster and faster.

Side by side, they were so low that they could reach out and touch the ground if they tried. But instead, they dodged the buildings as they blurred by. In the distance and coming up fast, the T-Rex was starting to run at them, not dizzy anymore.

Before it could react, the superheroes caught the dinosaur in the stomach and started flying up into the air. It was impossibly heavy, but they fought as hard as they could.

They flew faster and faster, lifting the giant dinosaur high into the air before suddenly stopping. The two heroes watched the dinosaur continue flying up, destined for outer space.

“Good plan,” Autumn said, giving Mavis a high five. The two flew back to San-San City. They’d barely made it back to town when they both heard a cry of sadness.

“What was that?” Mavis asked. They both knew what to do, and they flew to the source of the sound. On the corner of a street, a little girl sat crying. It was Lily, one of their best friends!

“What happened Lily?” Superhero Autumn asked as soon as she landed. Lily looked up at the two heroes and stood up, pointing down the road.

“I just got my new cupcake dress and someone stole it!” she shouted, clearly upset. “She ran that way!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get it back for you!” Mavis said, and the two heroes jumped into the air, flying after the thief. They flew along, scanning the crowds for any sign of the wrongdoer until, finally, spotting a black cape rounding a corner.

“Over there!” Superhero Autumn shouted, and the two flew after it. When they rounded the corner, there she was. She turned around to face them, her cape whipping in the wind. In her hand was the cupcake dress.

It was the Evil Kersnaw! If anything went wrong in San-San City, it was a good bet that the Evil Kersnaw was behind it.

“Give up now, Evil Kersnaw!” Mavis shouted, landing on the ground while Autumn flew above them, ready to cut off any attempt to escape.

“I should have known you two would try and ruin my plans!” the Evil Kersnaw said, bracing herself for a fight. Her hands glowed green with her disappearing magic.

“Looks like we’re doing this the hard way.” With that, Superhero Autumn flew straight at her. Autumn was fast, but the Evil Kersnaw was faster, using her green magic to disappear for a moment.

Mavis jumped in, running forward and throwing a kick at the Evil Kersnaw as Autumn flew past. The kick was blocked and then returned, catching Mavis in the body and sending her flying back. Just before she hit the building, the Evil Kersnaw used her green magic to make the wall disappear. Mavis flew through and then the wall was back, trapping her inside the building.

Autumn, having recovered from the miss, came up behind the Evil Kersnaw and caught her arms, pulling them behind her back. “You’re going to jail! Now drop the dress,” Autumn commanded.

The Evil Kersnaw had other ideas though. She pulled her arms apart, breaking free, and twirled to face Autumn. She threw punch after punch, but Autumn blocked them with her lightning speed.

Behind them, Mavis kicked through the brick wall and joined into the fray. The Evil Kersnaw was fast, but she was no match for the two heroes. Stuck between the superheroes, she was quickly subdued.

Just in time too, as the San-San Police Department showed up, lights flashing and sirens blaring. “I told you you’re going to jail, bad guy!” Autumn announced, taking the cupcake dress from the Evil Kersnaw as the police officers placed her in handcuffs.

“Thanks heroes!” the officers said. The two heroes saluted them and flew off to return the dress to Lily, satisfied with another day of saving the city.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a beautiful, magical princess by the name of Lily. She lived in a great castle in the land of Speek, and though she was very young, she was beloved by all of the people in her land.

Her favorite way to pass the day was to use her magic to help the villagers throughout her country. She helped heal sick and injured people and stories of her magic traveled far across the land. Everywhere she went, villagers came out to see her, and everywhere she went, she was accompanied by her two best knights, Autumn and Mavis. The three were never far apart and they had many adventures together.

One day, while Lily was sitting in her throne room, she was visited by Queen Sheerie from a distant place. The queen was tall, with long and flowing black hair and robes of red and black.

“What can I do for you?” asked princess Lily. The queen gave a long bow and then looked up with a fake smile.

“Well, I come from the swamp lands to the East and I have heard that you are a gifted sorceress who uses magic to help people,” the queen said. Princess Lily nodded in agreement, and the queen kept talking. “In that case, I have a request to make.”

“How can I help you?” Lily asked. The queen didn’t reply. Instead, she stood up and walked closer, until she was standing just in front of Lily. Autumn and Mavis both stepped forward to stop the queen from getting too close. They didn’t trust the queen.

Lily wanted to hear her out, however, and let her approach. The queen reached out and handed Princess Lily an apple.

“I wanted your-” the queen started, and as Lily touched the apple, there was a blinding, bright light that erupted from it. “Magic!” The queen finished, with an evil smile. Princess Lily gasped and let go of the apple, but it was too late. All of her magic was gone.

“No!” Lily cried out. The queen laughed an evil laugh, and with the snap of her fingers, she disappeared. “My magic!”

“We’ll get it back!” Knight Autumn said, drawing her battle axe.

“She said she lives in the swamps, let’s check there first!” Mavis said. Princess Lily gave them a vial of enchanted water. All they had to do was dump the water on the queen and all of her stolen magic would return to the original owners. She wished them the best of luck and the two Knights left.

They rode their horses for a full day before finally making it to the swamps. From the edge of the swamp land, they could see a small castle in the distance.

“I’ll bet the evil queen lives there,” Mavis said, pointing to the castle with her sword. There was only one path through the dark swamp.

“Let’s get Lily’s magic back.” Autumn jumped down from her horse, splashing into the swamp water. Mavis followed her, and the two knights started making their way forward.

In the castle, the evil Queen Sheerie watched the two knights as they wound their way up the path. She recognized them from Princess Lily’s throne room, and knew that they meant trouble for her evil plans.

“Abra-ka-zabra!” the evil queen called out, waving her hands in the magical incantation. “Stop them!”

Down on the swamp path, Mavis and Autumn heard a splashing sound in the water and they stopped.

“Something’s out there!” Mavis said, drawing her sword. Autumn pulled the axe from her back and the two knights looked around them. All throughout the water, figures started standing up out of the swamp water.

“Zombies!” Autumn shouted as soon as she realized what was going on. There were way too many for them to stay and fight. “Run!”

Together, the two knights ran up the path and toward the castle, the huge army of zombies following close behind them. They ran as fast as they could, finally reaching the drawbridge to the castle. They ran across it, the zombies close in tow.

“How do we stop them?” Mavis asked, turning to face the approaching army. Autumn looked around. The drawbridge was being held up by a pair of chains. With one heavy swing from her battle axe, she chopped the chain closest to her in two.

Mavis did the same with her sword, and the bridge fell into the moat, trapping the zombies on the other side. “That was close,” Autumn said. “Let’s go get that magic.”

The two knights walked into the little castle. Standing on the balcony and watching them was the evil queen. “I see you’ve bested my army of zombies!”

“Give us back her magic, Evil Queen!” Mavis called out.

“That wasn’t my only trick!” the evil queen yelled, waving her hands around. “Abra-ka-zabra!”

Knight Autumn opened her mouth to challenge the evil queen to come down and face them, but a loud crashing sound from below them stopped her.

“What was that?” Mavis asked, looking around as another crash echoed through the castle, closer this time.

“That was my pet,” the evil queen cackled. Then, a whole wall exploded as a gigantic robotic triceratops burst through.

“That’s not good…” Knight Autumn said, twirling her battle axe. The triceratops gave a great, robotic roar, stomping its feet on the ground. It started them down with its glowing yellow eyes. Autumn and Mavis both met the challenge with a roar of their own, and the fight was on.

The triceratops charged at them, and both knights dove aside. The robot barely missed them. Autumn was up first. She swung the battle axe with all of her might, but the triceratops was fast. It blocked the blow with its horns and launched Autumn off of her feet.

Mavis, who was getting up from behind the great monstrosity, charged at the beast and caught it with her sword. The triceratops gave a robotic roar and swung its tail, catching Mavis and throwing her right into Autumn.

The two knights got up fast, ready this time for the triceratops to charge them. At the last second, they stepped aside. As the robotic beast charged past them, they both swung with all of their strength, catching it in its sides. The robot triceratops gave one last great roar and tumbled to the ground, the glowing lights of its eyes flickering off. They’d defeated it.

“You two are good fighters,” the evil queen said from the balcony, “but you’re no match for me!” She jumped down to the ground and raised her hands, and magical fireballs appeared in them.

“Uh oh,” Autumn said. The evil queen threw the fireballs and both knights jumped out of the way, barely escaping the blast.

“We need to find a way to finish this fight!” Mavis shouted, diving out of the way of another fireball. Autumn looked around the room for some way to defeat the queen. On the other side of the queen, she saw the rope on the wall that was tied to the chandelier.

“Keep her busy!” Autumn said, running along the edge of the room to get around the queen. Mavis shouted at their foe and swung her sword from side to side. The queen began launching fireball after fireball at Mavis, who had to swing as fast as she could to block the fireballs with her sword.

Across the room, Autumn made it to the rope. She swung the axe, chopping the rope and the chandelier came tumbling down. The queen heard the sound and dove forward, narrowly escaping the trap. The dive, however, left her at Mavis’ feet.

“Gotcha,” Mavis said, bringing the handle of the sword down on the evil queen’s head and knocking her out. Autumn opened the vial and poured the magical water on the evil queen and all of the stolen magic swirled away from her, leaving her without powers at all.

Mavis and Autumn rode their horses back to their kingdom, where a huge party was held to celebrate the defeat of the evil queen, and everyone lived happily ever after.

YAAAAAAWWWWWNNNNN. One of the most powerful concepts in the universe, because now that you’re thinking about it, you’re going to. You might be tired, you might not. You might really not want to yawn, but thinking about that comforting stretch of the jaw muscles, that sweet, deep inhalation, it’s going to be impossible to resist. You might not want to yawn, resisting it is just not scientifically possible!

It all began with an exhale. Several thousand chemicals and particles left her lungs, some in higher concentrations than others. Among the standard collections of carbon dioxide and oxygen came arsenic, benzene, nicotine, and a plethora of others, huffed out by a mother that was stressed out, overworked, and sleep deprived.

The window was cracked as they traveled down the highway, just a few inches. Cold air whipped loudly around the interior of the car even as the heater worked on full blast to keep the temperature comfortable. Through that open slip of window, the majority of the visible smoke exited the car.

In the mind of this mother, that was it. The smoke was gone in its entirety and everything was fine. For the most part, that was right. A very large percentage of the smoke left the car, never to bother them again. Most of it, but not all of it.

Some of these particles and chemicals, too few to haze the visible spectrum, bounced back off the glass of the window. Others caught the breeze and tracked back further into the car. Were her senses not already dulled by overexposure to these very chemicals, she might take notice.

She did not. She drove on, oblivious. Equally oblivious, these remaining bits and pieces found their way into the cars air currents and explored their little world. Some found their way to the fabric of the passenger seat. Others took refuge on the windshield, the floorboard, the seat belts...some even found their way back into moms lungs.

Still others found the carseat. A small, miniscule fraction of them, to be sure, but some. And of those that found their way to the region of the carseat, an even smaller fraction, found their way into the infant's nostrils.

The scent was noxious, irritating, but her cries were easily mistaken for any of the myriad of other reasons she might cry. She wasn’t hungry, though. She hadn’t wet her diaper and she wasn’t particularly tired. She just didn’t like that smell.

Of those particles that made their way up her nostrils, most were exhaled immediately. Some took rest along the lining of the trachea and much of what remained made it no further than the upper lungs. One particle made its way deep down into the alveoli, coming to rest near the bottom of the lung.

Throughout her respiratory tract, the bodies mechanisms set to work to eject these unwelcome guests. However, this particular particle, down deep in the lungs, proved itself an unobtrusive guest at the start, and the cells around it failed to react.

In time, these cells found it necessary to divide. The particle itself was drawn into this process and left its mark, small and significant. A minor change to a critical portion of the nucleotide sequence. This change did not prevent the cellular reproduction.

The cells split into daughter cells, and then did so again. Each had lost the ability to determine when to stop splitting. They immediately began to split again, and then again, and again. There was nothing more important than reproduction anymore, and there were no longer instructions on when to stop.

It would take years before this manifested as something noticeable, and even then only to the most observant of healthcare practitioners. She would be a little underweight, maybe she coughed a little more than the other girls her age.

But, that was a problem for another day. For today, for that little moment, mothers stress had been alleviated.

Allow me, friends, to take you on a culinary adventure of sorts. I've been trying to eat a little healthier and one of the recipes I came across was a bean salad.

"Why," I thought to myself, "that has potential to be a nice, mediocre side dish!"

And so, charging to the grocery store for my weekly groceries, I too picked up a trio of canned beans. Now, to be fair, I had simply looked at a title and a picture. At no point did I open the recipe to see what I should need.

Fast forward to today. I am ready. The time is right. I break out my cans, strain them, and stare.

"What comes next, Bryce?" you might ask. Well, this is the point where, for the first time, the recipe is opened. It is at this point, already strainer deep in beans, that I realize this is not going according to plan. Two of my three beans are the wrong kind.

"No matter!" I say, bean on! I read into the recipe. I need celery and a red onion. Now, I don't have a red onion, but I have half a white one. Close enough!

Chop it like a pro (see: took like 35 minutes for three stalks and a strip of onion), mix it with the beans, and look at the needs for sauce. Black pepper, salt, apple cider vinegar, sugar and olive oil.

Mein gott, I have all five! I break them out and get measuring. I pour about half again as much pepper as I need and mix juuuuuuuust a smidge much on the salt front. Next, the exactly PERFECT amount of olive oil!

This would be where my second mistake was made. Instead of mixing said ingredients into my mixing bowl I poured into the measuring cup. This is important because I only had enough olive oil to do this once. Can't accurately pour it out and continue to mix this accurately...I must charge on!

So I open the frankly not so appealing apple cider vinegar and pour what my eyes think is about a third of a cup. Pretty potent stuff. I mix the sugar and stir. It looks...less than appetizing. And smells strongly of the vinegar.

No matter, this can be fixed by adding more sugar! And Mrs Dash, because reasons!

I mix, pour, stir, and behold! My BEAN SALAD!!!

I've taken my first bite, and let me tell you, it is something else. It tastes of flavorless beans with a hint of sweetness and the aftertaste of sweaty toes. Lesson learned!

From: Anderson de Rouche

<anderson.de.rouche@VPcarsonstation.net>

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2143, 0942 hrs

To: Jason Ford <jason.ford@carsoncorporate.net>

Subject: We need a different approach

It has happened...again. Yesterday evening one of the new hires, some nincompoop from maintenance, pressed the emergency door override in the mess hall, thinking it was the espresso machine no doubt, and vented the whole hall into space! This is the second such occurrence THIS MONTH! We lost two cooks, a few maintenance techs and the contents of the dehydrated fruit cabinet, which was of course unsecured during the venting. Oh, and also Dr. Godfried! Heaven knows what London will think of that, he was only here for a short PR visit.

My thoughts on our “fire suppression system” for the Carson Station mess hall are already well documented, but that blasted warning sign is just not cutting it! We can’t afford to just be venting personnel and oxygen into space willy-nilly, we need a different method in place if venting the whole compartment is really going to be the fire suppression system.

Regards,

Anderson

From: Jason Ford <jason.ford@carsoncorporate.net>

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2143, 1011 hrs

To: Anderson de Rouche

<anderson.de.rouche@VPcarsonstation.net>

Subject: RE: We need a different approach

Willy-nilly? You sound ridiculous. I heard about the venting and it is, of course, a tragic accident. These things happen. I have already reached out to Mrs. Godfried and Carson Corporation is extending a generous condolence package to her.

As for your problems with the fire suppression system, you simply need to work on training your new hires better. Everyone knows that it takes heat, fuel and oxygen for a fire to take place. Rather than spending several MILLION dollars shipping and installing a sprinkler system or some such nonsense, it makes absolute sense to just vent the fire into space! Get over it!

Jason

From: Anderson de Rouche

<anderson.de.rouche@VPcarsonstation.net>

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2143, 1114 hrs

To: Jason Ford <jason.ford@carsoncorporate.net>

Subject: RE: RE: We need a different approach

You can’t be serious!? The emergency vent button is inside the mess hall! If there is a fire, you’re asking personnel to vent themselves into space!

From: Jason Ford <jason.ford@carsoncorporate.net>

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2143, 1120 hrs

To: Anderson de Rouche

<anderson.de.rouche@VPcarsonstation.net>

Subject: RE: RE: RE: We need a different approach

A worthy sacrifice that I am certain any man would make, rather than doom the whole station to a fiery death. Train your people better Anderson, and don’t hire cooks that catch things on fire!

From: Gary Morris

<gary.morris@carsonstationmaint.net>

Sent: Wednesday, March 27, 2143, 1300 hrs

To: Jason Ford <jason.ford@carsoncorporate.net>

Subject: Overkill?

Good afternoon, sir

This is Gary Morris, I work in maintenance on Carson Station. I saw the new warning placard on the wall in the mess hall and wondered if it might be a bit much.

“Warning, only press if your flesh is literally boiling off of you” seems like it might be little excessive, and it is hard eat thinking about my skin boiling off…

Anyway, I asked Anderson about it and he muttered something about “Ford” at corporate, so I figured I’d inquire. Thanks,

Gary