The air was freezing and I wished I had some warmer socks on. I just needed to get home. At least I had gloves. Or else holding this milk would have been torture. With the temperature out here I probably would kiss it goodbye and then eat my cookies without milk. Or have another snack. Perhaps, chips and dip or some avocado toast. I was coming up to 5th street and I heard music. Was it Betty on her keyboard out on the corner of 6th and North? She doesn't play on weekends and she would be down at her folks house in Georgia for Christmas. I kept walking toward the sound. There were three people playing horns. I am no musician so I didn't know for sure what they were. One was a trumpet but there was something stuck in it. There was a circle shaped one and the last was a saxophone I think. They were playing Christmas songs, but in a soft and nostalgic way. I closed my eyes and listened. I let the music go through my body and I felt the warmth. From my head to my chest to my arms then my legs. Then my feet and suddenly I was shocked back to the reality of my cold toes. I opened my eyes and found a clock in the store window behind the musicians. It was an hour since I had left the store. I hurried home with my milk for my midnight snack.

1. When did I begin to write?

I don't remember the first thing I wrote. Probably my name, lol. I would start writing stories in any notebooks I had. I never finished them. I would get these "great ideas" but then never have the patience to finish them. In school, when we had to write things creatively I always had so much fun. Especially because since they had a due date I would finish them. They were always longer than other people's writings. I've been writing since I learned how to write and came up with ideas.

2. What does writing give back to me?

It gives me satisfaction for one. Just seeing that I completed something, especially if I can share it makes me feel good. I often go back and reread things and see how far I've come which gives me inspiration. I also write sometimes when I have a lot of feelings and it helps me get them out and process them. It is a therapy.

3. What is your ultimate writing goal?

I suppose if I think about it there is really one main reason that I write. It is for my sake. I like when others enjoy my writing, but I love when they tell me that. Since, I am actually kind of good at writing sometimes I use it to get compliments to feel better. However, If I am writing poems, they might be for sending a message. My ultimate goal would be to write something amazing that would help people in some way. Then if I get praise for it that would be a bonus. I like helping people, I just usually don't think about that when I'm writing. So I would like to combine the two.

All I want for Christmas is...something. I know that seems like a stupid answer, but that is all I know. There is something that I want. Maybe Christmas knows what it is. That is what I'm hoping anyway. Something is missing. It's not love, I have that. It's not gift cards, I do want that but those aren't the something. All I want for Christmas is...something that I want that I don't have it's...something. My life is on a halt. I've been waiting for it to move on, but it doesn't want to. I have a meaning in life, a purpose, that is not what I am looking for. I am looking for something else, something...I don't know. I wish I had the Christmas spirit. That decreases every year and I expected the same this year. I did have the Christmas spirit but I had it for a while and it got tired. It stopped and I went back to being normal me with no spirit. Do I need a spirit, not the Christmas spirit, just a spirit? I feel tasteless and gray. Being gray is just terrible. I don't know what I used to be...something. I was something and now I am gray. I need that something back. That is what I want for Christmas. I want something that isn't gray. Something I used to have, that I lost. Please Christmas I'm begging you. It's weird to beg to Christmas, but I don't believe in Santa. I don't believe in magic. Christmas you are all I have if you could please give me something I would be so grateful. Miracles happen this time of year, and maybe that's what I need. Just stir me up one of those special Christmas miracles that gives me back that something. Do you need specific details? All I know is I've been without it for a while. Just go through my life and find that something I had and wrap it up for me. Maybe put a note with it, with instructions. Instructions how to put it back into my life. If you can find it Christmas, maybe my friends know. They've known things before that I didn't know. Maybe my family would know what it is. Christmas please just find the something. Bring some of the Christmas spirit with you too, okay. That would be nice. If that's all you can get I will still be grateful. I just want something for Christmas. An explanation, a feeling, an answer, a hobby, a goal, a smile, a talent, a plan, a hope, just something, I don't know what it is. Please please bring me something for Christmas.