“Middle English: from Old French avis, based on Latin ad ‘to’ + visum, past participle of videre ‘to see’. The original sense was ‘way of looking at something, judgement’, hence later ‘an opinion given’.”

In this case, the way of looking is coming from a place of solidarity. The ‘seeing’? I see my experiences, that same nihilistic feeling. The thoughts of suicide? Always lurking. But they don’t have to, not forever. They go away, and there’s always a new day. Talking is the first step. Talking is how you might find relief, some way of seeing.

The people around you? They want to support you. Give your parents a chance; tell them your demons. Just say what you’re feeling. It works; the people you love will run a hundred marathons for you.

Believe in yourself, in your future, in your relationships. Hold on to those. Who doesn’t believe in their friends, their family? Everyone - every single one of them - is likewise routing for your health and happiness.

Believe in yourself, and your future. The origin of the word future:

“late Middle English: via Old French from Latin futurus, future participle of esse ‘be’ (from the stem fu-, ultimately from a base meaning ‘grow, become’).”

When I was in college, I got a ‘B+’ in linguistics, the study of the origin of words. At first? I failed test after test, and that feeling of hopelessness? It’s potent. I remember getting my first test back and seeing the ‘F’. I cried openly in class. I felt so alone. More than that, I’d have to take an extra semester of college if I didn’t pass. The pressure was on.

But other people? They come through.

My professor gave me one chance - a re-do. I sat with my TA every day for a week prepping for the final. My grade? An A.

That feeling of hopelessness? It goes away. Because that ‘A’ was my moment. My moment to prove them wrong, my demons wrong. It was a moment I keep in my emotions bank, and pull out when I need that extra loan of support, that extra push.

Keep plugging. You’re going places. I believe that.