‘’I’m ready to die by your side.”

He fell to his knees. A few soldiers, ran to his side.

They carried him to his room. Once he was left alone, he removed his uniform.

“The men would not make it a day without me.”

His chin hurt. He looked in a mirror and saw a mark forming across his face.

#GrandCrownofLies

Dimanche, 22 septembre, 2019.

The Score - Can’t Stop Me Now (Lyric Video):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRRt8EyYNvg

White sheet pulled back

And gasps escaped them.

They knew of her issues -

The drugs, the prostitution,

The constant "I'll be there"s

"I promise I'll come next time"s

"I didn't mean to miss it"s.

But she wore more scars

Than the needle marks,

Handprints, and calluses.

Permeating her skin deeper

Than the smell of her own urine,

LIAR lined her back and limbs,

And her kids could no longer

Hide their tears from her.

Don't ask me how to get there

I have no way of knowing

Don't ask me for directions

I don't know where you're going

Don't ask the way to somewhere

That I have never been

I'll tell you to look out for

Landmarks I've never seen.

In fact, I'm lost myself now

A stranger on this way

I long since lost myself now

But how, I dare not stay

They call me now The Wanderer

Myself I'm searching for

I'm lost, myself, now aimless

And searching, evermore.

“You’re my angel,” she smiled as he dropped her off.

“I know. Mr Perfect. That’s me.”

His smile was wide but he flinched as the words came out and the dagger like pain scratched across his back.

Another one.

Danny was a hero. A saviour. A people pleaser.

But he wore long sleeves. Always.

He never went swimming or bared his legs.

For then they would see the scars of his deceit.

The cuts of his lies.

He felt it did no harm.

He was perfect in his dealings with them and they all benefitted from his willingness to do good for them.

But he hated it when they said so, for he could not deny their words always. And when he accepted the compliment and agreed with their praise or thanks, his skin split and more scars came.

Of course, he couldn’t tell them about his big secret.

That he lied sometimes. That he gambled. That he drank vodka occasionally and had improper thoughts; even leading him now and then to watch naked bodies intertwined in pornographic scenes.

How could he admit these things?

Nobody could admit to them, he thought.

And Danny was correct.

Nobody could admit to them.

And nobody did.

And they all bore the secret scars

Of their deceit.

While passing by a river, I saw

A river.

That’s all it was.

Just a river.

Not a mystery.

Not a ‘babbling brook’.

Nothing poetic

It was just a river

Wide and smooth

And flowing out to sea.

Calming, perhaps,

With its flow and gentle sounds

But not magical

And nothing poetic.

It’s just a river,

After all,

Flowing out to sea

Made of rain from hills

Or mountains.

A natural phenomenon

And nothing poetic

Flowing out to sea.

Everyone she knew had The Marks. Every "traffic was horrendous" or "I couldn't find my keys" was there on their bodies, along with the bigger"I love you"s and "I'm sorry"s. But her porcelain skin glowed with honesty. Except, she had no one to share it with. No one wants to talk to you when you only speak the truth.

“It’s always the quiet ones,” says the coroner shaking his head as he stares down at the mess on the floor. Blood pools around the head of a man lying at an awkward angle.

An officer whistles low. “Check out the scars on him,” he says.

“Yeah. These suicides have lots,” the coroner replies.

They can hear a woman in the hall, sobbing loudly, “I talked to him this morning. He said he was fine.”

Gwen held back her tears. "No," she protested, "I really do." She blinked frantically, trying to give her lungs air. The new scar stung on her face, expanding from her left eye to her to the bottom of her lips. When she touched her cheek her hand came away red.

Jordon looked like she had punched him in the chest.

"Jordon, I do," Gwen knew the pain was about to come back. "I love you."

I am red,

Like the color that I saw,

As you turned away,

When I needed help.

I am orange.

The same as the flames,

Of the house as it burnt,

Like something from a nightmare.

I am yellow.

The sun shining in my eyes,

As you drove away,

For the last time.

I am green,

Like the life I should have had,

But withered and died,

Under your care.

I am blue,

For the tears I wish I hadn’t cried,

And that you didn’t,

And never will deserve.

And I am purple,

For all the times,

I made a mistake,

By believing you could change.

I am the entire rainbow,

But when I think of you,

And what you’ve done,

I am a single emotion.

"I'll forgive you."

Muttering those words over the phone, I should've known their effect. Nonetheless, I said them, and a sharp pain ran across my face.

"I'll always love you. We're family; that won't change."

I strained to speak, suppressing any indication of discomfort. The call ended.

I looked in the mirror.

A large scar covered my eye and cheek.

Hah... but what did it matter? He wouldn't see it anyways.

He never saw me.