Who can lie?

Love’s fucking crazy!

One minute it’s perfect,

Next minute we hate it.

How can you bring out my worst,

And my best?

My triggers pull your triggers,

I go insane - act a mess.

I have heartache and pain,

from our disconnect.

Seems like just yesterday,

I was kissing your neck.

In a solitary cell,

I prayed for you.

Dreamed you’d be tossed in by the CO,

And I’d have my way with you.

But I’ll never tell.

Gotta’ stay away from you.

I get three meals a day,

And I sleep on a cot.

So many hours to think,

What we had - what I lost.

What I threw away,

Acting without thought.

I’ll admit I’m ashamed,

That the one I love best,

Was treated the worst.

It’s my biggest regret.

They say when one door is closed,

Another is open.

Not when locked in cinder block,

Unless you have magic potion.

Having haters is a sign of

Your true greatness

Society wont reward homeostasis

to the fake shit

The higher path we choose

We rise above

We transcend all this

And if you see your dreams divided

Like a million stars,

Scribble it out

Burn that shit down

And rise up like a Phoenix

Spiral up and spiral out

Puff on mythical clouds

Fly carelessly

’Bove inaugural sized crowds

You and I best know

haters only hate themselves

I see you carelessly fly

High above those stuck on the ground

And baby girl, don’t be scared of gravity

It’s keeping us grounded

But our souls are still free

Rainbow energy just dancing around

I got your back

And I know this world can be mean

Believe me when I tell you

That you’ll always be a queen to me.

I know one day you’ll see,

and live all your best dreams.

They say its where the heart is.

Mine must be broken and shattered,

A billion jagged pieces scattered.

Ground into the sand of beaches,

Who’s beauty was blocked by melancholy.

Home is smashed like bottles on the side of the highway,

Leaving tiny puddles of beer residue,

growing mildew.

Shards stuck in tire grooves of passing cars.

It’s buried deep like treasure,

but it’s just a dirty secret.

Under murky water where the fish don’t even swim,

And dungeon like basements where few will dare to go.

It’s caked under the front seats of your car,

like that milkshake that spilled and dried up,

The sour smelling stain that nobody can blot away.

Stuck to you like glitter that never comes off.

Ashes pouring out of the fire-ring the morning after a storm.

It’s in all the places that make you cringe,

Because you’re alone,

But know you’re being watched.

I’m an amateur writer and artist, and I finally started working on writing portfolios. I found Prose while looking for creative prompts, and am stoked to be part of a community with a wealth of talent and imagination. I’m a California guy, dog dad and have an amazing partner who is a muse. I used to work in psychiatric hospitals but life events reminded me to follow my dreams. One of them is to be a creative writer. Another is to start a non profit art center for marginalized persons, especially children. I’m eager to learn grant writing for the non profit. I believe that everyone possesses creative talents, even if we haven‘t discovered them. Cheers!!!

The end to this life of mine.

Today is the day I’m done.

Done with the pain and sorrow.

I wish I had more will to borrow.

I’m hollow.

I feel all the things I don’t want to feel.

My only regret is the fun we never had.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger or held out a bit longer.

It’s an uphill battle and I’m under no impression it will plateau.

I’m saying goodbye and I wish you a great time.

You are gone

Pain now resides

Something is empty inside

Like my heart deflated

I know you are oblivious

I know you cant tell

But im dying over here

Yet through it all

I think of old memories

Faded days, golden days

When we sat together

Laughed, talked

I didnt care where or when

Or what you said or did

I just wanted to be with you

I loved being with you

I love your smile

Your laugh

How you make me happy

Just by being there

You live right there

Right next door

But the distance there

Is so hard to ignore

I know i made mistakes

Accidentally pushed you away

I said i was sorry

But the damage was made

I never see you anymore

In the same room, but strangers

Different friend groups

New lives

Separate lives

You understood me when no one did

You stayed with me when no one did

But you left me when i left

And nothing can make it right

I thought I was failing

I thought that I was falling behind

With everyone watching

To see if I would shine

But it wasn’t true

I was standing as a light

But instead of my mistakes

They saw my strengths

I was a helper

I was a teacher

I was a disciple of Christ

I was an example

To everyone around me

I was a beacon of hope

I haven't yet.

But I have always thought that I will meet him in a library. I'll be browsing through the racks, looking for my next 3 hours of fantasy, and I'll look up and he'll be looking at me. Then he will come say hi, because I am shy and would never do that, and we will bond over Brandon Sanderson and rice crispies.

But who knows? Maybe I'll meet him in a restaurant, or on campus, or in a grocery store.

You never know...

The feeling of being noticed is one of the best I have ever felt.

I learned last night that one of my good friends asked me to Homecoming because he knew I had never gone to a school dance and figured that I should have the chance.

Lets just say that I havent stopped smiling since I heard that.

At that dance so many people saw me and said, "ROSEMARY!!!!" Then gave me a huge hug. I was honestly surprised at the amount of people that were so happy to see me.

Me. Little ol' me.

Nerdy, geeky, quiet me.

Unnoticed me.

I think going to that dance last night gave me the closure I needed to finally feel like I am done with High School. I felt distanced from everyone the whole dance. I felt less inhibited, more free then I did while in school.

I dont really know quite where I'm going with this.

Maybe I'm trying to tell people to notice others. Say hi to the shy kid in the halls. Smile at your coworkers. Leave a nice note for the postman.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

Or maybe Im trying to say that school dances aren't the yick of all grossness, like I always assumed they were. Don't get me wrong, the music is horrible, but the people are awesome.

Or maybe I'm just trying to make sense of the conflicting emotions in my head.

Or maybe I just want chocolate.