Hi everyone!

For a long time, I've had my website linked in my profile. But recently, I decided to switch to a different website builder and make a new website.

The link is this: whitewolfe32.wixsite.com/wolfe

A little bit complicated, but the site is miles above my old site.

If you enjoy my work and would like to see more, please check it out!

Thanks,

A.C. Wolfe

Run.

It's what you do best.

Run and blame others for your own insecurities.

She's gained a few pounds?

Run from the relationship. The relationship YOU initiated. The exclusivity YOU suggested. It's easier than trying.

Run ... like a coward.

But not before making her feel bad about herself because you're too scared to admit your own faults.

But she was to blame as well.

Your flakiness was confused for spontaneity.

Childish demeanor? Or a fun-loving personality? She was too willfully blind to see what you really were. What you really wanted.

You wanted the perks of a relationship without any of the responsibility. You wanted to fuck and run.

Fuck

... then run

the minute things got too hard

... too real.

It's not surprising. You're always moving.

Always running toward one goal: You.

Everyone else be damned.

Even in bed, you'd storm in, ready to claim your most prized possession: your narcissistic pleasure.

Your superficiality knows no bounds. You know nothing about how to pleasure a woman, nothing about real intimacy. You talk a good game but the orgasms were faked to satiate your ego.

So, go ahead and run. Run because you're too afraid to find out what it's like to feel

raw, unadulterated affection.

She'll be sleeping soundly,

knowing you'll no longer be a part of her.

They say connection is a drug

a buzz that binds the soul anew.

The oxytocin fills his brain

and fuses his heart onto you.

But then connection starts to fail

and desperation makes him fear.

You hide your tears behind the veil

because he always wants you near.

Attachment has become a cell

you’re locked away without a key.

To outside viewers all is well

you’re drowning in your misery.

What once were harsh words now are blows.

You hide your pain behind a wall.

The worst thing is that no one knows

how much you ache, how far you’ll fall.

While he’s afraid he’ll lose his clout,

you are fearing for your life,

but he will never let you out.

You are his victim and his wife.

#fear #attachment #separation #divorce #domesticviolence #connection #violence #lonliness #metoo #addiction #spousalabuse

If only I understood the limitations of what you were willing to give me. If only I had taken more chances when it came to you. If only I looked beyond family's and society's expectations of what I needed in a relationship. If only I took advantage of the incredible chemistry we had together despite knowing it would never last. If only I understood that life is not a romance novel. If only I had focused on the reality of what we were instead of reaching for something you weren't willing to give. If only I were brave enough to take what I craved from you. If only I listened to our reality rather than creating a fantasy world. If only I understood us better, I would have closure and acceptance for what things were.

Why is it that

when falling a trillion feet

from the sky into hell,

I seem to have

all the time in the world

to revel in my mistakes?

Why is it that

as I'm falling,

I think of all the things

I should have done?

Why is it that

the world moves slower

when it's rushing past?

Why is it that I

can't find myself

in this haze of silver mist,

where people lie in wait

to kidnap my individuality?

Why is it that

it takes a razor blade to feel?

This is what I think

when I fall into the hole.

The valley, the ditch, the ravine

that I have carved into my wrist.

I never knew I could fall

so many times.

As we slip

into grace

the forgotten

place

with your face

so dear

so warm

and near

we listen...

Outside

the wind

is stirring.

While here

in this night

of each other's

light

we receive

the blessing

of love

caressing

while outside

the wind

She whispers :

Now fate

it seems

will mend

your dreams

from broken darkness

to boundless moonbeams.

Change in scenery does not equals change in motivation and happiness. You can spend your whole life quitting job after job when you lose motivation and just repeating the cycle the next one. You can buy all the luxury items and go home to a mansion but still not be happy. Status and wealth do not equal happiness. Change does not equal motivation. Stop looking to the outside world to fix problems only you can fix internally. Don’t fall into the trap of always searching for the next best thing that you forgot to appreciate what you have right now. Some things can only come from within.

She's like the silence before a storm, the stretch of the desert, depth of the deep blue sea. She's the wilderness of the forest, the mystery of space. She's magic, she's art. She’s perfect yet flawed. She’s aesthetic, spellbinding and everything in between. She's the euphoria you feel when you are high, the escape you need when you are low. She's flame that lights up your cigarettes, the enthralling smoke that leaves your lips. Give her love and she'll devote her soul to you. Take her for granted and she'll rip open a void within you.

A mask is what we wear.

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.

On the mask is a smile.

Forced. Real. Unsure. Scared. Alone. Broken.

It’s always different. For every person.

With our heart’s torn and bleeding, we smile.

Hiding the tears.

We numb and we hide and we pretend.

Pretending that everything will be okay.

That we’ll be okay.

But we are getting sick and tired of always being someone we are not.

Aren’t we? Or is even that us pretending?

We just want to hide our fear.

Fear of never being good enough for anyone.

Fear that no one will ever love us.

Fear that we won’t love ourselves.

It’s amazing, isn’t it?

What we can fake with a smile.

That’s all it takes. A beautiful [fake] smile.

It hides our injured soul so deep.

That no one ever knows how broken we really are.

“Are you okay?”

They would ask, sounding like they actually care about.

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

Is what we say with that fake twinkle we have gotten so used to wearing.

We say it over and over, repeatedly tucking away our heart.

We don’t want to have it broken. Not again.

We act as if nothing is wrong.

That we are not breaking.

That we are fine.

They are such fools.

Believing us so easily.

Can’t they see our pain? Our tears.

Are they even looking?

Why can’t they tell that we’re wearing a mask?

Is the smile that we wear too good?

We are good at it. Hiding.

It’s what we do. Hidden behind our mask.

It comes so naturally for us.

But sooner or later it becomes an addiction.

Our need to lie becomes too great.

No one ever thinks we’ll fall apart. That we’ll break.

But we do. So much.

Sometimes that’s good, but not always.

There are times where we wish we could just break down.

On someone’s awaiting shoulder.

As they comfort our pain.

But for now, our masks will remain on.

#mask #poetry #Depression #fake #smile #alone #hidden #broken

Fear starts in the pit of my stomach, twisting and writhing, refusing to leave me alone. Tiny tendrils reach up, spreading like a wildfire that engulfs me and squeezes tightly, making it hard to breathe, limiting my air. Then I take a deep breath. The panic stops and I go back to my business as if it didn’t happen.

But I know that it did.