Ultimately I control myself.

But life is quite a beast to try and tame.

I am chained down by sad thoughts. 

Mirrors don't seem to reflect beauty.

Life does not control me, but it manipulates the way I experience the world.

My eyes have been blind to the natural wonder that is my body.

I have been deaf to all the positive words spoken.

Life has yet to let me taste the flavors of confidence and happiness.

Today I have discovered that though I am chained, I also have the keys.

And that the mirror has only been in need of cleaning.

Do not let life's bark frighten you.

You are the only one that decides how its bite affects you.

So put a muzzle on it.

I promise to always be a constant in your life.

You may never return the sentiment, but that's alright, i've come to terms that i'm not your priority.

At first it was unfathomable, we've been through so many things surely you wouldn't give up that easily on me?

But as the pain befell me, I began to think.

I have always had your back, but i've never asked for the favor to be returned.

So its starting to sink in that the one time I really need your friendship, my pain is too much an inconvenience for you.

That fact alone is more of a blow to me than the way you used me.

How do you throw away a friendship like the one I gave you? 

I hate always being the one that cares more.

No one should have to beg for a friend's comfort, so with that I have decided to take my inconvenience elsewhere.

Sorry for just needing someone to be there for me.

And sad part is, if you would call me right now in need of a friendly voice or help I wouldn't fucking hesitate to be there for you.

God I feel empty.

People smile my way, but never start a conversation.

Am I worth anything to anyone?

This summer has been dull and lonely.

I wake up without purpose, and spend my day wasting time.

Disappointment- realizing its a one sided thing.

The cracks in my heart are about to give way and come crumbling down.

I never thought i'd be this type of writer, never thought these were the feelings I would be spilling to strangers. 

It is what it is. 

I stepped out the elevator, right foot, left foot.

My eyes were fixed on the glowing screen in my hand as I spoke to my friend walking alongside me.

The lobby was empty and quiet, it felt as safe as always.

My friend and I greeted our favorite front desk workers as we passed the check in counter.

My stomach made an ungodly noise as I picked up the Cup of Noodles. 

My mouth watered at the thought of grabbing the cup out of the microwave.

I pulled a twenty out of my wallet to pay for dinner when.....

ENTER: two males. faces concealed. armed.

It took me a moment to realize the intent of the new "guests" arriving.

Stricken with panic I turn to face my friend who is white as a ghost backed into the wall hands raised where you could see them.

I turn to face one of the front desk workers and my eyes are staring down a barrel of a gun. 

I don't remember hearing anything they said, everything was white noise.

Surrendering my wallet, (yes my full wallet with my school ID, driver's license, and medical insurance card) I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

The panic I felt in that moment was indescribable, there is no way to tell you the helplessness of having a gun pointed at you.

You don't know if it's loaded, if they intend to shoot it. 

The only thought running through my head was that I wasn't ready to die, I wanted nothing more than to not be shot. 

Then my mind was truly running as I thought of my mother waiting for me to return to the room with her bottle of water she'd asked for. 

What if I didn't make it? Would she be asked to identify my body? How could I do that to her?

As the two individuals focused their attention on raiding the register and safe, I looked for any space to hide or shield myself behind.

I made my way toward a small crack between the wall and an ATM machine.

There was no way for me to fit, but fear is more powerful than logic in a situation as I found myself. 

I still didn't hear or comprehend anything, I just tucked my head toward the wall and ducked down. 

If I got shot maybe I wouldn't be fatally wounded.

An overwhelming wave of relief came over me as I watched those two individuals make their escape. 

The lights above me started flashing and my feet began to lead me towards the elevator.

My friend followed close behind as the employees yelled at us to get to our rooms.

The fire alarms were blasting as I regained my hearing, but I still pressed the button for the elevators.

I'd much rather be stuck in an elevator, than chance taking the stairs where they might reenter the hotel.

Composing myself and thanking God that he spared my life, I turned to my dear friend. 

Her face was red and breath uneven as the anxiety of what we had just gone through sunk in. 

We got to the fourth floor and I led her to her room, then ran to rejoin my mother.

As I reunited with my mom, I really thought I might not be able to hug her again, and I just remember not wanting to let go.

In the end, one of the employees had pulled the fire alarm and scared aways the two men. 

I truly hope that you never experience this my friends, please stay safe always. Xx 

The world is so broken.

My heart aches while I watch the deep wounds continuously ripped open and unable to heal.

We preach and preach about peace, but what is the idea without action?

There are so many people worthy of a better life, but have no way to help themselves.

People keep dividing themselves instead of mending pains of the past.

Injustice is seen, but people choose to be blind to it.

The color of skin is irrelevant.

Why don't we embrace the diversities and cultures?  

Who are we to look down on another person? We are all the same regardless of color, religion, and whatever else people find offensive these days. 

We all have a body that has a heart and that pumps the same color of blood through our veins. 

The world's lack of acceptance is my biggest grief.

We all share the same human experience. Everyone experiences loss, goes through childhood, and has something they are working towards.

The fact that we are afraid of another person like us is absolute madness. 

Please explain to me how you can justify discriminating against someone just like you.

What are people going to be afraid of next? The mirror?

I was going to enter this in the challenge, but didn't have enough coins.....

Smoke seeps from her mouth as she finishes the last drag of her cigar. She doesn't bother putting out the bud, flame only thrives here. As she takes each step toward her throne, her tiny feet pounds against the ground causing the whole realm to tremble. There has never been a day of true joy in her life, this life is the only one she has known since being casted down here. Knowledge of love was the first thing to be forgotten when she arrived. Under her rule Hell lives up to its reputation. There is no memory of light, other than the fires that burn a melancholy blue. Before her rule, Hell was nothing more than a blank space full of hard hearted souls. Upon her arrival, terrible screams erupted and the sky weeped at the prisoner it had gained. Her presence sent a ripple of pure and utter despair throughout the realm, she was the embodiment of hate. She was an anti-god and spoke shackles unto tortured souls. No soul had experienced true suffering until the day her name was first spoken. She ordered all the rejected souls to build her castle. No breaks. They were already dead, they were worked to beyond death. There is no record of any soul  foolish enough to challenge her. Her body was the ultimate desire, though no soul dared to court her. She has not made any attempt at finding a king to rule beside her, for no one is worthy according to her preferences. So, everyday she holds court and forces her oppressed subjects to remain near her. Not even the hardest hearted person can remain close to her for very long before terror rips through them. She is isolation, hate, and the most sickening type of pain. Her name is Lucifer, empress of Hell.

The sky is clear and the day is mine for the taking.

Wind rushes through my hair as I increase speed.

Bright rays of light penetrate the glass warming my skin.

Outside the world is happening , but i'm safe from it.

Nothing grabs me more than the pounding beat, the intoxicating rhythm, words that I can feel. 

I let these emotions and experiences seep into me.

this is my nirvana.

                   Every morning in order to attend my first class, I am forced to take an isolated winding path.I hesitate every time I approach it, something about the shape causes my senses to heighten. It is paved with a peculiar dark sediment blacker than tar. Each curve is careless and lazy as a snake's slinking body. On this particular morning, I hesitated as always. A feeling in my gut held me back from trespassing onto the walkway. As I hesitated, the world began to move in slow motion as I witnessed a boy take the fatal step onto the slick black pavement. He was unaware as his gate slowed, each step harder to take. Eyes wide he looked down and panicked as one foot had been engulfed in a slimy substance. I watched on as he tried to free himself, but the wild curves of the dark road began to roll and writhe. The boy sank lower and lower as the substance climbed up his wriggling body.  I stood still as I witnessed the last strand of hair atop the boy's head smothered by the black ooze. My heart hammered as the creature, now satisfied, slithered into a nearby bush. Beads of sweat now slipped down my face as I fled frightened out of my wits. The next morning I dropped the class.