Words cut deeper

Than knifes.

Once they enter our ears,

They can never cease

To leave our thoughts.

They will slowly make a home

In our hearts, quietly settling in

Growing and growing;

Until our words form monsters

Which kill us.

I asked my friend,

If she was okay today.

She said yes, but I did

Not believe her. I tried

To dig a little deeper,

To crawl into her skin

And see what's on her mind

But then she asked me:

Why are you asking me if I'm okay?

And I desperately wanted to answer:

Because I am not okay. I feel like my life is slowly collapsing around me and no one cares enough to stop me. So I want to make sure you know, you're not alone. I don't want you to feel like me.

But instead,

I closed my mouth

And kept my thoughts

To myself, in my twisted

Mind where they belong.

I did not want her to

Know I was not okay.

Today, a man asked me:

"How are you?"

instead of replying:

"Good"

like I always tend to lie, 

I answered with the truth:

"I don't know."

He asked me:

"Are you depressed?"

No one has seemed to notice.

I am slowly losing myself,

collapsing and breaking

into a million pieces of glass

except no one acknowledges,

my internal bleeding

or the scars that I hide

beneath the sleeves of my fabric.

I wanted to breakdown

and cry into that stranger's arms

but I could not. 

He noticed.

Why do

you hurt 

yourself?

No one 

has ever 

cared enough 

to tell me: 

to stop.

I  got drunk off my tears 

I let the salt trickle  down my throat

and burn the callused wounds in my heart

it burned like gasoline but the feeling left me peaceful better than alcohol.

I doused the bottle down my throat and  swallowed my pain.

I went to the cupboard and grabbed a cup

and twisted out my handkerchief and let the tears hit the bottle 

I let them fall

too fast and they shatter

Now I am mess and drunk 

and spilling over with guilt

this was just accident 

I didn't mean for it happen

I just was drinking to get out of my head

I love how my mouth is left dry aching with pain

But the salt tastes so good

so why stop?

They say: "salt heals all wounds"

I am just trying to cover the wound in my heart.