I know, everything is my fault and I'm a horrible person.

but I just have one question:

what gives you the right to tell me who I'm allowed to be?

what gives you the right to tell me who I am?

what gives you the right to tell me I can't be what feels right?

what gives you the right to treat us like shit and pretend it didn't happen?

what makes you think we won't push you away?

nothing.

I'm not a horrible person for being upset with you.

but I do have one more question.

why are you such a god. damn. child.

no blanket,

no wall,

no saftey,

no light.

it's the absence of what makes us happy

I see

the sky

;

Bright blue

Happy

Calm

Peaceful

.

I see

clouds

;

Dark

Sad

Stormy

Raging

.

I get

swallowed up

in a dark

mad

stormy

mess

.

I let

myself

get fooled

by

the bright sky

.

I thought

it would be

peacful and

calm

.

I'll never

let myself

be tricked

by the

light again

.

I inhale the scent

of the pepper mint.

My stomach

churning,

and my breath

coming in and out

slower than

my heartbeat.

I feel so

lost.

I feel so

tired,

so weak.

So lost

when I let go

of your

hand,

walking

down the road.

I can't see

you anymore,

I can't remember

if I passed you

or not.

I just wish

I could rewind the clock

to that moment

our hands slipped

out of grasp.

Maybe it happened suddenly,

or maybe

it happened so slowly

neither of us noticed.

Or maybe you did,

but we were too far apart

for you to tell me.

All I can do is say I'm sorry,

and I miss you.

My hand is so cold without yours in it.