I yearn for lunchtime. My hunger inspires me to write about sausages, burgers, ramen, and steak, in detail to torture myself, I don't like myself ha ha. I yearn for a soft, warm roll with butter gently spread across the doughy insides. I crave a masterfully seasoned medium rare steak, firm but juicy. Wish to sip a ginger ale as I cut the steak and it oozes the red delicious blood and spice. I wish to indulge myself with crispy waffles, layered carefully with maple syrup and butter, stacked haphazardly. I wish for a burger, with the buns gently toasted and flaky, the burger itself full of its own individual taste and texture. A beautiful sight with the fries next to the burger. freshly cooked in oil and salted and perfect in that way they everyone desires. the decadence of cake and the horrors of the freezer chicken strips. I wish for a way to experience the taste and the smell and the texture in a way, Too good for words. The chills of the excitement ant the pure intoxicating flavors and aromas cascading upon all of your senses, overwhelming you and filling you with a deeper need to partake in the relief from savoring the essence of the beautiful food. or something.

My school is great, It has a glint of nostalgia. The school pride exists almost tangible enough to touch. I have been told that I will miss these years. In a sense I may. I have always been fond of most of my peers as I became a part of this family.

I will always be fond of CNE. I have been given many second chances and time to improve myself, And I did so with pride. Though not well at sports, I wanted to try.

But my God its exhausting and stupid at times, and the food is not as good as it once was, I will always love this school. Yes I wish it were over forever, and sooner! I hate getting on the bus and riding here Quite the opposite for the ride home.

Most days I wish to stay in bed. And I really wish I was able to quit, Most of my relationships here have failed, romantic of course but I have made tons of friends (or affiliates of course) and it being a part of the better part of my life. I will always remember it with hate and love and it is yet another thing to post on prose.

Okay so back when I was a wee little kid, my fake family (not still there) and I went to Florida and rented a big boat and we set sail for a few days. On the first day I was there on that boat, we grilled out. it was a decent gathering of people and we had fun! However, someone forgot to drop anchor and we drifted kinda far. Randy checked the G.P.S. While he did so I heard a loud deep bellowing whale noise. All of the sudden, This huge whale just came out of the water and kinda hit our boat. made the whole damn thing spin around. I was sea sick and crying and scared. I believed I was going to perish! However I was fine. I saw the big old tail over the other side of the boat. Hated whales since.....

A necessary pain to endure is the pain of abandonment. But its a pain that I feel motivates me to try where I never have before. It is the best motivation for me. I don't like needless suffering, I am sure many don't, as a rule we avoid it. But abandonment is something that always made me try to become better. It isn't the only one but it is the most common feeling. From at school to the dead memories of 9 years wasted in that home. The fear of abandonment and the process of avoiding it becomes vital in surviving. its over in a sense.

Death, although a normal part of life, is devastating.

The death of my best friend TreVaughn was traumatic. Death has a melancholy, eerie feel to it but to me it ultimately is a time and occasion of somber reminiscence.

The time and occasion to remember the best of someone is death. The world stops for a few minutes similarly to a moment of silence.

The realization hit me back when it happened, the realization that I would never see him again. It hurts. Mourning the loss of a best friend hurts a lot.

Ultimately when you come to peace with what happened is the time it becomes okay again, but every moment until then is agony.

Death for the elderly, when its their time is usually a beautiful moment when they are ready for their eternal sleep, (for those who are blessed with one), It is a time of celebration, respect, reconciliation and peace.

Many of a younger generation are fascinated with death, it is expressed through T.V., video games, and books. My opinions remain neutral on these but many feel it is a morbid expression. In a sense many are obsessed with it.

Many seek relief in death, we glorify and fear it. I feel it is nothing to fear just another part of life. I hold no opinion on any beliefs of the after life or reincarnation, however there are many philosophies following these ideas.

Whether it be with God in heaven or reincarnated based on what you did in one life and how it affects you in the next.

It is taboo, Many are uncomfortable with the thought of death and go great lengths to avoid it. Reasonably, The unknown that death holds is a scary mystery we may never fully answer.

We will all have to face it and sooner or later you may think and fear what comes next. Many believe in residual energies and consciousnesses left behind as ghosts. I do and it makes me ponder reality.

Death is confusing and although terrifying, it is necessary. Many choose to believe and hope to achieve a higher existence through death, that the body is just a vessel for the soul to use as a tool. that we are raw attention trapped in a body. I choose to believe it out of comfort. It helps me believe that this is not meaningless. That our existence is, although impermanent, is beautiful and serves a greater purpose.

We are not just what we accomplished. I am truly terrified if I did not cling to this, I would be forever living my life with a great amount of fear.

Death is unpredictable and today may be your last day. Or you may outlive all of your friends and family.

I feel like death is a bridge we will cross when we come to it. I hope someday we may reunite with those we lost.

I sincerely hope there is relief in the end! And want to pay my respects to Tre. I never forgot. R.I.P.

To my dad. You are one of the few people who I am concerned with any more. My fondest memories are usually of us before and during the darkest times of my life. Its a really long and sad story. So I will save it for later. However, during that 9 years, he was there physically and when he was unable to he was there in my mind. He is one of the reasons I have avoided ending it all. He helped make me a better person and as melancholy this feels, it is not a requiem I promise! He is like a vampire and a computer wizard. We listen to Rise Against, AFI, Misfits (with Glenn Danzig not Jerry Only in my opinion) and The Dead Kennedys. He is the funniest bastard I ever knew and is really nice. I carry great honour in being his son and I would hope someday to be able to sail the seas with him, all 7 in a cabin cruiser. Stuff is not so bad with him around. He knows what to say to help someone out and change a lifetime of grief with a story of Lao Tzu and a joke. To the best dad ever and one of the last people who I still care about. Cheers! and semper fidelis